I saw Sonic The Hedgehog at the movie theater...

The only problem with it was that it ended too *fast*.

Why does Sonic the Hedgehog have human teeth?

Rule 34

What's the name of Sonic the Hedgehog's drug business

Sonic SPEED

So I made my notification ringtone the sonic drowning theme to freak out others.

It has to be changed in less than 2 hours because I had an anxiety attack

What did Sonic the Hedgehog say during Ramadan?

Got to go fast!

Do you know why Sonic never chooses Heads?

Cause he prefers Tails.

What do you call a 60 year old flying in a fighter jet?

A sonic boomer.

My wife said if I don't get rid of all my Sonic merchandise, she's going to leave me. Taking all offers.

It's gotta go fast.

Sonic

I’ve been experimenting with ways to pollinate my greenhouse tomatoes. The best method so far is vibrating blossoms with an electric toothbrush.

My buddy suggested blasting heavy bass to pollinate all of them at once.

He pointed out I would have a soundgarden.

Why does Sonic always wear gloves?

Because his hands are cold.

Sonic looked like his games were getting better in recent years

and then BOOM

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Millionaire marriage proposal

A bachelor Chinese millionaire is on a business trip in Los Angeles. He has had very bad luck finding the perfect bride in China and had given up hope of getting married. During his business presentation, he sees the perfect bride for him -- she is an intelligent, tall, slender single brunette wit...

"With my sonic superpowers I shall call myself....

...TINNITUS!"

"Tinnitus?"

"Yeah! Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?"

I thought it would be a cool idea to have sonic in real life

But apparently speed doesn’t make animals faster

I always order my burgers from Sonic

He always gets them to me the fastest

"Persian sonic, why are you tired?"

"Iran."

SEGA has decided to release a game about a guy that won't let other people queue for religious events. Instead he always runs really fast to the front.

Sonic the hajj-hog.

The flea jumping competition begins

Fleas from all over the country have gathered here today to take part in the contest. Expect an incredible show.

=

Team 1 from Muts-4-homes Animal Shelter take the stage.

=

The team lines up on the platform...

=

6 --
5 --
...

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Up in the air

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off.

On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D and million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster...

Fasting.

What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog

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One day Superman was feeling a bit horny

One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to
ask his super hero friends for ideas on where he could get
a bit of action. "Hey Batman! Who's good in the sack?"

"Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonderwoman is the best
sex in comicland. Why don't you try her?", replied B...

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Superman is flying over the ocean . . . NSFW

... And he spots Wonder Woman on an island lying spread-eagle naked on the beach.

He thinks, "Man, I've always wanted to fuck her."

So he flies down at super-sonic speed, drills her within seconds, and flies away chuckling.


Meanwhile, Wonder Woman says, "What the fuck was th...

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Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

Terminator walks into a police station

He opens the first office and two police officers stand there mouths open. They reach for their pistols, but the Terminator opens his mouth and out shoots the sound of ear piercing violins. The police officers drop their pistols and clench their hands against their ears, but it's too much, their hea...

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Superman is flying around the city looking for crime to fight...

Suddenly, he sees Wonder Woman, laying on a rooftop bare naked, with her legs wide spread, grinding and writhing sensually. He gets hard instantly and decides to give her the time of her life. So he flies down, fucks the shit out of her at super sonic speed, busts his nut, and flies off again before...

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

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A man has sex with a woman bodybuilder

After a while, he leaves the bedroom and joins his friend, who never thought he could manage a bodybuilder, in the living room:

"Dude, my dick is like Sonic"

"Is it fast?!"

"No, it's blue"

What do you call a drunk blue hedgehog?

Gin and sonic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy Sam spends way too much time playing video games.

He's not very social, and hardly leaves his house except to go to Best Buy. He's not bad looking and can sing like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. One day he tells me he has a crush on the girl that works in the home theater department named Shiba. I tell him, "Sam, you should talk to her. It's a...

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