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What does a clown and a pornstar have in common?

They both know how to juggle some serious balls.

What do you get when you boil a clown?

Laughing stock

What do clowns fill their cars with?

Laughing gas!

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This has probably been made before, but I just thought of it after my mom, while doing her crossword puzzle, said aloud "fuel for a funny car" and I suggested laughing gas. It wasn't the right answer, unfortunately.

Update, the answer is "Nitro" which i...

My 4yo's first real joke: Why did the clown go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling funny!

#prouddadmoment

What do you call a drawing of a clown?

A comedy sketch.

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Did you hear about the model that fucked a clown?

It was pretty fucking funny.

Did you hear they invented an automatic pen and paper for clowns?

The joke writes itself

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I dated this mime/clown for a while.

After every argument, the silent treatment was awful, but the make-up sex was incredible.

"Look Dad! The clowns are leaving the circus to go get food!"

"Son how many times do I have to tell you? Those are called *Senators* leaving the *Capitol*"

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My girlfriend likes it when I dress up as scary clown when we have sex

I think she has a Stephen Kink.

What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?

This tastes a little funny.

My father was the best clown of all time.

When he died, all his friends came to his funeral in one car.

Yesterday as I walked into a store, a clown held the door open for me...

I thought it was a nice jester.

A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at 3 am...

The little boy says, "Golly! It sure is dark and scary out here!"

"You think you're scared," says the clown. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone..."

A clown presents the new covid regulations.

Everyone dies laughing.

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a redneck

If you are ever attacked by a group of clowns...

Go for the juggler.

What do you call a clown that saves money by being homeless?

Penny wise

You all have heard about Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.

But have you heard about his father who was Joking.

Old one: why dont cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny.

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.

I'm capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

A baby clown fell down and broke a bone.

The doctor told the baby clown’s father that they broke the bone in between their shoulder and elbow.

The man laughs.

“Why would you laugh!?”

“Its humerus.”

An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding

The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The clown says "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." The trooper asks the clown "What do you do in the show?" "I'm a juggler" says the clown.

"Alright" says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won...

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Two clowns are eating a cannibal

One turns to the other and says, "I think we fucked up this joke"

What's the worst part about playing tag with a clown?

When the clown is it.

Dude, that scary clown followed us to Wales.

Welsh It.

How can you tell if a clown has just farted?

They smell funny!

My father who comes from a long line of clowns just retired and wants me to continue the family legacy.

I've got some big shoes to fill

I think it was totally disrespectful for Joe Biden to call the President of the United States a clown.

As a clown, I'm extremely offended

An 8 year old girl went to work with her father on 'Take your kid to work day'

As they where walking around the office the young girl started to cry. Her father asked what was wrong. As a crowd gathered around her she sobbed ''Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

I was trying to figure out what to do with the dying clown on the floor.

Then, IT hit me.

I don't like that clown from IT.

He's always fooling around and cracking jokes instead of fixing our computers.

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

What do you call a really scary, racist clown?

A big It

Most cutting thing you can say is "Who's this clown?"

because it implies they're:
a) a clown and
b) not even one of the better-known clowns.

What do a clown and someone who snores have in common?

Honk Shoe.... Honk Shoe..... Honk Shoe....

Daddy, can we go see the clowns again?

For the last time, Billy, we are not visiting congress again.

What clown has killed more children than "It"?

Ronald McDonald.

My friend asked me if I believe in killer clowns

I replied, "No doubt about IT"

Been think of opening a clown brothel,

Gonna call it “the funny bone.”

Last night on the episode of "Criminal Minds" my wife was watching, the cops arrested a clown.

As a Dad of long standing, I'm happy to have seized the opportunity to yell "Don't try anything funny!"

My friend asked me, "What kind of adult diapers do they sell for Pennywise the Clown?"

It depends.

What does a clown living in a sewer and a person working in technical support have in common?

They both are from IT

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If makeup sex is supposed to be the best sex..

.. then clowns must be having a f*cking wild time.

How do you make a Clown cry

You throw a brick at it

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Why did the girl start giggling after giving a blowjob to a clown?

Because she thought it tasted funny.

A blind clown is asked to perform at a children’s hospital. He is led into the amputee ward and begins with some jokes, but not one child laughs.

“A song, perhaps,” he thinks. “That’ll cheer ‘em up!”
“Ifffffff you’re happy and you know it....”

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Why is it hard for clowns to get a blowjob?

Cuz they taste funny.

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

A clown and a little kid were walking hand in hand down a dark deserted forest path and the little kid says "Gosh, it's spooky in here!"

And the clown says "What are you scared about? I gotta walk back all alone!"

How do clowns measure their money?

Pennywise.

I asked a hitman for advice on how to kill a clown. He told me...

Go for the juggler.

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If big feet means big dick and big car means small dick...

Then no wonder people are so scared of clowns.

A clown and another guy are walking through the forest at night.

The guy says to the clown "Man, this forest is really creepy at night". The clown says "No kidding, and I have to walk all the way back by myself."

A man goes on an overnight business trip, and hires a babysitter to watch his two kids. It's an easy job with good pay, but she's creeped out by the life-sized clown statue he has in his den.

That night, the man calls to see how things are going.

The babysitter says: "Everything's great, the kids have been wonderful. But I had to throw my coat over that clown statue in your den. No offense but it's really creepy."

Horrified, the man replies: "*What?! I don't have a den! Gra...

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My 80 yr-old uncle was caught planting secret listening devices in a hotel room while wearing a clown costume.

What a silly old bugger.

A clown goes crazy and starts murdering everybody with a cast-iron skillet.

Don't get the joke? It's deadpan humor.

Why did the clown not show up to work?

He was feeling a little bit funny.

I got a handjob by a Clown once.

It really tickled my funnybone

For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...

It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.

My neighbour is a clown for childrens parties. Evertime I turn my back to get ready for bed, he sneaks into my house in full costume and starts banging my wife. I can see them, in the mirror, going at it while I'm brushing my teeth.

They keep on telling me that I'll look back and laugh at it one day.

What do you call a demon clown that is good with small amounts of money?

Pennywise.

Joseph Stalin is in a movie theatre with his fellow party members attending a premiere of a Soviet comedy movie.

He laughs and grins throughout the film, but after it ends he says, "Well, I liked the comedy. But that clown had a moustache just like mine. Shoot him."

Everyone is speechless, until someone sheepishly suggests, "Comrade Stalin, maybe the actor shaves off his moustache?"

Stalin replie...

What do you call a phobia of a clown wielding a chainsaw running straight at you?

Common sense

Last night my wife asked me if I wanted to dress up as a clown, hide in the drains and scare her

but I didn't really feel like It.

A clown who's job is going to parties and make all kind of balloons..

Is that considered a blow-job?

I saw a clown with suit and case running into an allyway

I think there was some funny business going on there.

You're walking through the woods late at night, and come across a group of killer clowns. What's the best move to keep yourself alive?

Go for the juggler.

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Timmy just loves clowns. Favourite thing in the world.

He's got clown bed spread, posters in his room, the whole shabang. Totally idolizes them

One day, Timmy sees that the big top circus is coming to town. He gets so excited that, when it finally arrived, he camps outside the ticket booth, waitimg to get the best seat in the house. And when he g...

What did sideshow Bob work as after he got fired from being a clown?

A bartender

I'm inviting everyone reading this, to join me in a session to think about Stephen King's iconic shape-shifting clown.

Come to think of it.

The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because...

#1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown

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As told to me by an 85 year old shriner clown.

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?"

Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious."

Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?"

Susie replies "I'm burying my gol...

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I used to think that clowns doing the 1930’s cream pie gag was hilarious

Until I realized that I too have also been creampied by clowns

Why did the clown through his clock out the window.

Because he wanted to see time fly.

What is the name of the city ruled by clowns?

Honk-honk

How do you get a clown off a swing set?

Hit him in the face with an axe.

The IT department at my work is full of clowns.

Bloody dancing clowns.

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