Mulch Jokes - 10 Hilarious Mulch Jokes

Why do flower beds have mulch?

So you can't see their underplants.

Warning: Dirt joke

It's not mulch, really.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] One of my favorite jokes from BoJack Horseman

Okay so there's this gardener right?
So the amazing thing about this gardener is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch he needs for a job, just by looking. Like he gets it right, every time. He's the best.
So one day, he looks at a yard he's working on and he's like... 18 bags. S...

What do you call an empty ring of wet wood chips?

Mulch a-dew about nothing

What’s the difference between dirt and miracle grow?

Not mulch

"Honey, let's just a couple of sheep so we don't have to mow the lawn." -- "Oh, but what would we do with the wool?" -- "Well, we could-"

shear it

wash it

dry it

pick it

card it

bag it

store it

sell it

process it

clean it

buy it

keep it

pack it

send it

mail

insulate it

mulch it

fertilise it

toss it

compo...

What does Elvis say when he's done doing your landscaping?

"Thank you, thank ya very mulch"

*obviously needs to be read in Elvis' voice for the joke to make sense

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a covenant of nuns hires a group of landscapers to do some work.... (Long)

Sister Mary Peter was looking at the grounds of the covenant one day and decided to call her brother John, a landscaper, to do some work and liven up the place. After agreeing to do so, John and his crew arrived at the covenant and began work on the grounds.

Throughout the week, John and his ...

There once was a young engineer...

There once was a young engineer, who after having worked for several years, decided that he and his family should have a weekend getaway place. He searched the surrounding country and found a lovely spot with frontage on a small river. He and his family built a cabin and began spending time there ev...

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada. He's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, stunningly beautiful alley he's ever come across...

It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.

The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.

His feet feel refreshed!

The street has gorgeous slopes and embankments, li...

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