What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!

What sounds do porcupines make when they kiss?

"Ouch!"

What do you call a porcupine that wants to be a guardian of the galaxy

Peter QUILL

I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

[NSFW] The average length is 2 to 3 inches, while the African species can grow to over 11 inches.

Porcupine quills really are fascinating

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A porcupine has its pricks on the outside...

I remembered this joke after a Prick in a BMW was driving today in a strip mall like killing pedestrians is a tax write off.

I guess this prick didn’t want to get stuck in traffic...

What did the suicidal porcupine do?

It quilled itself

What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle?

A slow poke.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla?

The porcupine has pricks on the outside and would never get a smug, personalized license plate.

Courtesy of my five year old son... What do you get when a turtle and porcupine have a baby?

A slow poke!

A porcupine walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender nods, and asks him for his ID. “But why?” Asked the porcupine

“It’s the law.” The bartender responded. “But why?” The porcupine asked again. “To keep children from being able to access alcohol.” The bartender responded, growing impatient with the porcupine. “But why?” The porcupine asked again. Annoyed, the bartender threw up his hands. “Why are you asking so ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Lion gives a royal decree...

In the jungle, the migthy Lion decided that he is too busy dealing with the affairs of the royal court, leaving him unable to hunt his own prey.
Due to this, he decided to give a royal decree, so that the animals in his kingdom must bring him 20 kilograms of raw meat every day. Any animal ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orgy at the Zoo

(row row row your boat tune)
Fuck fuck fuck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Sixty nine a porcupine. Orgy at the zoo.

Why did the porcupine stab the petshop owner

He rubbed him the wrong way

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do porcupines have sex?

Carefully.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine?

An animal that knits its own sweaters.

What do you call a porcupine with an acetylene torch?

Spiny the welder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike...

What is the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine?

A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

"Sir" from a distance.

What tree does bacon grow on?

Porcupine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When do porcupines fuck each other?

When they are thorny.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the...

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In the forest, the bear is having his birthday party

And he says to all the animals "You better bring me a good present, or I'll beat you with my cock!"

So the deer shows up with a TV and the bear says "Awesome, come on in!"

Then the wolf shows up with an iPhone and the bear is impressed yet again and brings the wolf into his den

...

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