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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

If a co worker is sick, is it considered a staff infection?

I really just came up with this joke all by myself, this is a big moment for me.

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Why did God invent yeast infections?

So women could find out what it's like to live with an annoying cunt!

Went to the doctor for an ear infection and now I’ve found out I’m actually going deaf.

That news was pretty hard to hear.

What do you call a red head with a yeast infection

A ginger bread house

I saw an ill Raven on the side of the road, and took it to a vet.

After a few tests, the vet tells me that it has a viral infection, and to put on a mask.

Turns out it had Crowvid.

-Sir, you have a bladder infection.

-What’s that?

-Urine trouble, sir.

Tractor ain't working

A horse peed on my tractor the other day and now it won't run. Seems it's come down with a urinary tractor infection.

Did you hear about the coronavirus infection rate spiralling out of control in the Irish capital?

It's Dublin.

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Is it true that dogs have bacteria in their mouths that can cause infections?

And on an unrelated note, does anyone know where i can buy peanutbutter flavoured condoms?

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I'm happy to say I am now free of all sexually transmitted diseases..

They are now called sexually transmitted infections.

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What infection can you get for having nasal sex?

Sniffilis

What did the doctor say to the patient suffering from a bacterial infection?

Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well

What’s the funniest infection?

Athlete’s foot. It causes the feet to crack up.

The real reason all the libraries are closing is not to help stop the spread of infection.

Its becuase after all the toilet paper was gone, people all started to check out the books with 1000+ pages

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Yo Mama...

...is so nasty, I had phone sex with her and she gave me an ear infection.

TIL Severe Yeast Infections Can Lead to Pregnancy

You could end up with a bun in the oven!

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Introducing: The Karen Infection Collection toy line!

*Wheeze with laughter through your ventilator as you watch your children make short-term memories with... The Karen Infection Collection!*

*They'll love spending their last days playing with their new favorite toys, like Protestor Pete - who comes with accessories like a vial of crocodile tea...

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Reality

Letter from Daughter to Parents

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,please sit d...

A friend of mine, a mathematician, told me he has long term effects after his COVID-19 infection. "Do you have difficulties breathing?" I asked him.

"No," he said, "I stopped reducing fractions."

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A man takes a walk with his new girlfriend who he's been dating for three months

About 20 minutes into the walk, they pass a park and see two bunnies mating. The woman says "how does the male bunny know that the female bunny is ready for sex?" The man says "it's natural, the male can smell it".

The couple continues to walk for another 20 minutes and they pass a forest whe...

I got a highly contagious viral infection from online communities.

It must be all those social media influenzas.

I live in MD and the governor is all “Don't go to the bar. Don't meet up with your friends. Don't come home with an infection.”

Honestly, Gov. Larry Hogan is starting to sound like my wife.

How did Alice feel when her doctor told her she is genetically more likely to develop a yeast infection?

Thrush-traited

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An obituary

Sad news: It is with great sadness that we report the passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy. The cause of his death was from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in his belly.
Doughboy was buried in a greased coffin, with the gravesite piled high with flours.
Dozens of celebrit...

What did the doctor say to the man with a serious urinary tract infection?

Urine trouble

Did you hear about the group of Kansas City football players who all contracted skin infections while smoking marijuana?

The Joint Chiefs of Staph

Doctor told me I have viral eye infection...

Must be the cornea virus

In the distant past your limbs would simply be cut off if you got an infection

This was the med-evil period

My girlfriend constantly suffers from urinary tract infections

I told her she put the uti in cutie.

"China reports no new coronavirus local infections!" says a Chinese national to random strangers on the Internet

"But Hong Kong and Taiwan are still reporting in new cases" replied the random guy on the Internet.

"No… Hong Kong and Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…"

Vaginal yeast infections

Will make the south rise again!

I never thought I'd have a fungal infection

But then it grew on me.

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I just got an eye infection for rubbing it too hard.

I guess I can’t masturbate for awhile now.

The moment we find out dogs really could sniff out coronavirus infections...

We'd ask WHO, let the dogs out! WHO! WHO!

COVID 19 infection is asymptomatic in children, but has an elevated fatality rate among the elderly.

They should call it "KO Boomer."

Did you hear about the pregnant redhead with a yeast infection?

She just gave birth to a healthy baby gingerbread man.

Did you hear about the doctor that ignored an eye infection and went blind?

He examined himself, but couldn't see anything wrong.

I sure am getting tired of this infection in my chest but I can’t even be mad at the bacteria

I mean, home is where the heart is after all

What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection?

LeBronchitis

My elevator has an ear infection

It must be Otistis

So there's only one state with no confirmed coronavirus infections, do you know which one it is?

The state of denial

What do you call a cabbage patch doll with a yeast infection?

Saurkrout

Me and my infections finally got together

and had a staff meeting

Now that there are confirmed infections in The White House, Donald Trump is getting a COVID-19 and an IQ test every day...

So far all tests have come back negative.

News: A Major Fashion Label Releases a Cream for Yeast Infections

It's called "Gucci Coochie Goo".

My brother swears that he has to stay horizontal due to an ear infection and that it's therefore not unreasonable to expect me to cook all his meals.

I'm not sure whether I believe him though as he lies a lot.

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