What did everyone say about Nathan when he got fired from the fortune cookie factory?

That’s unfortunate.

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An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.

Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't k...

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Nazi Germany sponsored a program for less fortunate kids to travel to the Far East.

it was called "youth in Asia".

I used to be an angsty teenager. Fortunately it was just a phase though.

Now I’m an angsty adult.

I was so fortunate that a Muslim family was able to take me in when Social Isolation when into effect.

Now I am in Quran-tine.

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

I'm always looking out for people less fortunate than me.

I don't want them to rob me.

A son returns from the Vietnam war.

His father clapped him on the back and told him he is a very fortunate son.

I thought my vitamin might be cancerous

Fortunately, the tests showed it was B-9

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My wife and I are home quarantined for two weeks. Fortunately, we hoarded lots of toilet paper.

Time for some roll playing games.

This morning I thought I was going senile when I couldn’t remember where I’d put my watch.

Then, fortunately, my wife reminded me that I haven’t worn a watch in 5 years.

A group of Americans were touring Ireland

One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your day...

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Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story! 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine.  He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. 

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

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When i was a kid this was my favorite joke don't hate me pls i changed.

I want to first apologise for my english in case i over complicate the joke it's my 3rd language and i have to translate it from my native language ^^

Well so it starts in a restaurant. A tall lady with weird long grey hair shows up with her huge bag and asks for a place for 2, so the waiter ...

My neighbor knocked on my door at 3 a.m.

3 a.m.!!!

Fortunately, i was still awake, playing my bagpipes.

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A lady, a guy and a lad and their love

There was this guy, mid to late twenties, black hair, just average next door type of guy. He's a honest worker who worked his way up in his job and makes a decent living for a man of his age. When he was a kid he was not extremely sharp and people would make fun of his stupidity. But he didn't care ...

There's a boy named Bonnie...

There’s a boy named Bonnie.

He is made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he is become very shy.

But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out.

She says yes, and he is so happy.


After years of dating, he works up ...

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I'm really fortunate for my sphincter muscle.

Without it I'd lose my shit.

Fortunately the California earthquakes were a bit out in the desert so not many people got hurt.

But a few snakes were rattled.

I'm fortunate to have met a beautiful woman from Mississippi who had all of her teeth.

All of them are on her necklace.

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My mother taught me...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go...

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