I would make a joke about newborns

But the delivery would be too painful

What’s a group of chubby newborns called?

Heavy infantry

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

I said some terrible things about my coworkers newborn

She said he was a week old baby and I thought we were roasting him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is it so common to circumsize newborns in America?

They're taught from the youngest age to leave a tip

Shooting newborns in the maternity ward is just low.

Spawnkillers are absolute scum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't Vegans breastfeed their newborns?

Because nobody will have sex with them.

What's a newborns favorite A/C setting?

Womb temperature.

They say in order to help with bonding newborns take on characteristics of their fathers.

Sure enough, my son was born with large features, a furrowed brow, and complained about nerve damage from his knee surgery.

A young man asks the Chief how he picks the newborns names.

A young man approached the chief of his village with a question. He said "Wise cheif, you are in charge of naming every child in this village. How do you go about choosing the names for your people?" The Cheif heard the question and without saying a word walked over to a small window in the tent and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[long] A pregnant woman was standing in line at a bank.

All of a sudden a masked man bursts through the front door waving a gun wildly around. He shouts that he is robbing the bank and that everyone in it is now his hostages. The police soon arrive and in the ensuing stand off shots were exchanged from both sides, the woman was struck three times in her ...

Toddlers can be pleasant.

But newborns could be placenta.

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