What do you call two ninjas?

A pair of sneakers!

Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates?

They always destroy the shredder.

I typed “ninjas” into thesaurus.com. It said “ninjas cannot be found.”

Well played ninjas, well played.

Ninja 1: Hey bud, could you throw me that little metal star?

Ninja 2: Shuriken

So, I went to a ninja parade

It was a complete rip off. I didn't see a damn thing, but I kept finding candy in my pockets.

I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood

But just ended up with a load of Splinters.

The Ninja Turtles went to a store to buy new weapons. Everyone got what they needed except for Raphael

They didn't have his sai's.

Farts are like ninjas because…

They’re sneaky, they’re dangerous, and if you see one, something has gone terribly wrong.

What weapon does a Catholic ninja use?

Nunchucks.

Mr. T set the ninja turtles up on a blind date.

Mr. T: Here's your girl.

Ninja Turtles: who is she?

Mr T: Its April, fools.





Also, I'm sorry.

My girlfriend is kind of like a ninja attack..

They're two things I'll never see coming.


(I've never been so proud of myself for writing a joke)

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I love how the ninja turtles wear masks

Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something

What do you call ninjas with red hair?

Ginjas....

How does a nonbinary ninja kill people?

They slash Them.

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I once went to visit Japan and I haven't seen a single ninja.

Impressive.

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My wife is a sex ninja

I never hear her coming.

How many ninjas does it take to change a light....

OH! It changed

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Did you hear about the premature ejaculator that is training to become a ninja?

Guys a natural, comes out of nowhere.

What's the difference between a ginger and a ninja?

One's a soulless killing machine. The other is a highly trained martial artist.

How do non-binary ninjas kill people?

They/them

The ninja master asked a student if they thought they could handle the next challenge.

The disciple answered, shuriken!

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What do you call someone who runs like Naruto ninja?

A virgin.

What do you call a Jedi ninja?

Obi-Wan Shinobi

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “you’re underage. Get the hell out of here.”

What happens when you mess up at ninja church?

The nun chucks you out

Did you hear about the Ninja that couldn't trust anyone?

He always had a sneaking suspicion.

Can A Ninja Throw Stars?

Sure He Can!

The ninja turtles and master splinter were found dead in their lair...

The police ruled the deaths as sewer-cides.

Three ninjas walked into a bar

but you would never know.

What's a Ninja's favorite drink?

Wa-thaaa!

I didn't see you at Ninja school today

Nice work

What is a ninjas favourite drink?

WA-TAAAAHHH

Why do you never see a fat ninja?

Because fat ninjas are the best ninjas.

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My girlfriend said she was looking at ninja stars online. I told her to stop being racist.

They're just called Japanese actors.

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My sexual partners are like ninjas...

You will never see the coming

A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into an Irish bar.



The bartender says, “Good to see you two!”

What shoes do ninjas wear (dad joke N°1)

Sneakers

What’s the Ninja Turtles favorite brand of saki?

Oroku, because it shreds.

Can a ninja really wield a star?

Shuriken

What did the ninja say when asked if he can kill a man with ninja stars?

Shuriken

Why are ninja farts so dangerous?

Because they are silent but deadly.

My 6 year old little bro always tells me this one. What do you call ninja farts?

Silent but deadly

A ninja is getting ready to fight a samurai

The ninjas friend asks him "do you really think you can kill him without a sword?"

"Sure-i-can"

Shredder finally defeated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

All he had to do is to throw a box of plastic straws to the sewer system.

Two ninjas are talking on a rooftop

Ninja 1: Hey can you show me your Throwing Star skills?

Ninja 2: Shuriken

What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon?

The element of supplies

Everyone in the senior class of ninja school was marked absent today.

They all got an A+

How would you describe a ninja who is always critical about their own abilities?

Stealth-deprecating.

What do you call a red headed ninja?

A Ginja

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There was a ninja who attacked people with high-powered semen.

No one would ever see him coming.

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Why do frat boys think their girls are ninjas?

They never hear them cumming.

Once upon a time, I told a ninja nun a joke...

The nun chuckled.

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Did you know that every country in the world has Ninjas?

We only hear about the ones from Japan because they're not as good at their job.

A Ninja was on a Mission

A ninja was on a very sneaky assassination mission. As he crept through the compound and avoided detection, he finally laid eyes on his target. As sort of a tradition, the ninja would always whisper to his weapons before going in for the kill. As he prepared to kill the target, the ninja equipped a ...

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Japanese ninjas were historically required to wrap any gifts in the same cloth they used to cover their faces

They had to mask their presents

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What was the Ninja Turtles’ policy regarding homosexuality?

Don’t ask Donatello

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Why do most people fail ninja school?

Because they show up to class.

What fashionable shoes do ninjas wear to the anesthesiologist?

Numb Chucks.

My ex and I used to have a ninja fetish

But then we stopped seeing each other.

What is a ninjas favorite section at the book store?

Stealth Help

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Maybe every nation has ninjas

And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst

To celebrate their 10th anniversary, Fruit Ninja decides to host a live event.

They decide to commission for an arcade style game/exhibition to be made where the visitors can pick up physical weapons at each of the fruit stations and hit the designated fruit with them. After they hit the fruit the computer would display their score and play a congratulatory tune if they got ab...

Why do the Ninja Turtles attack Shredder 4 on 1?

Because their master is a rat.

We've never seen an actual ninja win American Ninja Warrior.

But that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

What did the claustrophobic ninja do when he fell down a well?

He flipped out

Two ninjas watch an enemy approach. The first ninja nudges the other and says, "he can't cross without being attacked, can he?" The other ninja, stretches and yawns, and replies

"shuriken."

Joke from my 7 year old cousin - Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

You're the best ninja I've ever seen!

And the worst ninja in general.

I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have.

He said, "shuriken."

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A soldier, a ninja, and a cowboy

Are flying over a city in a helicopter getting ready to land after a long battle, all three are sitting in silence until the ninja pulls out a throwing star and tosses it out of the chopper.

The soldier looks at him funny and asks why he did that. The ninja replies, "it is a time honored tra...

Can a ninja aim precisely?

surehecan

A Pirate, Rabbi, Ninja, and Giraffe walk into a bar together.

The bartender looks at all of them and asks out loud, "What is this? A joke?!"

What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries?

Donutello

I would have graduated from Ninja School

But nobody knew I was in the class

Did you know the ninjas have gotten together and formed a union?

They strike from the shadows.

So a ninja walks into a bar.

He sits at the counter and asks for a drink.

The bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve your kind here. “

The ninja says, “what do you mean? I demand a drink! Let me speak to your manager.”

The manager comes out and asks what the problem is. The ninja explains his outrage.
<...

Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries?

Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.

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Sam Loved Ninjas

Little Sam loved ninjas. He'd think about them all day and watch ninja movies all night.

He had a ninja costume, throwing stars, the whole shebang.

One day he's playing around and whacks himself in the eye with a nunchuck, he runs downstairs to his mum bawling "Mummy mummy mummy look...

I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.

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Being caught masturbating at ninja school means instant expulsion.

They should never see you coming.

A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says

...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.

Ninja goes to the doctor ...

Doctor says "I have good news and bad news."

Ninja says "Hmm. Ok, give me the bad news first."

Doctor says "We've run the tests and you're impotent."

Ninja gasps and says "Dammit! How will I pass on my legacy of stealth and subterfuge?!? How can there possibly be good news in th...

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