Garbage Jokes - 55 Hilarious Garbage Jokes

What do you call a conversation between two garbage cans.

Trash Talk.

When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of résumés, I throw about half of them in the garbage.

I do not want unlucky people working in our company

Got a new job as a garbage man but I was worried as there’s no training.

The boss said I’ll pick it up as I go.

Garbage can

An old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came dow...

Two goats are eating garbage

The first one finds a roll of film and eats it.

When he's done, the second one asks, "how did you like the movie?"

The first one responds, "it was OK, but I liked the book better."

A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would ...

You know there's no official training for garbage men?

They just pick it up as they go along.

How rich are garbage men?

Filthy.

A virus walks into a bar, and sits down. The bartender tells him, "We don't serve your kind here."

The virus is momentarily taken aback by this unexpected and blatant display of bigotry, the likes of which he's only seen in history textbooks.

For a brief moment, he considers the bartender. What kind of life experiences would shape someone into such a pathetic piece of garbage? What happene...

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A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen...

Embarrassed and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, that was just an insect."

To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

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A family is driving behind a garbage truck...

The truck drives over a hump, the load is shifted and a huge pink dildo falls out, bounces on the road and straight into the windshield of the car, off the hood and into the side of the road.

Shaken, the little girl in the back says "what was that??"

Mom says "Oh, that was just a beetl...

Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better.

But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.

I've been trying to throw a garbage can away for three weeks...

but they won't take it.

I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage

But I think this sub's doing even better!

Rubble is a word for worthless garbage

Sorry I meant ruble.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

Epstein is like a full garbage bag

It’s not gonna take itself out.

While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let ...

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A police officer sees an old lady dragging two large garbage bags down the sidewalk...

He takes a closer look and sees that one of the bags has a small tear in it and $20 bills are escaping from the hole every few yards. The officer approaches the lady and asks what's in the bags. "This one's filled with $20 bills", she replies. "Where did you get all that money?", the policeman enqui...

Becoming a garbage man isn't hard....

you just pick it up as you go along.

^^^*I'm* ^^^*terribly* ^^^*sorry*

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

Wife: "I have a lot of my own clothes I'd like to donate."

Husband: "Why bother? It's easier to throw the clothes in the garbage can."

Wife: "Don't be selfish! There are so many poor people who have no clothes and are starving."

Husband: " Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving..."

Bad pickup line: Dang girl, you smell like garbage...

Can I take you out?

Garbage Collector

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father.

His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well," said the...

A garbage man was doing the rounds one morning in Oklahoma

He came to a house where there was no bin out front, but there was a guy sitting on the porch.

The garbage man called out. ‘Hey! Where’s ’ya bin?’

The guy replies ‘I’ve been in Florida’.

The garbage man says ‘No. No. Where’s ‘ya wheely bin?’

The guys says ‘I’ve really bee...

A father takes his son to the casino.

A father takes his son to the casino and they lose $1,000 in one hour.
Dad tells his disappointed son “don’t worry son we’ll come back tomorrow and do better”
The next day they come back to the casino and the dad grabs $1,000 and throws it in the garbage and heads for the exit.
The son asks...

I keep trying to throw out my garbage can

But the garbage men keep emptying it and leaving it there

During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "have you ever heard of the word contagious before?"

"Of course miss" Johnny replies "my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday".

"Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?"

"Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over ...

Why is great to have garbage men as my video game teammates?

They are used to carrying trash.

Did you know the garbage man recognised me?

Yeah, he knows all the trash 'round here

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back garden is ...

My garbage man might get fired.

I really hope he isn’t canned.

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Don't bother with that new program on netflix about subliminal persuasion, it's fucking garbage.

I turned it off after just five seasons.

A garbage man wakes up from a coma.

The nurse says to him
"I’m afraid to tell you that you’ve been in a coma for almost 25 years. Both of your parents have passed away in that time and the rest of your friends and lovers have moved on, believing you would never recover. You no longer have a home or any possessions. The only reason ...

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A garbage man is doing his collections....

..... he sees that one house has not put their bin out front. He checks down the side of the house, it's not there, so he knocks at the front door. No answer, so he rings the bell, still no answer. He knocks one last time, waits and finally starts walking back down the path towards the street. But t...

What’s the difference between my ex-girlfriend and garbage?

Garbage still gets taken out once a week

Can we take a serious moment to raise awareness about the North Atlantic Garbage Patch?

Not enough people really talk about England very much

As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there’s no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...

"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"

What do you call a sundae that melts away and turns into garbage?

A Mon-dae

My wife cheated on me with the garbage man.

I asked her how she could do such a thing and she said "He actually pays attention to me, he takes me out!" I replied, "That's because it's his job, honey."

What’s worse than 3 babies in 1 garbage can?

1 baby in 3 garbage cans!

Why don't you talk to the garbage man

because he talks trash

My cousin thinks reddit is unoriginal garbage

He runs an Instagram meme page

I think I want to be a garbage man.

I hear the industry is picking up!

What do you call a group of baby garbage bins?

A litter...

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A mother and her son are stuck behind a garbage truck in traffic

Suddenly, a dildo flies out of the truck and hits the windshield.
To save her son‘s innocence, the mother goes: "Wow that was a huge bug!"
To which her son replies: "Damn, how is that bug flying with a cock that big!?"

What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage?

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.

My friend dropped a penny down their garbage disposal, now it no longer works...

...I suggested she drop another one down there to see if it would dislodge the first. I was just giving her my two-cents.

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You have to be a real piece of shit to throw your garbage out your car window.

I spent the whole day picking up trash along the highway as part of my community service for beating up my girlfriend & it’s really made me develop a hatred for scumbags who litter.

Why is garbage so sad?

It's down in the dumps.

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with the band Garbage.

Stupid Girl.

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So a divorced husband has been seen having sex with a garbage bin

So a divorced husband has been seen having sex with a garbage bin

His ex-wife goes up to him and asks “Woah woah woah, what the hell are you doing?”

The man replies with: “Well you told me im fucking trash, so here we are.”

I love garbage day...

Once a week my street celebrates me

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into an office to discover the trash can is on fire.

The physicist announces "We must put the garbage can in the fridge so that the temperature will be below the ignition temperature and therefore put itself out!"

The chemist replies "No, we must cover the garbage can so that the fire consumes all of the oxygen and, in the absence of re...

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You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

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