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Michel Jokes

What did Barack say to Michele when he asked her to marry him?

I don't wanna be Obama self.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked woman on his back.

"What the hell are you supposed to be, then?" the host asks.

"I'm a turtle," the man replies.

"What a pile of shite!" the host replies. "How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that naked woman on your back?"

"Oh her?" the man smiles. "That's just Michelle!"

Saw a guy walking with a naked woman on his back. "You OK?" I asked.

"Sure. I'm headed to a fancy dress as a tortoise."

"And her?"

"Oh, that's Michelle."

I asked a girl back to my place to enjoy the works of Michel Houellebecq.

But she said she ain't no Houellebecq girl.

What is Michele Obama's favorite vegetable?

Barack-oli

As the news breaks of the passing of Michele Ferrero...

I can't help but shed a chocolatier.

Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose?

It doesn't matter he's just going to drop it anyway

Halloween Joke

This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he’s just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.

The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume?”

The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I’m a snail!”...

A guy goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend on his back....

When asked what he has come as he tells everyone, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle of course"
"What's that on your back then???"
"Oh, that's Michele he replies"

Bill and the Genie

Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama's new puppy, Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his Rolls and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew Michele would go absolutely ballistic.

Then he noticed a lamp half-buried...

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