UPJOKE
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Why did Russia choose “Z” as their pro-war logo?

Because everyone who doesn’t agree with Putin is a “not-Z”!

I love Netflix's audio logo

It's the best part of most of their original content.

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A man is alone in an airport lounge…

A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty stewardess.

Because her jacket is folded neatly beside her he can’t see any logos so he decides to have a go a...

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Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

Reddit's logo should be a bit more green.

To symbolize the amount of reused and recycled content.

A business owner posted an ad on classifieds looking for logo designers...

The ad said: "Looking for a talented youth that can design an attractive logo. As I am a small business owner, the work is unpaid. You will be working for exposure."

A recently graduated graphic designer reads this ad. As he was unemployed and struggling to find a job, he thought that he woul...

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The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

The Washington Redskins just officially announced they are retiring their team name and logo.

The new team name is going to be the Washington Engines.

I decided to make a new logo for /r/jokes

♻️ you like it?

I just realized the sub’s logo is a microphone.

There’s no joke. Just wanted to let you know.

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Well done to McDonald's for marking International Women's Day by turning their logo upside down...

It looks just like a big dangly pair of tits...

Another farmer asked me why I had branded my bull with the Apple logo.

I replied "to stop it from charging".

How do you milk a sheep?

Put an apple logo on it.

It's so unfair that McDonalds turned their logo into a W for women's day

It's not like it they made it an M on men's day.

I printed out this website's logo and then I realised I didn't need it. Should I throw out the piece of paper or should I...

Shreddit

What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos?

An Aristotalitarian Regime.

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Teamster jokes

Why is there a horse on the Teamster logo?
It's the only animal that sleeps standing up.

What do Teamster's kide do at the playground do?
Sit on folding chairs and watch other kids play.

What do you call a Teamster in a 3 piece suit?
Defendant

Two teamsters are standing...

TIL The New Jersey Devils have never changed their logo or uniform design/colours.

No new New Jersey jersey.

The company that makes the Opera browser have asked Sir Patrick Stewart to redesign their logo

They want him to make its O.

So I've been thinkin of opening a christian based Fromagerie,

I even picked out a logo. Jesus Cheesus. Our Grate Lord and Savior

When I was a boy, sometime in the mid-90s, I had absolutely zero friends. My concerned mother brought in the neighbor kids for a dreaded 'play date'..

It started out just awful. Everyone ignored me and horsed around. Once they started trying to wreck my moms furniture, I had to take out my secret weapon.

My dad had scored an early VHS release of the last years most popular movie. I could have been the only one in the country with this mo...

Bored at work so I wrote my first joke. It’s extremely dumb but maybe it’ll make someone laugh.

An extremely wealthy family owned countless successful companies, bought out competitors and even purchased new ventures if they looked promising enough. Nothing was too big or small, and nothing was off limits.

The family consisted of a mother (Linda), father (Robert) and 3 sons (Robert Jr.,...

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A Soda Called Sup

Back in the 80's, the Coca-Cola company sold Sup, a combination of Sprite, 7 Up, and a secret ingredient that was never revealed. It was a beloved beverage that was unfortunately discontinued within a couple months and without any intention of going back on store shelves. People started buying Sup l...

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Mum are you sure I'm a polar bear?

Mum are you sure I'm a polar bear?

Yes, why?

Are you really sure?

Yes, of course you are a polar bear, I'm a polar bear, your dad is a polar bear, your grand parents are polar bears, you are a polar bear?

Definitely?

Yes! You were in the coca cola advert and the...

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Toilet Paper

A Native American Medicine Man walks into a drugstore one day to buy supplies for his tribe. Having walked to the toilet paper section, the medicine man notices alongside the name brands there was a package of toilet paper that had no logo or anything on it. Inquiring about it, the clerk said that...

A nail company name Nail Bay hired a publicity agency for a new video ad...

After 2 weeks they asked for a meeting to show the new video.

The video started with an aerial take from the desert and kept zooming into a tiny black spot, which as the zooms keep going is a cross with Jesus nailed on it.

Right after this , the screen goes black and the company logo i...

Apple releases an apple ..

Apple starts selling an apple in the shape of it's iconic logo. People stand in long lines to get the shiny, plastic sealed apples.

One curious customer tears open the plastic seal and finds a dead bug inside. The media gets wind of it and approaches the CEO to get comments.

He says: "...

Crocodiles. He hate them.

Ever since his father was killed by a crocodile, my cousin couldn't stand the sight of crocodiles. Whether its TV, in pictures or even stuffed animals.

He can't even stand the crocodile on brand logos. He's just become very Lacost-intolerant.

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I gave my Japanese friend a Lacoste top as a gift.

He smiled and said 'Arigato'

I'm fairly certain their logo a crocodile...

A guy is driving a Mercedes with a blonde girl in a front seat.

She looked around the car, amazed, and then she saw the Mercedes logo, prominent on the front of the car's hood.

- Hey, what's that? - she asked.

- That? - he replied, chuckling - That's an aiming reticle. I use it to be able to hit pedestrians more reliably.

The girl fell silen...

Peyton Manning goes to heaven

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. “This house is yours for eternity, Peyton,” said God. “This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.”

Peyton...

I'm going to make 2 companies. Competing with Microsoft will be Megahard. Competing with The North Face will be The South End.

Now to make the logos...

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It took us ages to get this joke... Want to have a go?

So the theme for my [House Warming Party](http://i.imgur.com/TaE9k.jpg) was "Puns" and everyone came dressed as a pun. I sewed boxes of smarties to my pants (hardy har har). [This guy](http://imgur.com/a/yWeqt#0) arguably had the hardest one to guess. Those are sprigs of thyme. They're in white ...

Gonzales Nails

The Gonzales company was trying to market their new carpenters nails, and they were thinking about what kind of commercial they should run. One of them says "let's start with an image of Jesus on the cross, and the camera can zoom in on the nails, and our logo then comes up at the bottom!". The oth...

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I’ve been watching so much porn lately, I think I broke my computer

Instead of a windows logo it just shows #metoo

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Tiny Blue Dot

A rich kid is taking his newly acquired vintage Ferrari out for a spin. He starts putting the pedal down as he gets out into the rural areas, just having a blast. His fuel starts running a bit low so he pulls into an old gas station. An older fellow wearing faded jeans and a blue shirt with the g...

I work at an unusual restaurant......

The owner is woman name Lily who liked to drink a lot. She had the restaurant’s logo, the label from a bottle of vodka, drawn on everything. Chairs, tables, light fixtures, bathroom sinks, etc. They were everywhere! Worse yet, it was done with a #2 pencil. The weird owner would also keep all the lar...

At what point during a Netflix and Chill should you start touching her?

Immediately after the Weinstein Company logo flashes across the screen

Weather Channel

I taped a Weather Channel logo on our living room window. It’s like having an extra TV.

Putin is at a press conference...

Reporter: Good day, I'm John Smith from the Coca-Cola company. Mr president I have a question. You've been trying to get the old times back, and bringing the good old communism back.

Putin: Communism bring back russia, yes

Reporter:Why don't you also bring the old red flag back? And m...

Did you hear about the homeless artist who got turned down in his submission for a classic string toy rebranding?

It was a no-go hobo yo-yo logo.

Walking through San Francisco 's Chinatown ,

a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners......When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.'

'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered. "How does that belong in Chinatown ?"

He walked int...

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Just heard this better version of a classic...

A guy and a gal hit it off at the bar. One thing leads to another and they end up back at his place.

The gal is impressed. This guy is a total catch. Professional triathlete, nice house, well spoken and chivalrous. Best of all: no tattoos. This gal hates tattoos.

Well, one thing lead...

A blonde girl asked her boyfriend...

... If he knows how to repair laptops, he said yes and asked her what brand laptop she has, she said that it's a dy brand, he told that he never heard of the brand and asked her to send a picture of the laptop, she took the picture and sent it to him, he looked at it and he realised that was an upsi...

A man is trying to sell his offbrand car

And is depressed that no one will buy it. He meets with his friend and tells him he is depressed because no one wants to buy his car. His friend then gets an idea and says "why don't you go to the store and buy a Mercedes logo and put it on the hood of the car and maybe that'll attract more people t...

Question- what's the worst possible poster you can hang in an STD testing clinic?

[answer](http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/947257/308963732/stock-vector-creative-vector-inspirational-poster-with-motivational-quote-think-positive-motivational-design-308963732.jpg)

THAT DAMN HAM

A preacher's wife goes to the butcher.
The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham.
The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo.
That night, the preacher asks, "What's for ...

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A young couple's anniversary is coming up.....

...and the girl decides to get a Beach Boys tattoo because her boyfriend is a huge fan. So she goes to the tattoo parlor and asks how much will a tattoo of a verse from her boyfriend's favorite song will cost. The tattoo artist tells her a price, which is too much for her. She then asks how much ...

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