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Mascot Jokes

what do zombie cereal mascots say?

graaaiiiins

What's the difference between a trick performed by the Valentine's Day mascot and Putin?

The trick is a Cupid Stunt.

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Little girl lands position as construction boss.

**A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.**


**The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing ...

A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid.

I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes.

Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his b...

What ethnicity are the Mucinex mascots?

Phlegmish.

Who would be the mascot against racism?

A panda!

He's black
He's white
Hes Asian!

A&W has no mascot

Did you hear what happened to the A&W mascot?

He was walking home one day when he got Mugged

Champ, the much-loved pub mascot.

Ted was the landlord of the Nag's Head pub. Every night, the same guys would turn up, have a few pints of beer, share a conversation and the occasional game of darts or dominoes. At 8pm every night, Ted would receive a visit from one of his other regulars - Champ, a stray dog who always came for a b...

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Raccoons have been named the official mascot of the CoVid19 pandemic:

They frequently wash their paws and ALWAYS wear masks!

Can you name the 3 NFL team's mascots that start with the letter "F"?

The Falcons, the Fourty-Niners and the F***ing Dolphins!

Recent polling of Redditors indicates users prefer Paul Bunyan and his animal companion to the current mascot.

Seems you prefer the blue moo in lieu of the Snoo.

I heard Eddie Vedder hates every insurance mascot out there...

Even Flo.

Apparently German U-boat crews used to have dogs on board as mascots.

They were subwoofers.

Why should you always knock before entering the Hamburger Helper Mascot’s room?

He might beef stroganoff.

What is the name of the TSAs mascot?

Frisky

One man proposed that Geico switch their mascot to a kitten.

"Now, with only 15 minutes, you can save 15 purr-cent on cat insurance"

I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.

I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"

I just found out that the mascot for a famous brand of baked goods overdosed on opiates.

Pills bury doughboy.

During WWII why did every German U-Boat have a dog for a mascot?

So they could have a sub-woofer.

Did you guys hear how boring the annual gathering of reddit mascots turned out?

It really turned into a huge Snoo's fest.

A magician is doing well with his shows on a cruise ship until the Captain buys a parrot as the ships mascot.

From then on every night the magician does any of his tricks the parrot squawks out "He's got a card up his sleeve" or "he had the dove in his pocket" or "there were two pieces of string". Every night the parrot ruins his shows. One night the ship collides with something and all the alarms go off. L...

I think mascots are the hardest roles for actors to play.

They really have to get into their characters.

Can you name the THREE NFL teams where the name of their mascot begins with the letter "F"?

The **F**alcons, the **F**orty Niners and the **F**ucking Patriots!

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Junior Builder....

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She ...

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Just made this up!

My wife works as a rep for a breakfast food company. Last week she went away to a work weekend convention. I could tell something was different when she came home so I checked her phone when she showered.

I found photos of her having sex with the mascots for Coco Pops, Lucky Charms and Frost...

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I dont get why people hate on furries

At the end of the day they're just fucking mascots.

Did you hear about Walmart's new business model?

Walmart bought the rights to Toys-R-Us and is merging with it. They are changing the mascot from a giraffe to a sea mammal, though.

They're gonna call it, Wal-R-Us.

The Washington Redskins are wasting their time with all this business about changing their name.

All they have to do is make their mascot a potato!

Because he can

Clem and Cletus go to a University of Georgia football game and before the game starts the cheerleaders come out with UGA, the real English bulldog mascot. UGA sits on the sideline turf and starts licking his balls. Clem points this out to Cletus and says "I sure wish I could do that" Cletus resp...

Why are so many furries neon?

If they dressed like regular animals, they’d be mistaken for school mascots

Terry Bateman expected to announce Washington Redskins renamed to the Washington Locomotives.

Their mascot will be an engine.

I went to a Syracuse University basketball game. The president showed up.

The secret service got confused and started guarding the mascot.

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Funniest joke I’ve heard all week

I’m in a stock market group on Kik and one of the guys was talking about how he has over 200 holdings in his portfolio and another guy was like “Damn Frank so diverse LGBTQ made him their mascot.” And I couldn’t stop laughing for a good five minutes. I know it’s pretty corny and low effort but I jus...

A minor league baseball pitcher visits the baseball field the day before the big game

Wanting to get a feel for it, he goes alone and sees a horse near the dugout that seems to be wearing the hat and jersey of the opposing team he'll be playing against the next day. Surprised, he laughs and wonders if this is supposed the opposing team's mascot. He approaches the horse to pet it.
...

My local bar had a cat...

My local pub used to have a cat that would sit on the bar. All the regulars loved it. They would pet the cat, drunks would talk to it and it became an unofficial mascot of the bar.
One night just after closing time however, the cat was tragically run over by a truck outside the bar. It got mashe...

Nate the Snake (Long)

There once was an island in the middle of the ocean, shaped somewhat like a dog bone, with two populated ends separated by a long narrow strip of land with a highway connecting the two ends of the island.

Oddly enough, the entire island was held up from sinking into the ocean by a big lever,...

"The Dog Story" from Lewis Grizzard

One of the greatest, "The Dog Story"

>We are playing Auburn. Sanford Stadium. National Television. Winner wins the Southeastern Conference; goes to the Sugar Bowl.
85,000 people jammed into Sanford Stadium. National television audience. This game is on the Armed Service Network. Peopl...

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Pirate joke!

So Long John Silver's was looking for a mascot to sell their fish on T.V and they were looking for a pirate.

So the first audition walks in and he is the perfect pirate! Peg leg, eye patch and hook for a hand, the perfect pirate look.

The interviewer talks to him for a little bit and f...

A bar owner and his dog

There was a bar owner that recently adopted a pet Labrador. The dog instantly became a good friend to the pub regulars and was not long officially made the pub mascot. The mutt became a part of the pub, and everyone who went there was greeted by the licks and unconditional love of the creature.
...

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A man's best friend

A man decides to get a mascot and heads to the pet store. He began to walk up and down the aisles looking at the different animals available but found fault with each. Dogs needed to be walked constantly. Cats are loners. Ferrets smell. Fish are boring. Snakes are, well, snakes. After roaming around...

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My take on a shaggy dog story

A man walks into a bar, orders a pint and sees a sign pinned up above the till - “talking cat, going cheap.”

He calls the barman over and asks him what the deal with the cat is and can he have a look at it. The man shrugs, goes into the back and returns with a mangy old Tom cat.

“Here ...

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