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Sonic Jokes

Do you know why Sonic never chooses Heads?

Cause he prefers Tails.

My wife said if I don't get rid of all my Sonic merchandise, she's going to leave me. Taking all offers.

It's gotta go fast.

"With my sonic superpowers I shall call myself....

...TINNITUS!"

"Tinnitus?"

"Yeah! Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?"

I always order my burgers from Sonic

He always gets them to me the fastest

What happens when a witch breaks the sound barrier?

You hear a sonic broom.

What do you call a 60 year old flying in a fighter jet?

A sonic boomer.

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Hotshot

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.

The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
...

So after Sonic Youth broke up Thurston Moore was asked did he have any regrets when it came to the band

And he said “Yeah, 100%”

What does Muslim sonic say when Ramadan begins.

Gotta go fast!

How do you stop Sonic the Hedgehog from running?

Elect some other candidate in the primaries.

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Superman is flying over the ocean . . . NSFW

... And he spots Wonder Woman on an island lying spread-eagle naked on the beach.

He thinks, "Man, I've always wanted to fuck her."

So he flies down at super-sonic speed, drills her within seconds, and flies away chuckling.


Meanwhile, Wonder Woman says, "What the fuck was th...

The flea jumping competition begins

Fleas from all over the country have gathered here today to take part in the contest. Expect an incredible show.

=

Team 1 from Muts-4-homes Animal Shelter take the stage.

=

The team lines up on the platform...

=

6 --
5 --
...

SEGA has decided to release a game about a guy that won't let other people queue for religious events. Instead he always runs really fast to the front.

Sonic the hajj-hog.

I thought it would be a cool idea to have sonic in real life

But apparently speed doesn’t make animals faster

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Here It Is! The Poopie list!

Ghost Poopie--The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie--The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie--The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unw...

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Up in the air

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off.

On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D and million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster...

"Persian sonic, why are you tired?"

"Iran."

Sonic looked like his games were getting better in recent years

and then BOOM

I asked Guile what the worst Sonic game is.

He said, "Sonic Boom!"

Terminator walks into a police station

He opens the first office and two police officers stand there mouths open. They reach for their pistols, but the Terminator opens his mouth and out shoots the sound of ear piercing violins. The police officers drop their pistols and clench their hands against their ears, but it's too much, their hea...

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Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

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One day Superman was feeling a bit horny

One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to
ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get
a bit of action. "Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?"

"Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonderwoman is the best
sex in comicland. Why don't you try her?", replied B...

Why does Sonic always wear gloves?

Because his hands are cold.

Fasting.

What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog

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Superman is flying around the city looking for crime to fight...

Suddenly, he sees Wonder Woman, laying on a rooftop bare naked, with her legs wide spread, grinding and writhing sensually. He gets hard instantly and decides to give her the time of her life. So he flies down, fucks the shit out of her at super sonic speed, busts his nut, and flies off again before...

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Millionaire marriage proposal

A bachelor Chinese millionaire is on a business trip in Los Angeles. He has had very bad luck finding the perfect bride in China and had given up hope of getting married. During his business presentation, he sees the perfect bride for him -- she is an intelligent, tall, slender single brunette wit...

Unvaccinated kids are Sonic's hardcore fans

cuz they gotta go fast

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog...

...but it's no use.

^^^^^^For ^^^^^^Sonic ^^^^^^fans.

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A man has sex with a woman bodybuilder

After a while, he leaves the bedroom and joins his friend, who never thought he could manage a bodybuilder, in the living room:

"Dude, my dick is like Sonic"

"Is it fast?!"

"No, it's blue"

What do you call a drunk blue hedgehog?

Gin and sonic.

Why does The Rock love Sonic the Hedgehog?

***"IT DOESN'T MATTER"!***

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