What’s the difference between a Porcupine and a BMW?

The pricks are on the outside of the porcupine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do porcupines have sex?

Very carefully.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine?

A Slow-poke!

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines?

They're painful to look at.

What is it called when a porcupine is hit by a car?


What sounds do porcupines make when they kiss?


What do you call a porcupine that wants to be a guardian of the galaxy


I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who had lost all its quills.

I said, “That seems pointless.”

What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle?

A slow poke.

What did the suicidal porcupine do?

It quilled itself

What’s A Porcupine’s Favorite Medicine?


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A nervous hedgehog and a and a daring porcupine were each doin a handstand on a dice..

And the two dice were on each end of a razor sharp long sword see-sawing on the poison tip of an upright spear attached to a table made of matches poised over pools of explosives on one side and sharks on the other.

Porcupine: “hey buddy remind me what game we’re playing again?”
Hedgehog: ...

A porcupine walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender nods, and asks him for his ID. “But why?” Asked the porcupine

“It’s the law.” The bartender responded. “But why?” The porcupine asked again. “To keep children from being able to access alcohol.” The bartender responded, growing impatient with the porcupine. “But why?” The porcupine asked again. Annoyed, the bartender threw up his hands. “Why are you asking so ...

Courtesy of my five year old son... What do you get when a turtle and porcupine have a baby?

A slow poke!

What's the difference between a quilled mammal and your "practice tree?"

One's a porcupine, the other's a pine you pork.

Why did the porcupine stab the petshop owner

He rubbed him the wrong way

[NSFW] The average length is 2 to 3 inches, while the African species can grow to over 11 inches.

Porcupine quills really are fascinating

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine?

An animal that knits its own sweaters.

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A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike...

What do you call a porcupine with an acetylene torch?

Spiny the welder.

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When do porcupines fuck each other?

When they are thorny.

What do you call a tree that got hit by a cop car?

A porcupine

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Orgy at the Zoo

(row row row your boat tune)
Fuck fuck fuck a duck. Screw a kangaroo. Sixty nine a porcupine. Orgy at the zoo.

What is the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine?

A porcupines needle won't give you AIDS

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

"Sir" from a distance.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the...

My all time favorite lawyer joke.

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW full of lawyers?

A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

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