Ben is serving term in prison for fraud. One day he receives a letter from his father, Maurice
Dear Ben,
It looks like I won't be able to plant anything in the garden this year. I am growing too old to do any digging without your help. Looking forward to your early release.
Love, Dad
Ben replies:
Dear Dad,
Please don't dig up the garden - that's where I hid ...
Maurice and Sadie were woken up in the middle of the night when the phone rang
Sadie answered and said "How the hell should I know? It's 100 miles away!"
Maurice asked who it was and Sadie replied, "Some mad woman wanting to know if the coast was clear."
Maurice is 70 years old and makes an appointment to see his doctor. His doctor asks him a few questions.
His doctor asks him a few questions: "Do you have any problems urinating?"
Maurice replies "No, Doctor. It's very regular, every morning at 7am."
"And what about your bowel movements?"
Maurice replies "They're fine also, Doctor. Every morning at 8am."
"So then why did you...
Maurice and Sadie were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary by having a meal at a restaurant with their friends.
Maurice looked unhappy, so his best friend Michael, a solicitor, asked him what was wrong.
"Do you remember on our fifth anniversary I asked you what would happen if I murdered Sadie?"
"Yes," answered Michael, "I said you would get twenty years in jail."
"Well," said Maurice, "I...
Maurice and the doctor
Maurice was a very old man went to the doctor for his physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Maurice walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of weeks later when Maurice saw the doctor again, he spoke to Maurice and said, “You’re really doi...
Some people call me the space cowboy. Some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice...
Yes that's very nice sir, now can you show me your license please?
Did you know Neil de Grasse Tyson has a brother Maurice who’s in the landscaping business?
Moe de Grasse Tyson.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Travelling salesman walks into a bar in a one horse town...
After a few drinks he approaches the bartender... "Barkeep! I need a woman". Bartender says "sorry Mac, the best I can do for you is Singaloo, the cook". Guy spits back "I don't go for that shit!" And sits down again. Few more drinks he goes back to the bartender: "look, if money is the problem ...
Mike Tyson is hosting a spelling bee
A contestant approaches the stage and Mike says, "the word is dictate"
The contestant thinks for a second, clearly pondering the spelling of the word. "Dictate... Mike, could you please use that in a sentence?"
Mike smoothly replies, "Well of course. When I was in prison, Maurice told ...
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