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Recycling Jokes

What do you call a high ranking soldier who hates recycling?

General Waste.

I called my local recycling centre about what to do with old batteries.

They said they'd take them free of charge.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop...

It was sole destroying

My friend called me the other day and told me he hated working at the can recycling plant

He said it was, “soda pressing”

You know those boxes full of dead batteries you see in supermarkets? The ones due for recycling. Did you know you can just take them?

They’re free of charge.

I have a joke about recycling

But unfortunately it’s already been used

I'm trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.

But I'm struggling to get it off the ground.

I found a place where the recycling rate is 98%

/r/Jokes

My buddy has been sacked from his job in recycling.

I can't believe he has gone and thrown it all away.

Top Reddit posters should use their karma to help the environment.

They are already experts at recycling.

I went on a tour of the animal recycling facility today...

I was rendered speechless.

Most people claim they support recycling,

But they sure get mad when someone reposts a joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Bill and Hillary Clinton got married, Bill informed Hillary that he had a shoebox under the bed, and she was never to open it under any circumstances. Hillary agreed and promised to never open the box.

Hillary respected his wish as the years went by and kept her promise. But after several years of marriage, Hillary's curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box and found several hundred dollars in cash, and a couple of empty beer cans.

She felt guilty, and confessed to Bill that she ha...

Working at the aluminum can recycling center is the saddest job I've had.

It's just soda pressing.

My wife asked if we could start recycling?

I said ”Of course!“


It seems like the only way to get karma on this sub.

A man and his son are walking by a recycling center when the son notices how forlorn all the workers seem to be.

“Dad, why do they all look so down?”

“Son, you would be too if you had to smash pop cans all day long. It’s soda pressing.”

Sorry

What’s the most lively recycling center?

The organ transplant center

Recycling is important...

I went to the bar last night. I saw two rather large ladies having a great time. They seemed to be speaking in an Irish accent. I sauntered over and asked them

"Are you ladies from Ireland?"

They responded, "It's Wales, you idiot!"

I apologized immediately and said
"Are you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If all people were like Redditors, we would have a better planet

Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best .

P.S.A - Do recycle ♻

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill and Hillary

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.”
In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it ...

I had a job interview at the city recycling center

"Why should we hire you?" They asked.

"Have you seen my r/Jokes posts?" I replied.

People claim to be into recycling

but watch their faces as you rinse out a condom.

Which Smurf does the recycling?

Smurfette, she's the only one with a blue box.

Q.How do we know there are so many environmentalists on reddit?

A. Because everyone keep recycling the same jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An arrogant man who often judged others for the slightest misdeeds dies and finds himself waiting in heaven to be judged by god...

A man finds himself in a line to see "God". He can hear the conversations God has with each person as they reach the front of the line. Apparently the Lord is using a particular method to expedite coming up with proper punishments.

"No one knows your sins better than you my child, thus you sh...

A man is looking for a job at a recycling plant...

A man has been out of a job for quite some time now. It seems that he has fallen into quite the slump and his wife is threatening divorce if he doesn’t get a job.
He finally gets applications out and gets an interview from the local recycling plant. He goes in and answers all the typical questio...

What do you get when you combine an excess of waste and recycling?

r/jokes

I looked up the nearest recycling center in my area in google maps and asked for directions

It opened up this subreddit

Recycling Adult Toys

"One man's trash is another man's pleasure!"

I usually don't like recycling jokes, but...

Did you hear the one about the priest and rabbi at the bottle redemption center?

Recycling in the UK is getting very serious...

Even our immigrants are being shipped in reusable containers.

My interview at the recycling plant lasted 10 seconds

Interviewer - What were you doing before ?

Me - Posting on r/Jokes

Interviewer - Hired

I hate going to aluminium recycling facilities

Its soda-pressing.

What's the difference between r/jokes and a recycling depot?

Occasionally new material passes through the recycling depot.

Since I like helping the environment and recycling/reusing things I searched for a place with like-minded people.

After a few days I finally found where they reuse and recycle almost everything: r/Jokes

My dad's Christian and my mom's jewish and they LOVE recycling...

But it's a little awkward for both me and my grandad on ash wednesday. Sadly he didn't survive the holocaust.

A man walked into a bar … and stayed there my entire childhood

Yes I’m recycling myself. But I’m in therapy now :)

Greta Thunberg should really mention this sub Reddit in her next public speech

This sub has achieved almost 100% recycling rate for the jokes, perfect example of how a sustainable society should be.

Every week, I'm happy to say that a recycling truck takes my garbage.

But I prefer /r/jokes where trash gets recycled almost every single day.

A man is cleaning out his house and finds a pile of old New York Post papers.

He decides he doesn't have any use for them, and goes to the local recycling center to dispose of them.

He sees the first recycling bin, marked "Glass". The man says, "No, this won't do. I need a different bin."

He sees the second recycling bin, marked "Plastic". The man says, "No, thi...

Earth Day

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what are you doing to celebrate Earth Day?" the bartender asks. "Oh, already done," the guy replies. "I sent all my work related e-mails to my recycling bin."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A timber recycling centre placed a job ad seeking an experienced timber sorter.

And one morning in walks a guy wearing dark glasses and using a white cane.

"I've come about the timber sorting position", he tells the lady at reception.

She gets her husband, the boss, who takes one look at the guy and says, "No offence pal, but how do you intend to sort timber if y...

The headline was "two babies found dead at recycling center..."

I'm going to hell because my first thought was "Good job. We used to just throw those away. Now we're recycling."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a fine Monday morning Dave the postman was walking around his usual root, delivering mail.

He saw that at the next house both cars were in the driveway, he’s a bit shocked by this but he sees the homeowner, Greg, walking out with a ton of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles to go into the recycling bin.

Dave looks for a moment and then says “We’ll damn, you guys sure had one hell o...

I educate my kids using r/jokes

It teaches them that you gain karma by recycling trash.

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