This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did god create the yeast infection?

To remind women what it’s like to live with a miserable cunt.

Went to the doctor for an ear infection and now I’ve found out I’m actually going deaf.

That news was pretty hard to hear.

What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Did you hear about the coronavirus infection rate spiralling out of control in the Irish capital?

It's Dublin.

If a co worker is sick, is it considered a staff infection?

I really just came up with this joke all by myself, this is a big moment for me.

What do you call a red head with a yeast infection

A ginger bread house

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is it true that dogs have bacteria in their mouths that can cause infections?

And on an unrelated note, does anyone know where i can buy peanutbutter flavoured condoms?

TIL Severe Yeast Infections Can Lead to Pregnancy

You could end up with a bun in the oven!

-Sir, you have a bladder infection.

-What’s that?

-Urine trouble, sir.

What’s the funniest infection?

Athlete’s foot. It causes the feet to crack up.

Vaginal yeast infections

Will make the south rise again!

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A man takes a walk with his new girlfriend who he's been dating for three months

About 20 minutes into the walk, they pass a park and see two bunnies mating. The woman says "how does the male bunny know that the female bunny is ready for sex?" The man says "it's natural, the male can smell it".

The couple continues to walk for another 20 minutes and they pass a forest whe...

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What infection can you get for having nasal sex?

Sniffilis

Did you hear about the group of Kansas City football players who all contracted skin infections while smoking marijuana?

The Joint Chiefs of Staph

The real reason all the libraries are closing is not to help stop the spread of infection.

Its becuase after all the toilet paper was gone, people all started to check out the books with 1000+ pages

My girlfriend constantly suffers from urinary tract infections

I told her she put the uti in cutie.

"China reports no new coronavirus local infections!" says a Chinese national to random strangers on the Internet

"But Hong Kong and Taiwan are still reporting in new cases" replied the random guy on the Internet.

"No… Hong Kong and Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…"

What did the doctor say to the patient suffering from a bacterial infection?

Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well

The moment we find out dogs really could sniff out coronavirus infections...

We'd ask WHO, let the dogs out! WHO! WHO!

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Introducing: The Karen Infection Collection toy line!

*Wheeze with laughter through your ventilator as you watch your children make short-term memories with... The Karen Infection Collection!*

*They'll love spending their last days playing with their new favorite toys, like Protestor Pete - who comes with accessories like a vial of crocodile tea...

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A man with anal infection went to the doctor,the doctor said "the only cure that exist, is to stick a cucumber in your butthole"

so the man went back home to his wife, explained to her what happened, and asked her to help him out.

man: "honey you should do as the doctor instructed me to do"

wife: "okay, what should I do?"

man: "hold one butt cheek with your left hand and, the other with your right hand,...

How did Alice feel when her doctor told her she is genetically more likely to develop a yeast infection?

Thrush-traited

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The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday...

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.


The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.


Doughboy is ...

I got a highly contagious viral infection from online communities.

It must be all those social media influenzas.

What did the doctor say to the man with a serious urinary tract infection?

Urine trouble

Doctor told me I have viral eye infection...

Must be the cornea virus

So there's only one state with no confirmed coronavirus infections, do you know which one it is?

The state of denial

Me and my infections finally got together

and had a staff meeting

I never thought I'd have a fungal infection

But then it grew on me.

In the distant past your limbs would simply be cut off if you got an infection

This was the med-evil period

Hey girl, are you a urinary tract infection?

‘Cuz ur-in-ate out of 10

News: A Major Fashion Label Releases a Cream for Yeast Infections

It's called "Gucci Coochie Goo".

During WWII a badly injured British pilot has to bail out over occupied France.

He's found, in very bad shape, and transferred to the medical wing of a German prisoner of war camp. After a week, the doctors tell him that the infection in his left leg means they're going to have to amputate. "OK," says the airman. "Just, if you would, do me one favour. Drop the leg over my airba...

COVID 19 infection is asymptomatic in children, but has an elevated fatality rate among the elderly.

They should call it "KO Boomer."

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I just got an eye infection for rubbing it too hard.

I guess I can’t masturbate for awhile now.

One thing at a time.

Once upon a time, a little old lady went to the doctor.

She said, "Doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I've had an constant problem with flatulence for weeks now. It's not much inconvenience, because they're quiet, and they don't stink, but I've farted 4 times just while I explained this to ...

Did you hear about the pregnant redhead with a yeast infection?

She just gave birth to a healthy baby gingerbread man.

What did the urologist say when she suddenly discovered a cure for Urinary Tract Infections?

Urethra!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to the doctor because of blue balls.

He comes in to the doctors office and says

"Doctor! Doctor! One of my balls is completely blue! It doesn't hurt, but im really afraid"

The Doctor looks at the patients testicle and agrees that it doesn't look very good. The doctor decides to be on the safe side and removes the patien...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross the cabbage patch doll and the pillsbury doe boy?

A ugly little bitch with a yeast infection

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman comes home from the Gynecologist

She tells her husband “The doctor says I have an infection, and I can’t put anything in there for two weeks, so no sex”

Her husband says “well what did your dentist say?”

I sure am getting tired of this infection in my chest but I can’t even be mad at the bacteria

I mean, home is where the heart is after all

Did you hear about the doctor that ignored an eye infection and went blind?

He examined himself, but couldn't see anything wrong.

My brother swears that he has to stay horizontal due to an ear infection and that it's therefore not unreasonable to expect me to cook all his meals.

I'm not sure whether I believe him though as he lies a lot.

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