UPJOKE
trashwasterubbishgarbagelandfillpalanquindebrisexcrementbeddingstrewrefusejunkstrawstretcherwastage

Littered Jokes

Why are Tesla factories littered with calculators?

Because bots don't count.

My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.

Luckily we still won on aggregate.

I once littered in a forest and the only ones that saw me were a group of otters in the nearby river. I'll never forget the look they gave me as that plastic bottle left my hands.

It was a look of otter disdain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors.

There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of...

Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed?

The street was littered with de brie

A very rich man is having a very big party on the hottest day of the year

The party features a full big band performance and an open bar. In order to fight the extreme heat, the party is littered with large fans running full blast, inadvertantly causing the musicians to tie the sheet music down to their music stands to prevent them from blowing away. Meanwhile, the bass s...

Alligator Boots

One day A Ranger decided he wanted to get himself some gator boots, and being a Ranger he wasn't about to go to a store for some. Instead he goes out to the bayou to find a gator to make himself some shoes.
So he comes across a local man and asks him where he can find a gator. The man gives him ...

Stand up acts anyone?

So, I was on a trip staying at a hostel. You know, budget travel.
I was in Australia, a small town, and I wake up needing to use the bathroom. The catch is it was 2:30 in the morning. And I would need to walk through an outdoor area to get there. So I decide to wait.

However, while waiting...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bard [Long]

Suzie was the teacher's pet - A's in every class. One day a stranger stood in front of the lecture hall for her writing course.
'Sorry students, your professor has been in a terrible accident and I will be leading this course for the remainder of the year.'
No problem - Suzie looked forward to...

A panicked mathematician rushes into his professors’s office...

The professor looks up in shock from his work to see one of his students slamming a high school geometry textbook on his desk.

“What’s wrong?!” exclaims the professor.

“They’ve updates the syllabus,” the mathematician replies.

The professor, still confused, watches the mathemat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Duck in the Bottle

A man is on a quest for true enlightenment. His travels led him to sit with the Dalai Lama.

Man: Sir, do you have the answer for enlightenment?

The religious figure walks away but comes back with a bottle and a duck.

He hands both to the man and tells him,

"The day yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. He then sets his briefcase on the bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny man. He sets them both on the bar and, immediately, the tiny man starts playing the tiny piano. The bartender looks over, astounded, and asks "sir, where did you get that tiny piano p...

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.