Why did William Shakespeare only write in quill?

Because pencils confused him - 2B or not 2B

What's the difference between a quilled mammal and your "practice tree?"

One's a porcupine, the other's a pine you pork.

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

[NSFW] The average length is 2 to 3 inches, while the African species can grow to over 11 inches.

Porcupine quills really are fascinating

A young couple dies in a car wreck on the way to their wedding.

They arrive in heaven where they are welcomed by Saint Peter. Before they are admitted to heaven they ask if they can get married in heaven.

Peter scratches his chin. “Hmm, I’m not sure. Let me find out.” He goes into heaven to find someone who might know.

Well he’s gone for a very lon...

What do you call a porcupine that wants to be a guardian of the galaxy

Peter QUILL

What did the suicidal porcupine do?

It quilled itself

Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen.

In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.

A guy was walking down the street one night...

...when he heard a loud "thump! thump!" behind him. When he turned around he saw a huge coffin following him. "thump! thump!"

Well the guy was obviously surprised, and more than just a bit scared. He starts walking a bit faster. The coffin picked up the pace as well, "Thump! Thump!"

So...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The reel, the ink, and the booze

There was a company that sold a great variety of fishing equipment and supplies. One of their new products was a rod to be used out at sea, with a special reel mechanism to catch larger fish. Now, there was a new employee who was in charge of printing buyers' names onto the reel by hand and with a q...

My fiance, feeling a bit under the weather, just blurted out this knee-slapper at 3AM...

Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy?

Because of the Nye Quill.

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