Hedgehog Jokes - 52 Hilarious Hedgehog Jokes

During Ramadan, Sonic the Hedgehog is a Muslim

Because he's gotta go fast.

A toothpick saw a hedgehog.

“Oh wow, a bus.” It says.

How do hedgehogs reproduce ?

Carefully.

So. Hedgehogs.

Why can't they just share the hedge?

How do you stop Sonic the Hedgehog from running?

Elect some other candidate in the primaries.

My friend adopted a hedgehog.

My joy turned into disappointment when he said he named it mario.

Why did the hedgehog and the squirrel stop being friends?

The hedgehog was too prickly and the squirrel was too nutty

The lion decided to invite everyone to his birthday party. But, him being the king, he ordered everybody to bring him meat as a present, or else he will hit them with his massive dong. And soon, the day came and all the animals lined up infront of the lion's cave with their presents.

The Wolf wanted to gift the King lamb, the fox had a chicken, the leopard an antilope, and so on...The lion greeted all of his guests and welcomed them to the party. Suddenly, the rabbit stood infront of him with a carrot. All guests went silent. The lion looked him in the eyes and said: " You know...

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How does a hedgehog have ?

Very carefully

Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate...

A daddy hedgehog is teaching his sons how to cross a road

He explains 'if you see a car coming, go to the middle and curl up in a ball, it will pass right over you.' He then demonstrates, walking across the road and, when a car comes, curling up into a ball and letting it pass safely over the top, and then heading to the other side.

He then tells th...

My garden has been invaded by hedgehogs.

Pricks.

Heard this the other day, also the one about the hedgehog....

A chicken walks into the library and says: "bok bok", So the librarian hands him a book. She takes it, goes away and the next day comes back.

The chicken again says "bok bok", and the librarian hands him new books. Away she went. The third day, chicken says "bok bok bok", and the libr...

Hedgehogs...

Why can't they just share the hedge?

One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)

What do you get when you cross a pokemon with a hedgehog

Regrets

So there's this matchstick climbing up

On the hill. And it's all sweaty because it's exhausted. Nearly at the top of the hill, there is a hedgehog walking by and the matchstick goes

"Ohh! If only I had known there was a bus, I would have taken the bus."

Yeah I know a hedgehog

Honestly? Bit of a .

What's the difference between a hedgehog and an Audi?

The pricks are inside the audi

What do you get when an hedgehog and a Snake make a child

Barbed wire

What do you call a movie with Sonic the Hedgehog, and Curious George?

2 Fast 2 Curious

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A deer had a bar. One day, he found the toilet window broken, so he asked the patrons "Who broke the window!?"

A hare responded "I kinda did..."

The deer asked "What do you mean by "kinda"?"

The hare says: "Well, I was taking a dump and after the bear finished his, he took me and tried to wipe his , but then he saw I wasn't toilet paper and threw me right out of the window".

The deer...

The bunny jogging

A bunny is running through the forest and he meets a hedgehog, who's smoking a joint, so the bunny says:

"Hedgehog noo, don't do it, drugs are dangerous, come to run with me in the forest!"

The hedgehog convinced by the bunny runs with him.
They run and they meet a bluetit w...

What do you call someone who buys up the garden store's entire stock of shrubbery?

A hedgehog!

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A little hedgehog and an

A little happy hedgehog walks through a sunny forest, carrying an apple on his spines. Birds sing, sky's blue, and the apple will be delicious, so the little hedgehog sings happily on his stroll.

But suddenly a cold wind rises. Sky darkens, veiled by black clouds. Rumble of thunders is heard,...

Two toothpicks are walking through the forest

they come across a hedgehog. Says one to the other "Look, a bus!"

Scientists have finally discovered the secret of longevity of hedgehogs...

...It turns out, there is no secret. They don't even live that long.

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The woodland animals built themselves a public toilet.

All went well for the first couple of weeks, then one morning as the toilet committee were inspecting the toilet, they found that one of the windows was smashed. They asked all the animals what had happened, and the rabbit said, "Last night the bear was taking a , and the toilet was out of paper...

What's worse than an elephant in the china shop?

A hedgehog in the condom factory.

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A family of three catches a goldfish

The fish tells them that if they let it go, he will grant each one a wish. The mom and dad decide to let their kid go first with the wish.

Kid: "I want a hedgehog"

Father: A MOTHERFUCKING hedgehog?

Mother: GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OF ME!

And the fish was free

All the animals in the forest decided to be eco-friendly...

...and they built a public restroom. Then one day, the window of the restroom was broken. So all the animals got together in a public meeting. The wise owl who chaired the meeting asked who broke it. The little bunny raised his hand, and explained: "You see, I was sitting on the toilet, when from th...

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Drunk needles

Two drunk needles walk out of the bar. They see an hedgehog walking by and one of them goes:

“, the bus is full. I guess we gotta walk home.”

A drunken man walks down the street when he spots a drunken lady sat on the floor with a sack!

The man slurs his words and asks " Whaat ave yoo got in thaat sack!"

the woman slurs back " Hedgehogss, Ive got hedghogs in myy sack! "

He says " hhow mmmany, howw many hedgehogs ave you got in therre!!"

She says " i'm, i'm not gunna tell ya"

The man says " If i can tel...

Me: Can I have a turn in the hedge now?

Hedgehog: No

What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary?

A hedgehog.

The hedgehog

2 toothpicks are standing near a country lane, chatting with each other.
After a few minutes a hedgehog crosses the street.
Both toothpicks were very suprised: « Wow, I am amazed that there are still busses driving here! »

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A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike...

What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures?

A hedgehog

You know who would never let you borrow their topiary?

a hedgehog.

Who is the most poetic videogame character?

Sonnet the Hedgehog

A joke I came up with the other day

Two hedgehogs were at a wedding. One of the hedgehogs asked if the other would like to dance with him.
The other hedgehog responded, “Sure, but I might poke ya,”

So a toothpick walks down the street

Meets hedgehog and says: is this bus going downtown?

What's Shakespeare's favorite video game?

Sonnet the hedgehog

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Animals built an outhouse

Forest animals decided, that they don't like stepping on every day, so they got together and built an outhouse.

Everything was great and forest floor was much cleaner after that. But one day, they found out, that window on the outhouse was broken. So they held a meeting, where they were ...

What do you get when you mix a bush and a motorcycle?

A hedgehog

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My buddy Sam spends way too much time playing video games.

He's not very social, and hardly leaves his house except to go to Best Buy. He's not bad looking and can sing like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. One day he tells me he has a crush on the girl that works in the home theater department named Shiba. I tell him, "Sam, you should talk to her. It's a...

Well, No Sale Today. (Co-worker says it's OC, I doubt)

Many animals are waiting in line in front of a store in the forest: bears, foxes, wolves, hedgehogs etc. A rabbit pushes through the queue. He pushes the other animals with his elbows, and jumps to the beginning of the queue. At this point, a bear catches him and says, "You, bunny, no cheating! To t...

Fasting.

What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog

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The bird who sought a purpose

Apologies if a joke like this was already submitted, I just discovered this wonderful subreddit and I'd like to chip in :)

A bird had long traveled the country side. He was never content with his meager life, and sought a purpose. One day, the bird came upon quite a sight! A massive clearing ...

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Animals in the forest have a meeting. The bear as the chief of the forest decides to create an outhouse and they immediatelly built it.

The next day the outhouse has broken window.

So the Bear called everyone and said:

Who knows something about that?

A squirel put her arm up and says:

"I know something about that.."

"I was jumping from a branch to a branch and suddenly the wolf took me, clean his a...

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The woodland critters decide to open a public restroom...

They all participate as best they can to build it, and Owl, the mayor of the woods gives it to the public. The next day as Owl is taking a stroll, he notices that one of the windows is smashed.

He calls an urgent meeting where all the animals gather together.

\- I am sorry for this bot...

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Barnyard antijokes, written by an AI

Q:
What's the difference between a horse and a duck?

A:
A horse has legs but a duck has feathers.

Q:
Why do elephants play hide-and-seek?

A: They don’t have to worry about winning.

Q:
How much is a cow worth?

Answer:
100 Pounds.

Q: ...

One of my all-time favourites

A deer sees a crying bunny, sitting by the road.
When asked what is wrong, the bunny said "The bear asked me if I fuzz, I said that I don't and he used me sa his toilet paper".

Some days later, the deer sees the same bunny at the roadside, laughing histerically.

"Glad to see yo...

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