What's the difference between a BMW and a Porcupine??

With the porcupine the pricks are on the outside!!

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss??

"Ouch!"

What’s a porcupine’s favorite game to play?

Poker

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines?

They're painful to look at.

I hate porcupines

They’re just a bunch of pricks.

Why did the Porcupine cross the road?

It has to get the point across.

What is it called when a porcupine is hit by a car?

Roadquill

What's the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[If you own a Tesla, please substitute "Range Rover" or whatever other brand makes you feel better.]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do porcupines have sex?

Very carefully.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A porcupine has its pricks on the outside...

I remembered this joke after a Prick in a BMW was driving today in a strip mall like killing pedestrians is a tax write off.

I guess this prick didn’t want to get stuck in traffic...

What did the suicidal porcupine do?

It quilled itself

What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle?

A slow poke.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a tapeworm?

About ten feet of barbed wire.

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

Why did the porcupine stab the petshop owner

He rubbed him the wrong way

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine?

An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Courtesy of my five year old son... What do you get when a turtle and porcupine have a baby?

A slow poke!

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

"Sir" from a distance.

What's the difference between a quilled mammal and your "practice tree?"

One's a porcupine, the other's a pine you pork.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike...

What do you call a porcupine with an acetylene torch?

Spiny the welder.

[NSFW] The average length is 2 to 3 inches, while the African species can grow to over 11 inches.

Porcupine quills really are fascinating

What tree does bacon grow on?

Porcupine

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the...

What is the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine?

A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orgy at the Zoo

(row row row your boat tune)
Fuck fuck fuck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Sixty nine a porcupine. Orgy at the zoo.

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