Enclose Jokes

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.

So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way... read more

Klaustrophobic

Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".

Kind regards
Channel Four.

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt lik... read more

A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit. Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst. So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars.
The partner was ho... read more

## Letter to the IRS – Oh, if only paying our federal income tax were actually this easy …

Attn: IRS

Enclosed is my current tax return & payment.

Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.... read more

. . . "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my income and have enclosed a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".

A young man goes off to university in a town several hours drive from where his parents live. Two months later, he write to his folks. The letter reads, "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm having a great time! I've enclosed a picture, as you can see I've grown a nice goatee! Don't I look like a Count?"
... read more

In the morning, he went to report the incident, then continued to his work. He came back at night to find the car parked in his driveway, with a note: "Sorry i had to borrow your car because my wife was in labor and i had to use it to take her to emergency. Please accept my sincerest apologies and,... read more

A minister of a church meets with the church council

The council says, “These are dire times. The church only has $5 million and we need about $10 million to survive”.

They all sit quietly, looking sad about this news. The minister then gets up and leaves the room.

The minister ... read more

... And are put up for adoption. One of the twins gets adopted by a Mexican couple and is named Juan. The other twin gets adopted by an Egyptian family and is named Hamal.
Years later their biological mother and father receive a letter from both their children saying how through a bizarre series... read more

A newly married guy from a village went back to the city for his job. He went alone so that he could make living arrangements for him and his wife and then he'd take his wife as well. Once he got a decent apartment, he wrote a letter to his father in the village saying that father, please send my wi... read more

and in his bank account had 300,000 dollars. Being a man that didn't trust wills and didn't want the government to get their hands on the money, he decides to call over his three most trusted people. He calls over his priest, his lawyer, and his doctor and gives them each 100,000 dollars. He then... read more

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine who was keen to show me his private collection of rare tree and plant species. I wasn’t particularly interested but I went along anyway because he was really excited to show me the newest addition to his collection.
“It’s a unique species of oak... read more

It was the end of the year, and a young lad decided to ask his girlfriend to prom.

Of course she wanted to go; dressing up, music, dancing, and showing off her boyfriend.

So he went to wait in line to buy tickets.
He needed some formal wear, so he went out shopping, found the right ... read more

On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed "Deepest Sympathy". While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card.
"Oh, it's alright." said the s... read more

That accidentally caught an eagle porpoise - a rare species of porpoise (though not endangered) that inhabits the waters off Southern Mexico to Peru (ie, the Pacific coast). This species has a down-turned snout ideal for catching bottom-dwelling mollusks (octopi and squid) that inhabit the reefs and... read more

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Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest
convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

That's what we're afraid of ...

===============================================... read more