Womb Jokes

Womb temperature.

"bomb" be pronounced "BOOM".

I hope that blew your minds.

"BOOM"



I hope that blew your minds

A slow-cooker.

Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?

I realized that she was mid-wife.

I guess that makes sense because I wasn’t paying rent

I believe in calling a spayed, a spayed.

They come out a little bit CRISPR!

The judge turns to the father and asks: "and what is your claim?"
The man, smiling, says calmly: "Your honour, when I put a coin in the vending machine, the coke that comes out is mine or the machine's?"

FEETUS

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” The third one says, “I wanna be a boxer.” The others look con... read more

They get on the topic of what they want to be when they are born and grow up.

The first baby says: "when I get older, I want to be a molder of young minds! A teacher is what I'm aiming for."

The second baby says: "when I'm a adult, I want to heal and save people! I'll be a doctor." ... read more

Centrifetal

You get a womb with a view

until the doctors pulled me out of the womb.

I said, "It's likely womb-temperature."

Womb temperature!

That makes more sense, dozen ?

I was in the womb. I'm not evil.

I said, “Nah, it’s probably womb temperature.”

...and her dream was for her baby to grow up with perfect manners.

So everyday, she would gently rub her belly whilst repeating the line, "Be polite. Be polite."

But a strange thing happened.

After 9 months, the baby showed no signs of coming out.

After a year the woma... read more

One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."


The Second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the womb to the tomb."


Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the sperm to the worm."


The fourth insurance company re... read more

Would an ipod nano or shuffle be easier to get up there?

Because they’ve been running out of womb.

Ugh, get a womb.

Womb temperature.

(I hope this isn't technically a Rule 6 violation)

Mazda is suffering in car sales, and so begins some new lines of products and tag lines.

They get into gardening, bloom bloom,

The military, boom boom,

Condoms, coom coom,

Textiles, loom loom,

Psychedelics,... read more

An "at," since they lack wombs.

Womb-temperature.

…who didn’t have a mother.

But then I remember they got a womb with a view.

A womb-mate

He terrified all his clients at the end of the session when he said
"And you're back in the womb"

Fruit of the womb!

A womb-bat.

A breakout womb.

A woman goes to a cafe and takes a seat outside. While she's eating, she overhears a group of men at the next table.

"Look, let's go with the simple option. It's spelled W-O-O-M."

"No, I'm sure there's an R in there. W-O-O-M-R."

"I thought it was longer than that, and had a B. W... read more

They run out of womb.

A Womb Raider!!!

PS: Quarantine = Time for Dad jokes

Right away the doctor says "I want to talk about the elephant in the womb"

I have a womb buddy.

...It’s like, get a womb for god sake

Fruit of the womb.

She is running out of womb.

She had a womb with a view.

There was no womb in the inn.


Happy holidays!

She is called the Womb Raider

Turns out she was womb-temperature.

Womb Service

Womb temperature.

Womb Raider

She just sat in her womb all day.

"Toom," the teacher said. The kid repeated.
Next the teacher pulled out a science textbook, and pointed to a mother's womb.
"Woom," the teacher said. The kid repeated this again.

Suddenly a man walked in with a bomb.
"BOOM" yelled the kid excitedly.

Wife: "How does he look?"

Doctor: "This is honestly the biggest baby I've ever seen."

Husband: "So we're finally talking about the elephant in the womb."

Doctor:

Wife: "I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer."

There's not enough womb!

A reporter is doing a story on prenatal conditioning. He gets contact from a group of brothers who vouch for the phenomenon as having had an effect on them.

"I'm a jazz saxophonist." The first brother says. "My mother played Charlie Parker for me while I was in the womb, and she could feel me... read more

I said to them " you two, go get a womb."



Credit goes to a friend of mine for this dad joke lol.

A womb with a view.

came to my front door today. He was giving away a coupon for either free cologne or a free abortion. When I confronted him about it, he simply explained "Eidah way, you're gonna clear tha womb."

It's all about being acclimated to the womb temperature.

A womb-ba

I guess they didn't like that I applied to be the womb raider.

So a man and woman are getting a divorce and are in court fighting for custody of their child. The judge ask the woman why should you get the the kid and she is saying how she was in labor and held the child in her womb.. The judge says good argument now Mr. Jones your argument.. He sits there and t... read more

It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks
a year, from before you leave the womb, right up until you find religion.

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?


"Womb-mates"

There wasn't enough womb for the two of them!

At womb temperature!