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What does a clown and a pornstar have in common?

They both know how to juggle some serious balls.

So these three clowns were eating a cannibal.

One of them said "I think we started this joke wrong."

An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding

The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The clown says "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." The trooper asks the clown "What do you do in the show?" "I'm a juggler" says the clown.

"Alright" says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won...

How many clowns can you fit in a Honda?

One more.

What do you call a frugal clown?

Pennywise

The other day I was attacked by a gang of clowns

So I went straight for the juggler.

My wife dated a clown before we started going out.

I had some big shoes to fill.

My gf told me that I act like a clown

It was so unexpected and upsetting I stopped juggling and almost fell off my unicycle.

Where do clowns go to run?

*laughtrack*

Two clown cars crash in the middle of nowhere.

Over 50 died.

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I bought a clown themed toilet

For shits and giggles

You’re going to clown college?

You can’t be serious.

What do you get when you boil a clown?

Laughing stock

My 4yo's first real joke: Why did the clown go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling funny!

#prouddadmoment

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

What's a rodeo clown's favorite type of bar?

A honky tonk!

Yesterday as I walked into a store, a clown held the door open for me...

I thought it was a nice jester.

I just read about a group of suicide bombers that were dressed like clowns.

It's a really messed up story, but credit where credit's due...at least someone's trying to put the fun back in fundamentalism

what did the shark said when he ate the clownfish

this tastes a bit funny

What do clowns fill their cars with?

Laughing gas!

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This has probably been made before, but I just thought of it after my mom, while doing her crossword puzzle, said aloud "fuel for a funny car" and I suggested laughing gas. It wasn't the right answer, unfortunately.

Update, the answer is "Nitro" which i...

My father was the best clown of all time.

When he died, all his friends came to his funeral in one car.

3 clowns are in a judge's courtroom.

The judge, a little thrown off by the individuals turns to the attractive girl clown and asks,
"Miss, what brings you to my courtroom today?"
The girl clown responds,
"I'm here because I was blowing bubbles!"
The judge, even more confused, turns to the second clown. This one being a very...

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Did you hear about the model that fucked a clown?

It was pretty fucking funny.

Some cyclists are like clowns

- They dress funny.

- They don't follow any rules.

- If anything bad happens to them, everyone laughs at them.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, t...

What’s the difference between a homeless clown and a scary clown?

One is penniless and the other is Pennywise.

A guy took his small daughter with him to work one day...

After he introduced all the other employees to her she began to cry. He asked her what the matter was and she said, "You told Mom that you work with a bunch of clowns. Where are they?"

What clown has killed more children than "It"?

Ronald McDonald.

A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at 3 am...

The little boy says, "Golly! It sure is dark and scary out here!"

"You think you're scared," says the clown. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone..."

What do you call a drawing of a clown?

A comedy sketch.

I've been asked to take over as Chief Clown...

I've got some big shoes to fill.

A clown presents the new covid regulations.

Everyone dies laughing.

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I dated this mime/clown for a while.

After every argument, the silent treatment was awful, but the make-up sex was incredible.

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My girlfriend likes it when I dress up as scary clown when we have sex

I think she has a Stephen Kink.

Dude, that scary clown followed us to Wales.

Welsh It.

Did you hear they invented an automatic pen and paper for clowns?

The joke writes itself

"Look Dad! The clowns are leaving the circus to go get food!"

"Son how many times do I have to tell you? Those are called *Senators* leaving the *Capitol*"

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Maybe repost, but it is a fabulous joke so I'll risk it. (Long, and works better when spoken)

A man is waking up in the morning, when he reads in the newspaper that the circus is coming to town. So he decides to go and see. He gets into his seat and the show starts. He watches the lions, the elephants, the tight rope walkers, and at the end there's a clown insulting people in the audience. T...

What do you call a clown that saves money by being homeless?

Penny wise

What's the worst part about playing tag with a clown?

When the clown is it.

I took my daughter to my office for, "Bring your kid to work day". BIG MISTAKE!

After meeting everyone she started getting cranky and began to cry. As everyone gathered around to try to console her, she looked at me and in a loud voice complained, "Where are all the clowns you tell me & mommy you work with everyday?"

A baby clown fell down and broke a bone.

The doctor told the baby clown’s father that they broke the bone in between their shoulder and elbow.

The man laughs.

“Why would you laugh!?”

“Its humerus.”

My father who comes from a long line of clowns just retired and wants me to continue the family legacy.

I've got some big shoes to fill

I don't like that clown from IT.

He's always fooling around and cracking jokes instead of fixing our computers.

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.

I'm capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

What do you call a really scary, racist clown?

A big It

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a redneck

How can you tell if a clown has just farted?

They smell funny!

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

You all have heard about Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.

But have you heard about his father who was Joking.

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

What do a clown and someone who snores have in common?

Honk Shoe.... Honk Shoe..... Honk Shoe....

Wanna hear a clean joke?

I blew bubbles in the bathtub. Wanna hear the dirty version? Bubbles was a clown.

A blind clown is asked to perform at a children’s hospital. He is led into the amputee ward and begins with some jokes, but not one child laughs.

“A song, perhaps,” he thinks. “That’ll cheer ‘em up!”
“Ifffffff you’re happy and you know it....”

Daddy, can we go see the clowns again?

For the last time, Billy, we are not visiting congress again.

I was trying to figure out what to do with the dying clown on the floor.

Then, IT hit me.

Death of a clown

Two cannibals came to his funeral. One tried to chew off a piece, and he said that it tasted funny. The other man just stared and remarked, “this is no laughing matter.”

A man goes on an overnight business trip, and hires a babysitter to watch his two kids. It's an easy job with good pay, but she's creeped out by the life-sized clown statue he has in his den.

That night, the man calls to see how things are going.

The babysitter says: "Everything's great, the kids have been wonderful. But I had to throw my coat over that clown statue in your den. No offense but it's really creepy."

Horrified, the man replies: "*What?! I don't have a den! Gra...

My friend asked me if I believe in killer clowns

I replied, "No doubt about IT"

My friend asked me, "What kind of adult diapers do they sell for Pennywise the Clown?"

It depends.

Last night on the episode of "Criminal Minds" my wife was watching, the cops arrested a clown.

As a Dad of long standing, I'm happy to have seized the opportunity to yell "Don't try anything funny!"

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Update on an Ironic Classic

A man goes to the doctor, says he's depressed, says life seems harsh, heartless and cruel. He's all alone in a threatening world, and what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick you up." Man bur...

I asked a hitman for advice on how to kill a clown. He told me...

Go for the juggler.

What does a clown living in a sewer and a person working in technical support have in common?

They both are from IT

How do you make a Clown cry

You throw a brick at it

How do clowns measure their money?

Pennywise.

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As told to me by an 85 year old shriner clown.

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?"

Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious."

Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?"

Susie replies "I'm burying my gol...

A clown and a little kid were walking hand in hand down a dark deserted forest path and the little kid says "Gosh, it's spooky in here!"

And the clown says "What are you scared about? I gotta walk back all alone!"

The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because...

#1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown

What do you call a demon clown that is good with small amounts of money?

Pennywise.

For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...

It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.

A clown and another guy are walking through the forest at night.

The guy says to the clown "Man, this forest is really creepy at night". The clown says "No kidding, and I have to walk all the way back by myself."

An 8 year old girl went to work with her father on 'Take your kid to work day'

As they where walking around the office the young girl started to cry. Her father asked what was wrong. As a crowd gathered around her she sobbed ''Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

Been think of opening a clown brothel,

Gonna call it “the funny bone.”

Finally watching One Piece and just saw tiny Buggy the Clown get spit out by a bird that tried to eat him.

I guess he tasted funny.

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My 80 yr-old uncle was caught planting secret listening devices in a hotel room while wearing a clown costume.

What a silly old bugger.

A clown goes crazy and starts murdering everybody with a cast-iron skillet.

Don't get the joke? It's deadpan humor.

I got a handjob by a Clown once.

It really tickled my funnybone

Had a clown for my son's birthday yesterday.

Tasted funny.

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Timmy just loves clowns. Favourite thing in the world.

He's got clown bed spread, posters in his room, the whole shabang. Totally idolizes them

One day, Timmy sees that the big top circus is coming to town. He gets so excited that, when it finally arrived, he camps outside the ticket booth, waitimg to get the best seat in the house. And when he g...

What did sideshow Bob work as after he got fired from being a clown?

A bartender

I'm inviting everyone reading this, to join me in a session to think about Stephen King's iconic shape-shifting clown.

Come to think of it.

How do you get a clown off a swing set?

Hit him in the face with an axe.

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