The 82+ Best Clown Jokes

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What does a clown and a pornstar have in common?

They both know how to juggle some serious balls.

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An old man named Steve is walking down the street and sees a clown walking towards him.

"Hey look, a clown!" Steve says. "Do you think you could make me laugh?"

The clown says, "Not now, I'm tired. I want to go home."

"Oh come on!" says Steve. "Show me a magic trick you sissy! Make me feel young again!"

Steve won't quit harassing him, so the clown reluctantly agre...

After watching Finding Nemo, a man runs out to the pet store and buys a clown fish

He brings the fish home and puts it into the tank, but after a few days notices that it doesn't seem at all settled in its new home.

He remembers that in Finding Nemo, the clownfish live in an anemone, so he returns to the pet store and asks the clerk if they have any for sale. The cler...

My dad worked as a clown. When he died I didn’t want to follow his work.

It left big shoes to fill.

Why did the electrical engineer become a clown?

He couldn't get enough of the circuits!

What do clown cars and catholic women have in common?

They like to show how many people can crawl out of them.

What do you call a Clown’s Balls?

Jestercles

What’s the difference between a comedian and a clown?

One leads Ukraine, the other leads Russia.

My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.

I had some pretty big shoes to fill.

I was recently attacked by a group of clowns.

The only way I could defend myself was to go for the juggler.

My 4yo's first real joke: Why did the clown go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling funny!

#prouddadmoment

What clown has killed more children than "It"?

Ronald McDonald.

An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding

The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The clown says "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." The trooper asks the clown "What do you do in the show?" "I'm a juggler" says the clown.

"Alright" says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won...

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The depressed clown, Pagliacci, visits a therapist incognito.

He spends the hour talking about his depression. Nothing seems worth it anymore. He can’t smile at all. He has no wife or girlfriend to share his life with. Children’s smiles don’t make him happy anymore. His loving little dog doesn’t make him happy. He is at the end of his rope.

Therapist: “...

What kind of investments does a clown make?

Laughing stocks!!

A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at night...

"Golly!" says the little boy. "It sure is dark and scary out here!"

"You think you're scared!" says the clown. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."

Where do clowns get their air from

The Bozone layer

How do you take out a group of clowns?

You go straight for the Juggler.

Two cannibals are eating a clown....

One turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?"

Clown Statue

A couple with children were trying out a new babysitter. About an hour after they left for a night on the town, they realized they had forgotten to give her their cell phone number, so one of them called her.

After she wrote down the number, the babysitter asked if she could watch satellite...

A clown, a polar bear, an Irishman, a termite, and a pilot walk into a bar

The bartender says "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

What's the best part about clown college spring break?

Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car

What do clowns fill their cars with?

Laughing gas!

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This has probably been made before, but I just thought of it after my mom, while doing her crossword puzzle, said aloud "fuel for a funny car" and I suggested laughing gas. It wasn't the right answer, unfortunately.

Update, the answer is "Nitro" which i...

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny.

What do you get when you boil a clown?

A laughing stock.

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The day after I ate a clown....

...that was some funny shit.

What did the paranoid clown say to his tax attorney?

Find anything funny?

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I once dated a chick who had a side gig as a clown. [NSFW]

Her pussy always tasted funny.

Did you hear about the clown car that crashed in the middle of nowhere?

There were 30 casualties

What do you call a clown after you've boiled it for 10 hours?

A laughing stock!

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Did you hear about the model that fucked a clown?

It was pretty fucking funny.

Two clowns are eating a cannibal...

One turns to the other and says, "I think we got this joke wrong."

A clown held a door open for me.

It was a nice jester.

What's the difference between a clown and an athletic rabbit?

One is a little bit funny and the other is a little fit bunny

Screw that clown from IT.

Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.

What do you call a big, prejudiced, scary clown?

A big It

Two cannibal clowns are eating Jerry Seinfeld..

One asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

The other replies, "Nah, it's just bland.. maybe a little dry."

How do you make a clown cry?

Break his funny bone.

A bereaved widow goes to view her husband's body in the mortuary....

The mortuary assistant opens the casket, and bows his head solemnly. Upon seeing her husband, the widow starts crying huge tears and wailing loudly. The assistant quickly moves to comfort her.

Still wailing, the widow explains that she can't bear to see her husband wearing a suit. In life he ...

A secretary at the Kremlin is having a cigarette break besides the main entrance.

All of a sudden, the doors fly open and bursting out of the building comes a Russian Army general, muttering to himself:

"That idiotic, delusional, ridiculous old clown of a president! Why doesn't he just do us all a favour and throw himself out of a window?!"

The secretary thought to ...

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A joke written by the AI, ChatGPT

The sky above the port was the color of a moldy jellyfish, a sickly green that made everyone below feel nauseous. But a group of rebellious clowns, led by the hapless hero Isaac Newton, had a plan to bring some joy to the dreary sky. Using a circus tent and a lot of helium, they intended to lift the...

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You hear about that girl that only has sex with clowns?

She’s fucking bonkers.

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Why did the clown take a bunch of laxatives?

For shits and giggles.

You’re going to clown college?

You can’t be serious.

Kitty

A cat walks into a bar and orders coffee. The waiter is speechless and seeing this, the cat asks:

\- Is anything the matter?

\- Well, yeah.. you're a cat.

\- So?

\- You can talk..

\- I fail to see the problem. Please get me my order.

\- Right away, it's just...

Hey, A clown just offered a kid a cigarette.

That's a bad jester.

Two clown cars crash in the middle of nowhere.

Over 50 died.

3 clowns are in a judge's courtroom.

The judge, a little thrown off by the individuals turns to the attractive girl clown and asks,
"Miss, what brings you to my courtroom today?"
The girl clown responds,
"I'm here because I was blowing bubbles!"
The judge, even more confused, turns to the second clown. This one being a very...

I just read about a group of suicide bombers that were dressed like clowns.

It's a really messed up story, but credit where credit's due...at least someone's trying to put the fun back in fundamentalism

My father was the best clown of all time.

When he died, all his friends came to his funeral in one car.

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

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What’s the hardest part about having sex with a clown?

Cleaning the grease paint off your back

Please tag this nsfw I forgot how to.

Cyclists are like clowns

- They dress funny.

- They don't follow any rules.

- If anything bad happens to them, everyone laughs at them.

How many clowns can you fit in a Honda?

One more.

My gf told me that I act like a clown

It was so unexpected and upsetting I stopped juggling and almost fell off my unicycle.

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As told to me by an 85 year old shriner clown.

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?"

Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious."

Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?"

Susie replies "I'm burying my gol...

Wife wants to see the circus

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Yakov's Moscow Circus is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinne...

The other day I was attacked by a gang of clowns

So I went straight for the juggler.

What do you call a drawing of a clown?

A comedy sketch.

All of a sudden, the Marvel, DC, and Image Comics universes merged into one.

In no time at all, the superheroes joined forces and managed to capture all of the villains and throw them in prison with those special de-powering collars they used in Deadpool 2.

Imagine Magneto's frustration as he was led into a cell and locked up behind metal bars, which normally would be...

What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?

This tastes a little funny.

What's a rodeo clown's favorite type of bar?

A honky tonk!

I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns.

It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.

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It's said that guys with big feet have big penises, and guys with big cars have small penises

Now I understand why so many people are afraid pf clowns

The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because...

#1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown

What's the worst part about playing tag with a clown?

When the clown is it.

A blind clown is asked to perform at a children’s hospital. He is led into the amputee ward and begins with some jokes, but not one child laughs.

“A song, perhaps,” he thinks. “That’ll cheer ‘em up!”
“Ifffffff you’re happy and you know it....”

A clown presents the new covid regulations.

Everyone dies laughing.

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A clown, a politian and a sex offender walks into a bar.

He orders a drink.

I've been asked to take over as Chief Clown...

I've got some big shoes to fill.

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My girlfriend likes it when I dress up as scary clown when we have sex

I think she has a Stephen Kink.

A friend of mine, a performing arts student, was recently killed in an accident in Toronto…

He was putting himself through school by working as a birthday clown and he had to take the subway to get around. He was going to his next gig and his floppy shoes caught on his baggy trousers and, since he was a little too close to the edge, he fell in front of the train. We have tried to get the t...

I asked a hitman for advice on how to kill a clown. He told me...

Go for the juggler.

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a redneck

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.

I'm capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

You all have heard about Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.

But have you heard about his father who was Joking.

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

A clown and a little kid were walking hand in hand down a dark deserted forest path and the little kid says "Gosh, it's spooky in here!"

And the clown says "What are you scared about? I gotta walk back all alone!"

A man goes on an overnight business trip, and hires a babysitter to watch his two kids. It's an easy job with good pay, but she's creeped out by the life-sized clown statue he has in his den.

That night, the man calls to see how things are going.

The babysitter says: "Everything's great, the kids have been wonderful. But I had to throw my coat over that clown statue in your den. No offense but it's really creepy."

Horrified, the man replies: "*What?! I don't have a den! Gra...

Death of a clown

Two cannibals came to his funeral. One tried to chew off a piece, and he said that it tasted funny. The other man just stared and remarked, “this is no laughing matter.”

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Timmy just loves clowns. Favourite thing in the world.

He's got clown bed spread, posters in his room, the whole shabang. Totally idolizes them

One day, Timmy sees that the big top circus is coming to town. He gets so excited that, when it finally arrived, he camps outside the ticket booth, waitimg to get the best seat in the house. And when he g...

How do you get a clown off a swing set?

Hit him in the face with an axe.

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