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Ferret Jokes

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The Ferret...

Man walks into a bar with a small wooden box, places it on the bar and orders a drink.

The barman asks “what’s in the box?”

“A ferret” the man replies

“Sorry sir but you need to leave, he could get out and bite one of my customers!”

“No, no he’ll be fine, he’s very well ...

Got a ferret a few days ago (old joke maybe repost)

My wife cried"What about the awful smell?"
I answered "He'll get used to it!"

I often confuse weasels, polecats, stoats and ferrets

It turns out that they're just not very good at riddles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a female ferret doesn't have sex for a year, she will die. By that logic then, if my wife was a ferret...

She'd be a lot sexier.

I’ve decided to make a living renting out my two pet ferrets for events.

I’m a small business owner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Amazing ferret

A man walks into a bar, takes a seat next to a man holding a ferret, stroking it quite lovingly.
After a few drinks the man asks, "hey man, what's going on with you and that thing?" The patron looks up and says, " oh this "thing" is my wonderful friend and she happens to give the BEST head in the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God was hungover…

(long)

God woke up with an unholy hangover.

He was rubbing His temples as one of His angels knocked gently on the door.

“Enter if you must!” God shouted.

"Sorry to disturb You, Sir," the angel said hesitantly. "But I wanted to congratulate you on yesterday's creations. F...

Me: Hello, ASPCA? There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan

ASPCA: We don't believe you

Me: Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's best friend

A man decides to get a mascot and heads to the pet store. He began to walk up and down the aisles looking at the different animals available but found fault with each. Dogs needed to be walked constantly. Cats are loners. Ferrets smell. Fish are boring. Snakes are, well, snakes. After roaming around...

Pet store joke. This one is at least a half century old, but fwiw, I don't remember seeing it here yet...

A woman goes by a pet store and sees a sign saying "We specialize in the rare and unusual." Curious, she steps inside, and casually passes by the almost-usual: snakes, ferrets, tarantulas, macaws. She then notices a steel cage at the back of the store with a terrier-sized furry indistinct animal ...

What's brown and sounds like a parrot?

A ferret.

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