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Marc Jokes

So Cleopatra turns to Marc Antony and says…

“Not tonight, dear, I’m on my pyramid.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say one in ten men are homosexual

In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute

What does broke Marc Antony say?

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, I’m in arrears.”

Once upon a time in ancient Rome...

...There lived 3 very important politicians. Brutus was a schemer, and a very ambitious man. No one trusted him, but everyone worked with him. Julius Caesar was unpopular with the politicians of Rome, but the people loved him. Julius was a consul of Rome. Marc Antony was the third politician in ques...

Apparently designer Depends are a thing...

The SkidMarc-Anthonys are absorbing a lot of market share.

A 90 year old man goes to the doctor.

Full disclosure, I got this joke from Tom Jones on Marc Maron's WTF podcast today. Tom's 80, mentally spry like he's 30, and he swears like a sailor.

----
90 year old man goes to the doctor.
Says “Doctor, it used to be that I’d get these erections so hard that I couldn’t even bend them ...

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Cars & sex

-Hey Marc, I bet your sexlife is like your Ferrari!

"I don't have a Ferrari."

-That's what i mean.

Why Can’t Coffee Shops Spell Correctly?

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

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A man with an itch goes to a house of ill repute. He walks in and is greeted by a seedy looking man with a vast array of keys behind him...

“I have $100, what will that get me?” Asks the client.

Grabbing a key behind him the proprietor turns around and tells the man, “second floor, down the hall, third door on the right.”

After a bit the man passes by on his way out the door and tells the proprietor, “that was the best sex...

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An Indian, an Italian and a Jewish man go for an interview to be an undercover detective

Three men applied for the job of a
undercover detective: Johhny English from India, Marc Grayberg, a Jew; and Tom Silanti, an Italian.

The chief decided to ask each applicant just one
question and base his decision upon the answer.

When Grayberg arrived for his interview, the ch...

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