Two identical twin brothers, George and Ted, turned 100. George's hearing was just as good as ever, but Ted was slightly deaf.

An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers' picture. "I'm going to take your picture," she said.

"What did she say?" asked Ted. "She says she's going to take our picture," replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Ins...

When you’re telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you tell them the entire thing.

Because you just can’t tell them a part.

A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol

Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubb...

Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries a photo of one of them because…

…if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins.

After much consideration they decide that the best thing for the baby boys would be to give them up for adoption so that they can have a better shot in life. One boy goes to a Spanish family who name him Juan, the second goes to an Indian family who name him Amal.

18 years pass when the birth...

Identical Twins

A teenage girl gave birth to identical twin boys. As she realized she was not ready to take care of young children, let alone 2 boys, she made the difficult decision to give them up for adoption.

The boys were adopted immediately. One of them was adopted by a lovely Egyptian family who decide...

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.

It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met.

I was beside myself.

A woman has identical twins, and gives them up for adoption.

One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said: "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, yo...

Did you hear about the identical twin police officers?

They were copies.

Very few people know the scientific term for identical twins.

Fetus Repeatus.

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I just got fucked by identical twins.

It was a doppelgängbang.

I once had a threesome with identical twins.

Guess that makes me a dopplebanger.

A Spanish woman was married to an Arabic man when they discovered they were going to have identical twin boys.

After much discussion, it was decided that one should be named after his paternal grandfather Amal and the other after his maternal grandfather Juan.

Years go by ...

The boys and their mom are at the grocery store one day when the boys were about 6 yrs old. As the mom was looking at...

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My girlfriend has an identical twin, but I know how to keep them apart.

She has long brown hair

And her brother has a penis

what do we call a pair of identical twin cats?

Duplicats

“My wife’s identical twin sister is living with us till she finds a job”

I said to my friend

He asked “ do you know how to tell them apart ?”

I remarked “ why should I ?”

Identical twins, given up at birth are separated and adopted by 2 different families.

One family takes one of the twins back to their home in Mexico and the other boy is sent to live with a family in Egypt.

Years later the birth parents receive a letter from their son in Mexico and inside the letter is a picture of him.

Ecstatic, the husband runs to his wife to show h...

A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption

One of the twin boys is adopted by a family in Spain and is named Juan. The other boy is adopted by a family in Egypt, who name him Jamal.

Years later, her son Juan connects with her and sends him a picture of himself with his family.

Feeling moved and happy that Juan is doing well, ...

If I had an identical twin...

I would have him discreetly follow me around whenever I'm hanging out with a girl. If she ever asks me "Are you single?", he will jump out of the bushes and say, "No, I'm double."

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There are two identical twin brothers that live together.

One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After so...

What do you call Identical Twin Brothers who choose a life of crime?

Cell Mates

Two redditors give birth to identical twins

They marvel at how beautiful the first kid is. "This is the cutest thing I have ever seen."

When they saw the second baby, they had only a single word to describe their reaction.

"Repost."

A set of identical twins are separated at birth

A mother in Italy was unable to keep her babies, she had two identical twin boys. Unfortunately she couldn’t find a family to take both children so two separate families each took one of the boys. One of the families was from Lebanon and named their son “Amal”. The other family was from Spain and...

My neighbours have two sons - identical twins names Jamal and Juan.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

A Mexican woman gave birth to identical twins and gave them up for adoption...

A couple from another state was looking to adopt twins, so they called and asked for more information. The lady at the adoption agency emailed a pic of one of the boys, along with the details.

"You only sent one picture," the wife says. "Where's his brother?"

"Don't worry," says the la...

A girl gives birth to identical twins but has to give them up for adoption.......

One is adopted by a Spanish family and they call him Juan, the other gets adopted by an Indian family and they decide to call him Amahl.
Years go by and one day the mother, full of regret, decides she wants to know what became of her sons so she goes to the adoption agency and...

Know what's the best part about my supervisor having an identical twin?

I get to watch him die twice.

Two identical twins separated at birth...

... And are put up for adoption. One of the twins gets adopted by a Mexican couple and is named Juan. The other twin gets adopted by an Egyptian family and is named Hamal.
Years later their biological mother and father receive a letter from both their children saying how through a bizarre series...

Identical twins were put up for adoption and separated at birth...

...20 years later, their biological parents decided to find and meet them.

After many hours of research, they discovered that one child had been adopted by a middle-eastern family and had been named Amal Allamedan, while the other boy had been adopted by a family in Chile and had been named...

Identical Twins

A woman gave birth to identical twin boys.
She and her husband named them Amal and Juan.
However, being a poor family in a third world country, raising two children wasn't feasible, so the couple had to give one child up for adoption, and they chose Amal.
Many years later, the father became...

A scientist couple had identical twins...

They named one Peter and the other one Control Group.

My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.

But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences.

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Arab man and and his Mexican wife have identical twin boys..

They decide to name the twins after their fathers. The Arab man's father was named Amal, and his Mexican wife's father's name was Juan. To celebrate the twins' tenth birthday, they go to an amusement park. While standing in line for a funnel cake, the parents realize their sons are nowhere to be ...

Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank?

After they were caught, they finished each other's sentences.

Doctor twin visits pastor twin

A couple has identical twin sons.

After they finish school, they go to separate cities for university: one studies medicine and eventually gets his MD degree; the other decides to become a man of the cloth and gets his DD (Doctor of Divinity).

The doctor settles down near the city wher...

Quasimodo Part 2

After Quasimodo’s funeral the next Sunday, his identical twin brother Farsimodo that no one knew he had was so distraught that he vowed to take up his brother’s mantle. Realizing that the funeral got out right before he had to ring the bells for the first time, he made a mad dash for the spires of ...

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Mike and Mark

Mike and Mark are identical twin brothers.

Mike is a really good guy. Helps his friends in need, visits their mother regularly and is a pillar of their community.

Mark is a real ass. Self-centered, steals from his friends ignores their mother and is an all around douche bag.

...

Did you know Juan the horse has a brother named jamal?

Nothing really special, they're identical twins.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal

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Twin jokes

I used to date an identical twin in college. The best part of it was that there were pretty much two of them due to the fact they looked exactly alike. My friends and family would joke and tease me all the time about how I can tell either of them apart. Never mind the beauty of my girlfriend at the ...

What movies teach us:

AMERICAN MOVIES TEACH US:

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.

2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote basketball / baseball.

4. Aliens have specia...

Twins

Two identical twins run around from the mother at the supermarket.
The mom, after looking around for long, finds one of them. She holds him tight:
"Where is you brother?" she asks furiously.
"Mom," the little boy answers, "it's me."

A joke my grandfather told me

As you may know, many small churches in England have bell towers. Well, the bellringer for one such church, upon reaching retirement age, quit his position, leaving a job opening. Unfortunately, the demand for such a job was low and the bellringer position remained empty for several weeks. Eventuall...

I think the hospital accidentally switched our kids at birth!

They're identical twins, so it's hard to be sure.

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A woman had twin boys

Unfortunately, she was unable to keep them, so she put them up for adoption. She was able to find loving homes for both of them overseas, but it was many years since she had seen them.

Then, just before their 21st birthday she got two letters, one from Egypt, the other from Spain. Each son ha...

A woman gets accidentally pregnant as a teenager and ends up giving birth to twin boys...

Unfortunately, she is forced to give them up for adoption since she doesn't have the resources to support them, and the father wants nothing to do with them since he is a teenager himself. In the hope that she will get to see them some day, she leaves her personal information with the adoption agenc...

Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage

Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.

A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
"Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce," the judge said.

"Well, Your Honor," Tony began, "periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and...

I see your multilevel meta joke and raise you a two-tiered joke.

Quasimodo was in the steeple of Notre Dame looking down on the town when he noticed a man running to the ladder of the steeple. There was something odd about the man, but from a distance, Quasimodo couldn't distinguish what it was. The man climbed the ladder, and it was evident - he had no arms. ...

Carrie and Cari

A Korean, Ohn Min-Jin, marries an American. They have identical twins and choosing to double down on similarities, they name them "Cari" and "Carrie". The sisters, as they age, are inseparable. As best friends, they even take vacations together.

On one trip, while at the airport, Cari wat...

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Twin Brothers

There once was a set of identical twin brothers. One

lived a godly life. He was a good husband and

father, reputable businessman, and did lots of

community service. The other one was a hell-raiser.

He drank, cheated on his wife, stole and lied. They

both died a...

The bell ringer at a church dies...

So they put out an ad for a new ringer, and on the first day a guy shows up for the job. He climbs the bell tower, and rather unexpectedly, he runs and jumps and hits the bell with his face. He continues to ring the bell this way for the rest of the time. The priest thinks it's weird but whatever, h...

There once was a Nike shoe.

There once was a Nike shoe.

He lived with his wife who was also a Nike shoe and together they had identical twins, an adorable pair of two left Nike shoes.

But Nike shoe wasn’t happy. You see, he hated his job--the mundane monotony of never being the shoe he knew he could be. One day...

I was at this bar once..

and the bartenders were identical twins. The only way to tell them apart was that one of the brothers had a freakishly small head. After talking for a while I finally asked him what was up with is appearance. He looks around, lowers his voice and says "once I was walking down a beach and found a lam...

Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.

Mary asks "Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?"


"Garcia?" Sue responds. "No, but I think I've seen his brother Juan"

Mary replies "They're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

An Irishman walks into a talent agency

and he says to the judge, "Hey, I've got this great double act I want to show you." The judge, perplexed says, "Uh, well there's only one of you." Suddenly, the Irishman's identical twin brother jumps out from behind him and the judge remarks, "Two Shay."

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