UPJOKE
fieldfieldeninfieldfieldercountrysidepasturegrangeoutfieldfarmfarmerpaddycompanymultinationalagriculturalhuang

A woman goes to a doctor named Dr. Wong.

"Doctor, I can't get a date, no one will go out with me."

In a very thick Asian accent, Dr. Wong says, "Take off clothes and get on all four hands and knees."

She does.

"Now crawl to wall."

She does so and looks back at him.

"I know what wrong."

“What ...

The Wongs had a baby.

The Wongs had a baby. The husband suspected the wife had cheated when the baby came out Caucasian. As we all know, 2 Wongs don't make a white.

An ancient Chinese joke, at least a thousand years old.

A man visits his sick friend, and finds him to now be well and energetic. "How wonderful!", his friend says, "What happened?". "Dr. Chang is the cause of my health.", he says gratefully. "Dr. Chang, what did he do?". "Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Won...

Mr Wong goes to the optometrist...

The optometrist says to him "I'm sorry, Mr Wong, I'm afraid I have some bad news: you have a cataract."

Mr Wong says confidently "No! I drive Rincoln Continentar!"

A white guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy go to work at a coal mine.

When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. The white guy, Frank, is in charge of digging. The black guy, Jamaal, is in charge of transportation. The Chinese guy, Wong, is in charge of supplies.

They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Frank is digging up the coal at...

The Wong Brothers

In ancient China lived the Wong brothers, three wise men who studied the arts of magic. Wong Wan could create beautiful tapestries with the tiniest bit of thread, and Wong Tsu could miraculously make crops grow in barren soil. Wong Lee, however, was much more sinister than his brothers. His magic co...

Cynthia Wong is giving birth at her local hospital...

...that her and her husband Vincent helped to build with their generous donations over the past few years. After a brief hello with his new mom, the newborn boy is taken off to the maternity ward.

After a while, the dad takes a stroll over to the ward to see his new son through the glass, but...

I wish my last name was Wong

Because when I get married and have a kid I can name them Right to say that 2 Wongs do make a Right

White and Wong

One Sunday, back in 2005/2006, as i was reading the comics from the local paper, i was trying to remember the name of one of the actors from Law and Order: SVU. For the life of me i couldn't remember his name. My grandpa, being a smart-ass, gave me a hint by saying A.C. White. I thought about it for...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After years of trying a Chinese couple, the Wong's, finally get pregnant. With much anticipation Mrs. Wong delivers a beautiful Hispanic baby boy..

Mr. Wong names him Sum Ting.

Why are there no Wongs in Chinese phonebooks?

Because you might wing a wong number.

I threw a Chinese man down the stairs...

It was Wong on so many levels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wong ho

A California business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke ...

[OC] A newly wed couple, Mr and Mrs Wong, are driving down the road. After a time, they come to a crossroads.... Which way do they turn?

Left, obviously.

Everyone knows two Wongs don't make a right.

Why did the Chinese couple take their newborn back to the hospital?

He was Caucasian, and they knew two Wongs don't make a white.



.

.

.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT condone racism in any way, form or fashion. It's just wordplay, folks. Apologies to anyone too sensitive for my humor.

Mr and Mrs Wong have a baby

When the baby is born, Mr Wong immediately knows that Mrs Wong has cheated on him...
Because two Wongs don’t make a white.

The original script for Dr. Strange had an undead version of Wong battle with the living one. Ultimately they decided it didn't work.

Two Wongs don't make a wight.

What's the problem with so many people called Wing and Wong in China?

On the phone, you might wing the wong number

I had 2 chinese friend, who were twins.

One day, a bully came up to him and demanded their lunch money, but they quickly beat the bully up.

The bully really messed with the Wong kids.

A Chinese couple gave birth to an albino baby

...which just goes to show that two Wongs do make a white.

Why couldn't the Wong brothers get their prototype plane to fly?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Chinese take over the world, and start re-organizing the social structure...

They decide that the best way to do things is to separate everyone by race, and keep all white people in Europe and North America, all Asian people in Asia, all black people in Africa, etc.

Now, of course, the issue is that race isn't such a cut-and-dry thing, so after sorting through the obv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the man say after walking in on the Asian couple having sex?

That was the Wong room.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man dies and goes to hell

He arrives in time for Hell orientation. As he walks into the orientation room, he looks around and finds an empty seat and sits down. The orientation staff woman starts off the meeting with a roll-call:

"Do we have Mr. Johnson present?"

"Here," says a man.

"Mr. Smith?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chinese Sick Leave

Wong calls his boss in the morning telling him he was feeling sick and couldn't come to work.

His boss says, "You know what Wong? Sometimes when I feel sick I ask my wife for sex. I feel better then. You should do the same."

Wong agrees and three hours later he calls his boss again....

Mr Wong goes to the Eye Doctor...

Mr Wong goes to the Eye Doctor. He tells the Dr "I cannot see where." The doctor gives him an exam and says "Mr Wong, I know what your problem is. You have cataracts." Mr Wong replies angrily "No sir!! I drive Rincoln Continentor!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the early days of aircraft, China was copying some American designs.

They bought one of the earliest gliders from the States and carefully took it apart. Measured dimensions of the wings and body, weighed every single part and even did some careful studies to determine the exact materials.

They put some of their best engineers on it to ensure all the maths che...

My first wife was from China, but my friends never liked her

They said I married the Wong woman

A man moves from China to the US looking for work

After he and his wife settle in, they find themselves prospering in their new country. Years later, they have a son, who grows up to be a powerful and respected businessman. One day, he comes home with a woman wrapped around his arm

"Mom, Dad" he says,"This is Tiffany Wong." His parents are...

A man wants his house painted white while he's on vacation.

Looking through the newspaper he sees an ad for the Wong Brothers Painting Company.

He hires the Wong Brothers to paint his house white as he's preparing to leave for the week.

When his vacation is over he comes home and his house is *pink*.

Angry, he goes to the Wong Brothers...

family problems

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year,
The Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy,
But definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents...
'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' ...

I told my wife I had a dream that in a previous life she was Chinese...

... She told me that was impossible because she has never been Wong.

Did you hear about the Chinese brother's that tried to start a German Empire?

Turns out two Wongs don't make a Reich.

I win every argument I have with my chinese friend...

He's Wong, and I'm white.

My friends Mr and Mrs Wong just had a son and asked me if they should name him Dwight - I said Hell No!

because two Wongs don't make a Dwight.

A Chinese spy wearing a tuxedo walks into a Russian bar.

He says to the bartender, “The name is Wong. Li Wong. I’ll have a martini. Shaken, not stirred.”

“Gin or vodka?” Asks the bartender.

“Surprise me.” Replies Li.

The bartender makes the martini, gives it to Li and says, “If you can guess the name of the alcohol, it’s on th...

Why don't vampires suck on chinese blood?

Because it tastes wong.

What?

I took my neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Wong to the Hospital for the imminent birth of their new Baby. When the Baby was born, it was Caucasian. What's wrong with that, you might ask? Two Wongs don't make a White.

(groans expected......and justified)

What do you call an autistic Chinese baby?

Sum Ting-Wong

An chinese dad sees his newborn child and is startled when he realises the kid is clearly white.

He runs to the doctor and asks:

"Doctor, is it even medically possible for me and my wife - both chinese - to have a caucasian-looking baby?"

The doctor, turns to him, thinks for a bit, and replies:

"No. Two Wongs don't make a white."

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I had sex with this Asian girl the other day...

She didn't speak much English, but I think she liked it. She kept on screaming "Wong Ho! Wong Ho!"

What do you call a man driving northbound on the southbound side of a Beijing highway?

Mr Wong Wei.

Have you heard about the controversy regarding asians westernizing their surnames?

Honestly, it’s hard to know who’s White or Wong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke from my grandpa.

It's the second grade and class has just begun. Mrs. Wood is doing a spelling pre-test.

Mrs. Wood: Mike, what does your dad do for work?

Mike: My dad is a plumber.

Mrs. Wood: Can you spell pipe?

Mike: P-I-P-E.

Mrs. Wood: Very good!

Mrs. Wood: Wong, what does...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.