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A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating as to who is the greatest of them all. Boob: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest. Vagina: I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest.

Now it’s your turn to speak.

Babies shouldn't be delivered.

Livers are important.

Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?

Because two wongs don’t make a white.

How many babies dose it take to stop a freight train

I don’t know I’m still counting.

A woman seated while flying in economy and holding her baby in her arms, was startled when the man sitting behind her bent forward to say "Ma'am that is one ugly baby you have there!"

The woman, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, was so shocked she could barely retort "Well I ... I never!"

The man continued: "I'm just being honest with you ma'am, I mean, I've seen some ugly babies in my time, but yours is a real showstopper".

Quite overwhelmed, the woman called a fligh...

Jesus can walk on the water, babies are 86% water, I can walk ln babies, therefore I am...

In Prison

Whenever someone talks about taking baby steps

I like to imagine them walking up a staircase made of babies.


A mother has two babies, and she breastfeed them everyday

During breastfeeding, each baby would suckle on one of her nipples.

One day, one of the baby came up with a scheme to murder his brother, thinking that he would get more milk to himself that way. So, he secretly applied poison to the his brother's "nipple".

Little did he know, his br...

A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40.

I said no, 40 babies are enough.

The stork is the bird that helps deliver babies. What bird helps prevent pregnancy?

The swallow.

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There are 4 cows. 1 mom, 3 babies.

The first baby walks up to her and says, “ Mommy, why am I called Rose?” Mama says, “ Its because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head.” The second baby walks up and says, “Mommy, why is my name Lily?” Mama says, “ That is because when you were born, a lily petal fell on your head.” Th...

What’s worse than five babies in a dumpster?

One baby in five dumpsters.

Teaching babies to walk is hard

But you just gotta take in one step at a time

What's the deal with babies?

They're up in arms until they're up in arms!

How do mathematicians make babies?

They have sec(x).

If storks bring human babies, what brings giant babies?


At what temperature are babies born?

About womb temperature.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw em

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How many dead babies does it take to change the light bulb?

At least more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

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What’s the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.)

I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting babies

Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby.

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