This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common?

Both are outdated currency.

A Swiss man, looking for direc

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No response....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a rude German?

A Deutsche-bag!

I bet you did Nazi that coming :)

What do you call a mean person in Germany?

A Deutsche-bag

Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...

When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.

"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.

Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.

"Hablan ustedes Español?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.

Frustrated, the foreign...

As the old German saying goes:

One's company, two's a Kraut, and three's a Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei.

Angela Merkel visits Greece

Angela Merkel goes on holiday to Greece.

She reaches customs.

Officer: Name?

Merkel: Angela Merkel

Officer: Nationality?

Merkel: Deutsche

Officer: Occupation?

Merkel: Nein, not zis time, just for ze holidays

The foreign tourist

Hank and Frank are walking down the street. A flustered-looking guy comes up to them and asks,

"Parlez-vous français?" (Do you speak French?)

They stare at him. He tries again,

"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?)

They shrug.

"Hablas español?" (Do you spe...

It was 1940...

...in war time Berlin. An SS Officer had a side line going as an amateur clock maker and repairer. One day a customer walked into his clock repair shop with a mantel clock. The SS Officer said "Vhat can I do for you?" The customer replied. "It's my mantel clock. It's not working properly... if you p...

I feel bad for people who work at German supermarkets.

They have to deal with Deutsch bags all day.

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