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Introduced Jokes

Gen Z names are so stupid. For instance, a young man introduced himself to me as Jathan..... Not Jason. Not Nathan... Jathan.

I'm not good with remembering names so I try to incorporate them into the conversation to help me to remember. So I said to him

"It's very nice to meet you Jathan."

"That is a very unique name, Jathan."

"Are you from around here Jathan?"

To which he replied

"Wow, a...

A cat owner invited their neighbor over for dinner and introduced their four cats. "That's Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, and Astrophe," they announced. The neighbor was surprised and asked, Where on Earth did you get those names?

Oh, those are their last names, the owner said. Their first names are Cat.

I introduced my girlfriend to my family today.

My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.

A woman named Lorraine Lee introduced her boyfriend, Frank, to her family for the first time.

As Frank greeted Mr. and Mrs. Lee, Lorraine's stunning sister, Claire, whispered something to him. Curious and suspicious, Lorraine decided to check on them and found Frank and Claire in bed together. Lorraine confronted Frank, who pleaded for another chance. Reluctantly, Lorraine agreed, but made i...

Introduced a friend of mine to minimalism

It was the least I could do.

I introduced my friend to Jessica Fletcher

And got charged with accessory to murder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every time I introduce myself, people get mad

I introduced myself to my teacher, and I got suspended. I introduced myself to a pretty girl, and she told me to fuck off. I introduced myself to my neighbor, and he punched me. Maybe there's somebody else named "Yorick Hunt" with a bad reputation out there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The girl took her boyfriend home and introduced him to her parents.

The guy had a bad lunch and was feeling discomfort as he was sitting at the dining table for dinner with her parents.




Suddenly he couldn't control the discomfort, and he farted. At this moment, the girl's father looked at the dog sleeping by the boyfriend's feet and yelled "Jack...

My butcher introduced me to his wife the other day...

He brought her out and said,

"meet patty"

I was introduced to my cell mate and he said,

"You touch my stuff and I will kill you. I catch you staring at me and I will kill you. You touch me and I will kill you."

I thought to myself, "Just got here and I'm already married."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] My new girlfriend just introduced me to her fetish....

I didn't want to tell anyone, but I just had to get this shit off my chest.

So today introduced my girlfriend to my parents

It was a bit strange since they couldnt see her

When they introduced cyberpunk 2077

I didn't get that 2077 was the release date

An 60 guy introduced his friend to his new trophy wife

When they alone without the wife they asked him : "how did you got such a hot wife? "

He said: " i lied about my age"

"did you tell her that you are fifty?" asked one of his friends

"no i told her i am eighty" replied the man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Dad is Glaswegian, I brought my first girlfriend home one day and introduced her, "This is Amanda".

"It's a fucking what!?"

Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me and he said “Hi sir I’m david, nice to meet you”

He put out his hand and I said “David are you nervous?”

He said “no”.

So, I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said “then why are you shaking?”

Edit 1 - Geez; it's the handshake, guys. Come on!

So western cartoons are being introduced to the Middle East

TV execs decided to go with The Flintstones as an initial trial to see how they'll be received.
So far there has been mixed reviews.
People in Dubai don't get the humour at all but by all reports, the people in Abu Dhabi do.

I had to leave my job at the ceramics factory when they introduced the new equestrian range.

It was turning into a horse tile work environment.

I used to have a beautiful house and a lovely car, until my friend introduced me to drugs...

Now, I have a yacht and a Caribbean Island.

I Introduced my GF to my EX

She got upset. I guess she didn't like the mirror.

I Introduced my 20 years younger gf to my family and everyone hated her...

Maybe my wifes birthdayparty was not the right time afterall

I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...

It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.

My local petrol station has newly introduced a 30p charge to use the air to pump up my car tyres

Well I guess that's inflation for you.

On my 18th birthday my friend introduced me to his fit sister.

I was happy to meat her.

The dollar sign ($) was introduced in 1788

It was a simpler time back then. Everyone had common cents

What do cows do when there first introduced?

They give each other a milkshake

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Greeks vs. the Italians A Greek and Italian were debating who has the superior culture.

The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon.”


The Italian says, “We have the Coliseum.”


The Greeks says, “We had great mathematicians and philosophers.”


The Italian says, “We created a world empire and established Pax Romana.”


And so on and so on for hours...

Two strangers are introduced

"you have such a lovely name"

"thanks, I got it for my birthday"

I introduced a miner to some heavy metal.

The Miner really digs the music.

The Indian restaurant down the road introduced a revolting new appetiser to their menu made of bread.

It was a naan-starter for me.

My girlfriend introduced our new baby to my friends.

"Look at those chubby cheeks and bald head," they said.

I said, "Thanks, but we're here to talk about the baby."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two new members of a hunting lodge get introduced to its oldest member.

They ask him to tell his most memorable hunting story, and he does.

“Well, back in 1954 in Africa,” the old man starts, “we were big-game hunting. Didn’t have much luck at first, but on the third day I was resting by a tree when I heard a noise. Next thing I know a huge lion jumps out of the ...

Putin just introduced Russia’s new COVID-19 vaccine. The good news is that it’s 100% effective.

The bad news is that it’s Novichok.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got introduced to a doctor and I asked what field he was in. He said, “Urology”. I didn’t know how to respond…

So I said, “No shit?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around.

The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."

They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a story.

"Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper...

An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper are perched in a tower overlooking the city of Nancy in France during World War 2. They have been lying down, silently staring down the scopes of their rifles for what surely felt like weeks at that point, and after a few hours of inactivity, the Greek sniper sud...

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

And they just loved it. They couldn't make mayonnaise quick enough.

Little known fact, the Titanic had a large vat of mayonnaise that was going to go to Mexico.

Now when the Titanic sunk, and the mayonnaise we...

Psychiatric ward: A new patient is introduced.

Nurse: "Welcome! Would you tell us a little about yourself?"
Patient: "Alright. I am the last prophet among mankind."
Nurse: "Well, ain't that something! Who told you this?"
Patient: "God Himself."
-A deep voice could be heard from one of the patients in the back:
"I never t...

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented motorcycles, eh!" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me…"

God commented, "Well, what a big deal – inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was appare...

My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents.

As if I've never met my own mum and dad before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the beginning of class, the teacher introduced: "Children, today we welcome our new friend from Japan, his name is Suzuki Shakira."

Let start our lesson today by a few quizzes about American history !

\- Who said "Give me liberty or give me death." ?

The whole class was silent, only Suzuki raised his hand:

\- Patrick Henry, Philadelphia,1775.

\- Excellent ! Next one, who said "...government of the peo...

I introduced my new boyfriend to my family last night

Everyone was totally fine with it except for my wife

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Gates in an airport lounge

I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. Whilst in the lounge, I noticed Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she was running a bit late. Being a forward type of guy, I approac...

A republican politician dropped in on a farm and introduced himself as a Republican candidate

And as he tells it the farmer’s eyes lit up and then he said ‘Wait ’til I get my wife. We’ve never seen a Republican before.’ And a few minutes later he was back with his wife and they asked Prentiss if he wouldn’t give them a speech.


Well he looked around for a kind of a podium s...

I walked into a bar and saw this girl wearing a Falcons jersey.

I walked up and introduced myself as, "25 point lead".

"Is that your real name?", she asked.

I said, "No, but I figured anyone wearing a Falcons jersey would blow a 25 point lead."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All-Female Crew As the aircraft was taxiing towards the runway to take off, the voice on the speaker welcomed passengers on board and introduced them to the pilot.

"Your captain is Miss Mary Joystick...."

"You mean to tell me this plane is being piloted by a woman?"asked an alarmed passenger to a stewardess."

"Yes, sir," replied the stewardess. "So is the co-pilot, Miss Jane Understudy. So also are the radio operator and the navigator, they are a...

A 15 year old boy comes home with a Porsche

His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” Demanded his parents. “We know how much a Porsche costs!”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

The parents began to yell e...

A local prison introduced an English Literature course...

.. during the inmates' free time. The thought behind it was that if the prisoners had lessons on great writers such as Joyce, Hemingway, or Poe it would help them express themselves as well as helping with their rehabilitation back into society. Unfortunately, the program failed. It seems that when ...

Many years ago, St. Peter introduced some antimony trisulfide and potassium chlorate to a small stick of wood.

It was a match made in heaven.

The local ice cream shop has introduced a new mixed fruit flavour of ice cream dedicated to the president of the United States

They call it the Im-peached orange.

They say it is good, perhaps the greatest in the history of mixed fruit ice creams.

I introduced science and technology to the frogs in my neighborhood in an attempt to uplift their species.

All of my neighbors are mad at me now because now the frogs only say “rivet”.

A few days ago Apple introduced the new Mac Pro with up to 1.5 TB of RAM...

I can finally use Google Chrome.

My girlfriend introduced me to her father and mentioned I was a knife salesman

He said he’s happy she’s dating me because I must be pretty sharp.

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