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Conjoined Twin Jokes

I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

Why did the conjoined twins move to England?

So the other one could drive.

When I first realised I was a conjoined twin.....

I was beside myself!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I pissed off two men today because I referred to them as hipsters..

Apparently the correct term is 'conjoined twins'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My conjoined twin told me a great joke earlier.

It was so funny, I almost pissed himself.

I went on a date with a pair of conjoined twins

(You: “did you have a good time?”)

Ehhh... yes and no....

My father was a conjoined twin so his brother was ...

My uncle on my fathers side

I met conjoined twins and I'm not sure which one I like more.

They're neck and neck.

My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pair of conjoined twins went to see the psychiatrist. Twin A confessed to wanting to have sex with twin B. The shrink responded...

Hey, you do you.

Mum hated that it was illegal to hit me as a child, so she gave birth to conjoined twins…

I guess if you can’t beat ‘em…

Why did the conjoined twins travel from America to England?

So the other one could finally drive.

——————-

(Source: heard it in _Man on the Moon_ movie)

What did the conjoined twins change their dating profile to after surgery?

Recently Separated

My SO just left me for a guy with a conjoined twin.

She says he's twice the man I am.

Why do the conjoined twins travel to London?

...so the other twin gets the chance to drive a car =(

Two conjoined twins, attached by the face, have successfully been separated today.

Since the operation they've done nothing but argue.

Having once been so close, they no longer see eye to eye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just figured out why I'm a virgin.

It's because my conjoined twin is really ugly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boss said I do the work of two people.

My conjoined twin is a lazy bastard.

TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined twins.

Well it is side-splitting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes into a bar

where he meets a pair of conjoined twins who are joined at the side. They hit it off and proceed to booze the night away. Closing time comes around and they decide to tak the party back to his house. He gets in the door and the twins immediately drop and one starts blowing him while the other tounge...

PSA: the term “Hipsters” is politically incorrect and is considered an offensive slur in many circles

Please use the medically-recommended term “conjoined twins” instead.

A three legged man walks into a bar.

Bartender looks at him and asked, conjoined twin?

No thanks, I'll just have a whiskey.

Sometimes self-care means cutting out toxic people.

If you ever met my conjoined twin, Your Honor, I think you'd understand.

A guy is talking to two women in a bar...

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be
conjoined twins and they wind up back at his apartment.

He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what she'd like to do.

She sa...

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