Q: Can February March?

*A: No. But April May!*

What kind of women get the most flowers on March 8?

The ones who die on March 7.

Why did the straight buffalo dad march in the pride parade? [OC]

To proudly support his Bison.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was very undecided about attending the LGBT+ Pride march today and I ended up with a sore butt....

...It’s what I get for sitting on the fence!

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming

Because marches would definitely solve the problem.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

‘I was at that neo-nazi march today’ “was it any good?”

‘It was alt-right’

I joined a march today for the legalization of marijuana. Well, it started off as a march, but after a while...

...it turned into a wander.

In protest, my friends and I are gonna march down to the city square dressed in trash that we picked up around the city...

...like litter-rally.

There's a reason they call it "March Madness".

A Duke fan, a Kentucky fan, and a Tennessee fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most.

The Tennessee fan insists that he is the most loyal and then yells “This is for the Vols!” and jumps off the mountain.

Not to be outdone, the UK fan next professes h...

I ran into R. Kelly while he was filling out a March Madness bracket.

He was picking primarily the 14s and 15s.

Turns out he’s really into #1 too.

Cruel March Madness Odds

If you want a sure thing in your men’s NCAA tournament pool, you’ll need to fill out the 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 brackets necessary to guarantee a winner. Just leave yourself *plenty* of time to finish them all*:* if you filled out one bracket every second it would take you 292 billion years to co...

Grindr got hacked in March of 2018.

Looks like someone found the back door.

Celebrate the Ides of March with a donut. In fact...

Eat two, Brute.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.

"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"

Revitalized, we picked up the pace.

"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point an...

How do data march?

In formation.

Did you hear about the Doctors' March?

We don't know what it was about, nobody could read the signs.

JUNE (to Yoda): Do you think April will march in the parade?

YODA: March April may, June.

I find it incredible that a man could raise an army, march them halfway round the known world...

...and still not know they were all named bloody Spartacus!

The only day of the year that gives an order

March 4th

Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!

Today, March 26th, is Epilepsy Awareness day.

So get on out there and seize the day!

What was the best part of the million man march?

No one missed a day of work.

Saw a woman in Walmart who had March Madness teeth this morning

She was down to her final 4!!!

They are doing a new sequel to the movie “March of the Penguins”

They are calling it “April of the Penguins!”

Why is March woman's history month?

It's the only month that tells you what to do.

I think the March for Our Lives Movement is slowing down.

I mean, first they were running for their lives, now they're just marching.

For the Ides of March...

Caesar walks into a bar, and tells the bartender "I'll have a martinus."

The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini, sire?"

Caesar scowls, and says "If I wanted a double I would have said so!"

Why does the north Korean military always march to the left?

Because they have no rights.

There was supposed to be a BLM march today with up to a million people

Although it's strange that I only count 600,000.

I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March

I was born in November

French joke

Why are the streets of France lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.

Will February March?

No, but April May :')

Sorry, IDK if this was posted before.

And yes, I know it's bad.

Why does England feel like it's two months ahead of us?

It's only March 28th here, but in England it feels like it's the end of May.

Did you here about the agoraphobia march?

No one showed up.

I'm getting ready to go down to support the woman's march.

Just waiting on my wife to pack me a sandwich.

The Women's March is organising a strike day where women won't do anything

Thank god I know how to make sandwiches

The way I see it, the March for Science has really turned out to be more of a parade for science puns than an actual protest.

And I'm totally Oxygen-Potassium with that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would participate in the climate march

But it's too hot.

March forth is National Grammar Day

March forth, it is National Grammar Day on March 4th!

Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March?

They only had 2 trucks.

Did you hear about the March for Science?

It was held in April. Typical scientists.

The assassination of Julius Caesar

Caesar was famously killed on the Ides of March, but he wasn't expecting the attack until August 2. His final words embodied his dismay over the scheduling confusion:

"8/2, Brute..."

Beware the SATA of March

Much faster than the IDEs

Some people tell me I have OCD but I don't have it...

The first time I was told was Sunday, 21st March 1999, 4 minutes and 23 seconds past 4 O'Clock.

That's 21/3/1999, 04:04:23

But for the 937th time, I don't have OCD.

If only I had a nickel for every time someone told me I have OCD I'd have forty six dollars and eighty five cents...

Fun fact about Beethoven.

On March 26th, 1827, Ludwig van Beethoven stopped composing, and began decomposing.

Twenty-five years.

Twenty-five years, and I never killed a single person until a few months ago. Now I'm on death row for multiple charges: manslaughter, murder, negligence.

After the first, I thought it was over. I thought nothing of the fact that the Sheriff warned me I would be sentenced to death if it happe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Six Letters of the Alphabet

Billy was a boy in kindergarten. At the end of the school day, the teacher gave the class a simple task.

“Ok class, I want you to go home tonight and learn the first six letters of the alphabet.”

So Billy left school determined to learn what the teacher had asked. When he got home, he ...

What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?

Where were you on the night of September to March?

What did George Washington say to his men on March 3rd

Tomorrow we march forth

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day....

One remarked, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday..."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

Room 39

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.


\-The client: is room 39 empty?
\-The boss: yes, sir.
\-The client: can I book it?
\-The boss: of course you can.
\-The client: thank you.


Before going to th...

What did the commander say to his troops?

March 4th

Things I do to annoy my wife...

1) Say 'bless yooou' in the same intonation as her 'Atchooo'

2) Sing "Little red corvette... the kind you find in a second-hand store"

3) Bring her an empty plate and say "Oh no, the pasta got too close to the anti-pasta!"

4) Leave a room, fart loudly, return as if nothing's h...

Girlfriend to boyfriend

GF - I'm sorry babe but i've cheated on you.

BF - I'm sorry aswell, I have also cheated on you.

GF - April fools day!

BF - Mine was on 24th March

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