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Clown Jokes

What clown has killed more children than "It"?

Ronald McDonald.

My 4yo's first real joke: Why did the clown go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling funny!

#prouddadmoment

Screw that clown from IT.

Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.

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An old man named Steve is walking down the street and sees a clown walking towards him.

"Hey look, a clown!" Steve says. "Do you think you could make me laugh?"

The clown says, "Not now, I'm tired. I want to go home."

"Oh come on!" says Steve. "Show me a magic trick you sissy! Make me feel young again!"

Steve won't quit harassing him, so the clown reluctantly agre...

An Oklahoma State Trooper pulls over a circus clown for speeding

The trooper asks the clown "Why were you driving so fast?" The clown says "I'm headed to Tulsa for a circus show and I don't want to be late." The trooper asks the clown "What do you do in the show?" "I'm a juggler" says the clown.

"Alright" says the trooper, "If you juggle for me here, I won...

After watching Finding Nemo, a man runs out to the pet store and buys a clown fish

He brings the fish home and puts it into the tank, but after a few days notices that it doesn't seem at all settled in its new home.


He remembers that in Finding Nemo, the clownfish live in an anemone, so he returns to the pet store and asks the clerk if they have any for sale. The cler...

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As told to me by an 85 year old shriner clown.

Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?"

Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious."

Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?"

Susie replies "I'm burying my gol...

My wife dated a professional clown before she and I got together.

I has…some pretty big shoes to fill.

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The depressed clown, Pagliacci, visits a therapist incognito.

He spends the hour talking about his depression. Nothing seems worth it anymore. He can’t smile at all. He has no wife or girlfriend to share his life with. Children’s smiles don’t make him happy anymore. His loving little dog doesn’t make him happy. He is at the end of his rope.

Therapist: “...

Nobody was scared when the clown invasion started at the beach

”I mean, it’s just one boat” they said. ”How bad can it be?”.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me.

It was such a nice jester!

Where does a Viking clown go when they die?

To ValHaHa.

Two cannibals are eating a clown

One says to the other 'does this taste funny to you?'

Ever hear the joke about the deaf clown?

Neither did the clown

A little girl and a clown are walking in the woods. The little girl says, "I'm scared". The clown replies, "You're scared? I have to walk out of here alone!"

The clown was dropping her off at her Grandma's house. Why, what were you thinking?

What do you get when you boil a clown?

A laughing stock.

My dad worked as a clown. When he died I didn’t want to follow his work.

It left big shoes to fill.

What do you call a Clown’s Balls?

Jestercles

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

Two clowns are eating a cannibal...

One turns to the other and says, "I think we got this joke wrong."

What happens when a clown retires?

I don't know, but it's safe to say whoever's gonna replace him has big shoes to fill.

Have you guys seen that clown that hides from disappointing people?

Nah, me neither

I just lost my job as a clown, so I'm selling my car...

It's a bargain: one owner, 11000 miles, seats 26

Why did the electrical engineer become a clown?

He couldn't get enough of the circuits!

The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because...

#1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown

I hit a clown car once. I faced 10 counts of manslaughter.

Damn autocorrect. I meant man's laughter. Everyone was fine.

What do clown cars and catholic women have in common?

They like to show how many people can crawl out of them.

What kind of investments does a clown make?

Laughing stocks!!

What’s the difference between a comedian and a clown?

One leads Ukraine, the other leads Russia.

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Did you hear about the model that fucked a clown?

It was pretty fucking funny.

What’s the difference between the Capitol building and a clown car?

A clown car is smaller and has wheels.

Clown Statue

A couple with children were trying out a new babysitter. About an hour after they left for a night on the town, they realized they had forgotten to give her their cell phone number, so one of them called her.

After she wrote down the number, the babysitter asked if she could watch satellite...

A blind clown is asked to perform at a children’s hospital. He is led into the amputee ward and begins with some jokes, but not one child laughs.

“A song, perhaps,” he thinks. “That’ll cheer ‘em up!”
“Ifffffff you’re happy and you know it....”

What's the best part about clown college spring break?

Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car

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A clown, a politian and a sex offender walks into a bar.

He orders a drink.

My father was the best clown of all time.

When he died, all his friends came to his funeral in one car.

did you hear about stephen king's book about a killer clown?

he made it.

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I once dated a chick who had a side gig as a clown. [NSFW]

Her pussy always tasted funny.

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The day after I ate a clown....

...that was some funny shit.

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed clown on a tricycle?

Attire

A clown, a polar bear, an Irishman, a termite, and a pilot walk into a bar

The bartender says "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

What's the difference between a clown and an athletic rabbit?

One is a little bit funny and the other is a little fit bunny

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Why did the clown take a bunch of laxatives?

For shits and giggles.

What do you call a big, prejudiced, scary clown?

A big It

What did the paranoid clown say to his tax attorney?

Find anything funny?

Did you hear about the clown car that crashed in the middle of nowhere?

There were 30 casualties

What do you call a clown after you've boiled it for 10 hours?

A laughing stock!

How do you make a clown cry?

Break his funny bone.

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The Clown Joke

**Preface** - *I did not write this joke, but it has been my favorite for twenty years and remains the only long joke that I ever bother reciting irl. I hope you enjoy it:).*

"Johnny and the Clown"

Johnny is poor and has been all his life. He doesn't mind it much, except for the fact t...

What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?

This tastes a little funny.

Dude, that scary clown followed us to Wales.

Welsh It.

Fifty clowns got fired from the circus.

Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.

Zombie Clowns

If you are attacked by a pack of ravenous zombie Clowns.. go for the juggler.

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What’s the hardest part about having sex with a clown?

Cleaning the grease paint off your back

Please tag this nsfw I forgot how to.

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

You throw an axe at his face.

What did Who the clown use as his clown horn?

Who nose?

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

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