What do you call two ninjas?

A pair of sneakers!

Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates?

They always destroy the shredder.

I typed “ninjas” into thesaurus.com. It said “ninjas cannot be found.”

Well played ninjas, well played.

Ninja 1: Hey bud, could you throw me that little metal star?

Ninja 2: Shuriken

So, I went to a ninja parade

It was a complete rip off. I didn't see a damn thing, but I kept finding candy in my pockets.

I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood

But just ended up with a load of Splinters.

The Ninja Turtles went to a store to buy new weapons. Everyone got what they needed except for Raphael

They didn't have his sai's.

How many ninjas does it take to change a light....

OH! It changed

Mr. T set the ninja turtles up on a blind date.

Mr. T: Here's your girl.

Ninja Turtles: who is she?

Mr T: Its April, fools.





Also, I'm sorry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the premature ejaculator that is training to become a ninja?

Guys a natural, comes out of nowhere.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love how the ninja turtles wear masks

Great way to hide your identity, it's not like you're a giant fucking turtle or something

What do you call ninjas with red hair?

Ginjas....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once went to visit Japan and I haven't seen a single ninja.

Impressive.

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What do you call someone who runs like Naruto ninja?

A virgin.

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “you’re underage. Get the hell out of here.”

Did you hear about the Ninja that couldn't trust anyone?

He always had a sneaking suspicion.

Can A Ninja Throw Stars?

Sure He Can!

The ninja turtles and master splinter were found dead in their lair...

The police ruled the deaths as sewer-cides.

What's a Ninja's favorite drink?

Wa-thaaa!

What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon?

The element of supplies

My girlfriend is kind of like a ninja attack..

They're two things I'll never see coming.


(I've never been so proud of myself for writing a joke)

What's the difference between a ginger and a ninja?

One's a soulless killing machine. The other is a highly trained martial artist.

Why do you never see a fat ninja?

Because fat ninjas are the best ninjas.

What happens when you mess up at ninja church?

The nun chucks you out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is a sex ninja

I never hear her coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend said she was looking at ninja stars online. I told her to stop being racist.

They're just called Japanese actors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sexual partners are like ninjas...

You will never see the coming

if i brought a katana into a hospital it wouldnt be fruit ninja

it would be vegetable ninja

A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into an Irish bar.



The bartender says, “Good to see you two!”

What shoes do ninjas wear (dad joke N°1)

Sneakers

Why are ninja farts so dangerous?

Because they are silent but deadly.

My 6 year old little bro always tells me this one. What do you call ninja farts?

Silent but deadly

Three ninjas walked into a bar

but you would never know.

A ninja is getting ready to fight a samurai

The ninjas friend asks him "do you really think you can kill him without a sword?"

"Sure-i-can"

Shredder finally defeated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

All he had to do is to throw a box of plastic straws to the sewer system.

I didn't see you at Ninja school today

Nice work

Two ninjas are talking on a rooftop

Ninja 1: Hey can you show me your Throwing Star skills?

Ninja 2: Shuriken

What’s the Ninja Turtles favorite brand of saki?

Oroku, because it shreds.

Can a ninja really wield a star?

Shuriken

What's a ninja's favourite element?

The element of surprise.

What did the ninja say when asked if he can kill a man with ninja stars?

Shuriken

How would you describe a ninja who is always critical about their own abilities?

Stealth-deprecating.

Everyone in the senior class of ninja school was marked absent today.

They all got an A+

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a ninja who attacked people with high-powered semen.

No one would ever see him coming.

Once upon a time, I told a ninja nun a joke...

The nun chuckled.

Can a Ninja attack you from long distance?

shuriken!!!!

A Ninja was on a Mission

A ninja was on a very sneaky assassination mission. As he crept through the compound and avoided detection, he finally laid eyes on his target. As sort of a tradition, the ninja would always whisper to his weapons before going in for the kill. As he prepared to kill the target, the ninja equipped a ...

What do you call a red headed ninja?

A Ginja

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do frat boys think their girls are ninjas?

They never hear them cumming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that every country in the world has Ninjas?

We only hear about the ones from Japan because they're not as good at their job.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese ninjas were historically required to wrap any gifts in the same cloth they used to cover their faces

They had to mask their presents

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What was the Ninja Turtles’ policy regarding homosexuality?

Don’t ask Donatello

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do most people fail ninja school?

Because they show up to class.

My ex and I used to have a ninja fetish

But then we stopped seeing each other.

What is a ninjas favorite section at the book store?

Stealth Help

What fashionable shoes do ninjas wear to the anesthesiologist?

Numb Chucks.

To celebrate their 10th anniversary, Fruit Ninja decides to host a live event.

They decide to commission for an arcade style game/exhibition to be made where the visitors can pick up physical weapons at each of the fruit stations and hit the designated fruit with them. After they hit the fruit the computer would display their score and play a congratulatory tune if they got ab...

Why do the Ninja Turtles attack Shredder 4 on 1?

Because their master is a rat.

We've never seen an actual ninja win American Ninja Warrior.

But that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

What did the claustrophobic ninja do when he fell down a well?

He flipped out

Two ninjas watch an enemy approach. The first ninja nudges the other and says, "he can't cross without being attacked, can he?" The other ninja, stretches and yawns, and replies

"shuriken."

You're the best ninja I've ever seen!

And the worst ninja in general.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Maybe every nation has ninjas

And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst

So a ninja walks into a bar.

He sits at the counter and asks for a drink.

The bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve your kind here. “

The ninja says, “what do you mean? I demand a drink! Let me speak to your manager.”

The manager comes out and asks what the problem is. The ninja explains his outrage.
<...

A Pirate, Rabbi, Ninja, and Giraffe walk into a bar together.

The bartender looks at all of them and asks out loud, "What is this? A joke?!"

Joke from my 7 year old cousin - Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

I would have graduated from Ninja School

But nobody knew I was in the class

Did you know the ninjas have gotten together and formed a union?

They strike from the shadows.

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A soldier, a ninja, and a cowboy

Are flying over a city in a helicopter getting ready to land after a long battle, all three are sitting in silence until the ninja pulls out a throwing star and tosses it out of the chopper.

The soldier looks at him funny and asks why he did that. The ninja replies, "it is a time honored tra...

I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have.

He said, "shuriken."

Can a ninja aim precisely?

surehecan

Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries?

Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.

What do you call a ninja turtle with an addiction to pastries?

Donutello

So, what do you do? - I'm a supervillain

What's your name? - Autocorrector.

— HAHAHA! Are you Sirius?
What's your super powder? Wait a minion... what the help is happy ninja to me? PLEATS MAKE IT DUCKING STOP!

What do ninjas drink?

WATAAA!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sam Loved Ninjas

Little Sam loved ninjas. He'd think about them all day and watch ninja movies all night.

He had a ninja costume, throwing stars, the whole shebang.

One day he's playing around and whacks himself in the eye with a nunchuck, he runs downstairs to his mum bawling "Mummy mummy mummy look...

I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.

What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Being caught masturbating at ninja school means instant expulsion.

They should never see you coming.

Two ninjas were having an argument

Two ninjas were arguing over which one was the better ninja.

The first says, "Man, you can't even throw a ninja star."

The second ninja says, "Shuriken."

I realized placing a long umbrella on my back does not make me like a ninja samurai...

But more like a Teletubbies.

What's a German Ninja drink beer out of?

A clandestein.

A priest, a nun, a giraffe, a telepathic unicorn, 21 pilots, Pennywise the clown, a ninja and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender, struggling to open the champagne, says

...yeah I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We were watching the Megan Fox Ninja Turtle movie with my son.

And my wife says, "There seems to be a lot of girls hanging from things in this."
I replied, "It's the classic damsel in distress storytelling." Then I whispered, "Plus girls never let go of shit."
We both laughed and she gave me permission to share it.

Ninja goes to the doctor ...

Doctor says "I have good news and bad news."

Ninja says "Hmm. Ok, give me the bad news first."

Doctor says "We've run the tests and you're impotent."

Ninja gasps and says "Dammit! How will I pass on my legacy of stealth and subterfuge?!? How can there possibly be good news in th...

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