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Marco Jokes

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Marco and Luigi are sitting on a park bench

Marco says, "Eh Luigi, you likea de women with de big saggy titties?
Luigi replies, "No, I donna likea de big saggy titties."
Marco thinks and asks, "Eh Luigi, you likea de women wid de big fat belly?
Luigi says, "No Marco, I no likea de big fat belly."
Marco thinks for a second and asks...

Today a friend said to me: "Marco, aren't you sad to see your friends getting married and you being single at 43?"

I replied:

"Yes, I am, but I don't know how to help them."

I had a cousin called Marco. Tragic story. He got lost in a crowded shopping mall. My aunt called and called for him

but of course she hadn't a hope of hearing him calling back.

Columbus,Marco Polo etc,are not the bravest explorers of all time.

Its the Internet Explorer.

It is brave enough to ask to be my default browser.

I taught my son today to play Marco Polo

We opened the cabinet and found China.

Marco? Polio!

Ok now all the anti-vax people ran away, there's a huge party at my house and you are all invited!

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Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

There's nothing wrong with naming your son Marco....

Until you lose him at the park one day.

Hundreds of years after their deaths, Galileo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Marco Polo are walking in heaven and decide to have a conversation with Jesus...

Galileo says, “Jesus, I’ve been thinking about my past life on Earth, and I wanted to know what I am remembered for all these years later.”

Jesus pauses and replies, “Galileo, you are remembered as the Father of Modern Physics. By being one of the first to apply mathematics to motion, you le...

What do Marco Rubio and an AR-15 have in common?

They're both really easy to buy in Florida.

Bush, Marcos, and Idi Amin all died and went to hell.

While in hell, they saw a red phone and asked what the phone is for.

The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Marcos ask to call Manila and talks for 5 minutes.
When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost of calling to Earth is a million dollars, so Marco...

My anti-vaxx sister brought her kids over to swim today.

But the only game they played was Marco Polio.

What do anti-vaxx children play in the pool?

Marco-Polio

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In the afterlife, Dictators are lining up in heavens gate to be judged

St. Peter: Ok Stalin, you're next!

Stalin: It's ok Hitler, you can go first!

(After Hitler)

St. Peter: ok,next!

Stalin: Go ahead Saddam!

( after Saddam )

St. Peter: ok,next!

Stalin: Go ahead Marcos!

St. Peter: what's wrong with him?

Mar...

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who risked everything to explore asia and didn't give a fuck?

Marco Yolo

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World War III

Donald Trump and Marco Rubio are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman,
'Isn't that Trump and Rubio sitting over there?'
The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'

So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor!
What are you guys doing in here?' <...

What do you call an intrepid rooster?

Marco "Pollo"

Why did the chicken go around the world?

Because his name was Marco Pollo..

Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public.

They could call it Marco Rubio.

What do you call an Italian's semi-formal shirt?

Marco's polo

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