What’s a porcupine’s favorite game to play?

Poker

What's the difference between a BMW and a Porcupine??

With the porcupine the pricks are on the outside!!

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss??

"Ouch!"

Why did the Porcupine cross the road?

It has to get the point across.

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines?

They're painful to look at.

What is it called when a porcupine is hit by a car?

Roadquill

What's the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[If you own a Tesla, please substitute "Range Rover" or whatever other brand makes you feel better.]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do porcupines have sex?

Very carefully.

What do you call a porcupine that wants to be a guardian of the galaxy

Peter QUILL

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A porcupine has its pricks on the outside...

I remembered this joke after a Prick in a BMW was driving today in a strip mall like killing pedestrians is a tax write off.

I guess this prick didn’t want to get stuck in traffic...

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

What did the suicidal porcupine do?

It quilled itself

What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle?

A slow poke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nervous hedgehog and a and a daring porcupine were each doin a handstand on a dice..

And the two dice were on each end of a razor sharp long sword see-sawing on the poison tip of an upright spear attached to a table made of matches poised over pools of explosives on one side and sharks on the other.

Porcupine: “hey buddy remind me what game we’re playing again?”
Hedgehog: ...

Why did the porcupine stab the petshop owner

He rubbed him the wrong way

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine?

An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Courtesy of my five year old son... What do you get when a turtle and porcupine have a baby?

A slow poke!

What do you get when you cross a porcupine and an onion?

A prick so big it makes your eyes water

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

"Sir" from a distance.

[NSFW] The average length is 2 to 3 inches, while the African species can grow to over 11 inches.

Porcupine quills really are fascinating

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike...

What do you call a porcupine with an acetylene torch?

Spiny the welder.

What's the difference between a quilled mammal and your "practice tree?"

One's a porcupine, the other's a pine you pork.

What tree does bacon grow on?

Porcupine

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the...

What is the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine?

A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orgy at the Zoo

(row row row your boat tune)
Fuck fuck fuck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Sixty nine a porcupine. Orgy at the zoo.

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