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Lopez Jokes

I got turned on by Jennifer Lopez last night

That might be coz I’m a Fan

Tai Lopez really changed my life

He's the reason I installed adblock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy walks into a saloon, you can tell he isn’t a local and looks like an outlaw...

So the bartender stops and asks him if he knows Pepe Lopez, the meanest outlaw around. Well the cowboy takes a shot of his whiskey and says, “do I know pepe Lopez, ha”

I was out in the desert last week minding my own business when Pepe Lopez jumped out of some bushes and surprised me. Now I w...

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting

the branch of a tree hanging over a river ...
..., his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the...

J-Lo's new nickname

Jennifer Lopez is called J-Lo. She dropped the last 3 letters of her last name. She got rid of them. Dispensed with them.

Doesn't that make her a pez dispenser?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a certain country, there was a strict curfew that was brought about by the new ruling at the time.

Everyone needed to be home by 6 PM, and anyone breaking this rule would be arrested, or worse, shot on sight.

Marcelino and Santiago were two officers that made sure everyone followed this rule. Marcelino was a newbie, and Santiago's been in the force for years.

As they go about their ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oil well fire fighters

3 tycoons own an oil well that catches on fire. They try everything they can think of to put it out, to no avail. So they call Red Adair, the famous oil well fire fighter. He tells them he can put out the fire, but it will be 3 weeks before he can get there and will cost half a million dollars. ...

[Long] A man and his wife are living in a cabin in the woods...

One day, the man goes to the well to get some water for the cabin before going to chop firewood, and clumsily drops his trusty hatchet into the well. The spirit of the well rises and says 'I am the spirit of the well, and help those who lose possesions in my well'. He asks the man what he needs help...

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