I don't always joke about stillborn Greek gods...

...but when I do, it's all about dead Pan delivery.

I was a stillborn child

My mother didn't want me but I was still born

What do you call a stillborn grizzly cub?

Unbearable

A woman is giving birth.

A doctor is delivering a baby. He's telling the mother to push.

"Push!! Push!! I can see the head!"

The mother is straining to get the baby out with all she's got. The baby starts to come out and the doctor continues to yell her her to push.

The baby finally comes out into the d...

I told my son he can be whatever he wants...

he decided to become stillborn :/

A lady is giving birth. After she pushes and pushes,

the baby is born.
Doctor: "Mam, I have good news and bad news.
Lady: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: your baby has red hair.
Lady: Thank goodness! What's the good news!
Doctor: It's stillborn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman delivers a baby

The doctor takes the baby, throws it against the wall, smashes it against the hospital equipment, drop-kicks it, etc. The mom starts freaking out, is being held back by nurses screaming "WHYYYYYYY THE FUCK???!?!?"


The doctor then suddenly stops, holds the baby upside down by the ankle a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man sits anxiously in the waiting room of a hospital while his wife is giving birth.

After a while, the doctor walks in with a big smile on his face, holding the baby. He suddenly trips, dropping the baby. He then proceeds to kick it a few times, grabs it by the arm and smashes its head on the wall. He finally rolls the remains into a tiny balls and slam dunks it into the waste bask...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the hospital. You see, inside was his dear wife, about to give birth to their first child. The Chicken was, of course, rather excited. "I'm about to become a Dad!" he thought to himself, racing down the white, squeaky corridors of the hospital.

He burst into the maternity ward's wai...

The Doctor comes out of the delivery room into the waiting room, holding the newborn infant girl, and says to the father excitedly,

"Oh my goodness, you won't believe it! Your daughter was born with the most incredible powers! She can fly, watch!"

The Doctor then proceeds to give the baby a little toss into the air, where it comes down with a sickening thud.

"OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?", the father screams, horr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is at work when he receives a call from the hospital, where his pregnant wife is.

Doctor: Is this Mr.Smith?

Smith: Yes, what is the problem?

Doctor: Sir, your wife is in labour, get here immediately!

Smith races to the hospital, runs into the waiting room where the doctor is waiting.

Smith: Where is she? How is my baby?!

Doctor: She is okay sir,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple is expecting their first born child...

It's a beautiful spring day and the mother is sleeping after a long delivery. The doctor walks in holding the baby and announces that it's a baby boy.

The father asks, "Can I hold him?" and the doctor replies "Of course, but I have to run a few tests first, its routine you understand".
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is about to see his first child for the first time

A man is waiting to see his first born child for the very first time when a doctor runs up to him and says, "Dude! You are not going to believe this! You're baby can fly!" The new father is like, "No way! I have to see this." They run into the nursery and the doctor picks up the baby and drops out f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super baby

A man was sitting outside his wife's hospital room while she was giving birth. Finally, after half an hour of anxious anticipation, the doctor emerges from the ward holding the baby in his arms.

"Congratulations Mr Smith, it's a boy. Not only that, this baby has super powers!"

The man,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The world would be a much better place if people like Adolf Hitler were still born.

EDIT: typo, 'stillborn'

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.