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Rosenberg Jokes

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A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese.

His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'

'N...

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Mrs. Rosenberg walks into a hotel

Mrs. Rosenberg walks into a hotel and asks the guy behind the counter to put her up for the night.

"Name?" he asks

"Mrs. Rosenberg" she replies

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but we don't give out rooms to Jews."

"Jews? Who's the Jew here? I am Catholic" the woman yells.

"Oh r...

Frank Sinatra was dining out one night when a young high school lad came up to his table.

“Mr. Sinatra," said the teen-age boy, “my name is Bernie Rosenberg. Would you please do me a favor?”
“What kind of favor?” Sinatra asked.
Well, I’m here with my girl and I want to make a good impression on her. I certainly would appreciate it if you would drop by my table and say ‘Hi, Be...

Pamela Adlon told this joke on Somebody Feed Phil. Have never heard it before, it caught me off guard, and I loved it

Old man Rosenberg is laying on his death bed in his family’s home. All of a sudden he gets a whiff of the best thing he’s ever smelled.
“What is that glorious smell?? I know that smell. Oh lord it’s my daughters famous brisket.”
A few minutes go by and his grandson Ezra comes into his room. <...

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A Chinese and a Jewish guy are sitting on a train

A few minutes after the departure, the Jewish guy hits the Chinese guy.

The Chinese guy asks him: why'd you hit me?
The Jewish guy replies: That was for Pearl Harbor!

The Chinese guy then says: but I'm Chinese, not Japanese.
The Jewish guy replies: Chinese, Japanese, it's all the...

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A Chinese man walks into a bar and sits right next to a Jewish man.

The Jewish man starts eyeing the Chinese man suspiciously, a dark expression covering his face. Suddenly, with no warning at all, he stands up, grabs the Chinese man by the neck, smashes his face against the bar and throws him to the floor.

The Chinese man, dazed and angry, stands up and con...

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House for rent

A man puts an ad in the newspaper: "House for rent: christians only"

Next day, someone came. The bad looking owner shows at the door and grumble:

What do you want?

Well, I saw the ad, I want to rent this house.

Ugh, fine, fine, and what is your name?

David Rosenber...

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Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, Look At These ...

A Chinese man is standing on a street corner waiting to cross.
An elderly Jewish man walks up to him, and to his face, exclaims: "Go to hell! Go to hell, for what you and you people did to the innocent people at Pearl Harbor!"
The Chinese guy, baffled, replies: "The Japanese bombed Pearl Harb...

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A Chinese Guy And A Jewish Guy are in a bar (Racist)

After drinking for a while, the Jewish guy gets up and beats the shit out of the chinese guy.

Chinese guy: What dat faw?

Jewish Guy: That's For Pearl Harbor

Chinese Guy: Pearl Harbor? Dat Japanese. I chinese!

Jewish Guy: Chinese, japanese, same shit.

The two contin...

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A Jewish man walks into a bar...

... and sits down on the only available stool next to a Chinese man. The Jew looks over and says, "Ugh, I hate the Chinese!" The Chinese man says,"Why!? What did we ever do to you?" The Jewish man says, "You guys bombed Pearl Harbor!" "That was the Japanese, you idiot!" "Chinese, Japanese, same thin...

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A man named Tony gets on an airplane

A man named Tony gets on an airplane in New York going to Las Vegas, and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a stunningly beautiful and very sexy woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards him. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo an...

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