A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...

and says to them: "Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?" Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!" "Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely \*whales\* from?"

A man overhears some... ehem... rather large women chatting at a bar...

Intrigued by their accents he meanders over by their booth and asks them:

"You ladies must not be from around here. Are you from Ireland, or something?"

To which they reply snottily:

"It's Wales." and go back to their conversation.

He corrects himself and tries again:
...

Husband: Why are the defective condoms lying on the sofa?

Wife: What?

Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying:

I will kill you, if you don't stop calling our children 'Defective Condoms'.

A doctor overhears two 8 year olds on hospital beds next to each other

The first one leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kids says, "I'm here to get my tonsils removed, I'm a little scared."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about, I did that when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lot...

Overhearing my ex...

I once overheard my ex tell her best friend that I was a stalker.
Nearly made me mad enough to come out of her closet
and give her a piece of my mind.

An American overhears two Italian men talking on a bus.

One of the men says to the other "first emma come, then I come, two asses come, then I come again, two more asses come, then I come again, pee two times, then I come again." Outraged, the American shouts at them "There are kids on this bus! You can't talk like that!" The Italian man replies "what ar...

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”
 

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”


 "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.
 ...

An elderly woman overhears a young mother and her daughter in the supermarket

"I want these cookies!", screams the child. "Laura, we're almost at the cashier, we'll soon be home", says the mother patiently.

"I want ice cream!", cries the child a few seconds later on their way to check out. "Laura, it won't be long anymore, we're almost there", says the mother, with no ...

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The Chocolate House

One day, Dave had met up with one of his oldest friends Matt, who had just returned from his vacation in Belgium.

They discussed the trip, and what Matt had done in Belgium.

"I did quite a lot but the most interesting experience I had was visiting the house of chocolates. It may not h...

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Three horses walk into a bar..

One horse trots up to the barman, the other two grab a seat at a table. The horse at the bar orders three beers and grabs them with its hooves, then walks on two legs and joins the other seated horses.

First horse says: " Shit guys, last night at my race, it was some crazy shit. I was way ahe...

A married couple goes to the fair...

The couple is in their 40's and haven't been in about 20 years, since before they got married. The husband sees a sign that reads "Helicopter Rides: $50". He then turns to his wife and says, "Ethel, let's ride the helicopter. I've always wanted to ride a helicopter, I think it'd be romantic. We can ...

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Two Italians Talking on the Bus

So I'm riding the bus the other day and I overhear two Italians talking about a pretty graphic sexual conquest. I heard,
"No Vincenzo you see i'ma gonna tell you one a more time. First I make Emma come, then I come, then we put the two asses together, I come again, we put the two asses together a...

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Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.

After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hystericall...

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While in the stirrups at the gynecologist’s office, the woman overhears the doctor say...

“My, what a big vagina!” … “My, what a big vagina!”

The woman became furious and spoke up: “I can’t believe I heard you say something so unprofessional—not just once, but twice!”

“I’m very sorry and I apologize” the doctor said, “But in my defense I only said it once ^once ^^once ^^^on...

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Budweiser method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they "discuss" her "rating," which is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, "I'd give her a 7. She's really quite pretty." Another agrees, and so does the third...

Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin and Donal Trump are on a plane.

Merkel finds $100 on the floor of the aircraft and says:
"I will throw the money out of the aircraft and make 1 person happy" Putin interrupts her, stating that if they split the $100 bill into 2 $50 bills they can make 2 people happy. Trump insists that they should throw 4 $25 bills and make 4 p...

Two prawns are in the ocean discussing their hatred and fear of sharks

One prawn is called George and the other is called Christian. One day while discussing their fear of sharks, a nearby cod overhears them and swims over to talk to them. The cod promises to grant George one wish. George decides he wants to be a shark, so wishes to become a shark. The cod grants Georg...

A farmer got an idea for how to make money off his farm in the off-season.

He had a huge property all bounded by a big, white fence end to end. Along that fence was an old country road where few people drove.

He decided he would set up a Christmas light display like he'd heard about others doing. It took him some time to gather all the lights necessary, but eventual...

Two orphan children are on the run after stealing a big basket of tangerines from the store

They run into the cemetery to hide, but drop two at the gate
Child 1: It's fine! We have plenty more in the basket. Hurry! We must hide!


They find a bush to take cover and begin counting out the tangerines...
"One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you"


They...

Kevin dies and goes to heaven...

He gets in line and sees Saint Peter asking everyone a question before they head past the pearly gates. As he's third in line, he overhears Peter ask the guy in front, "Sir, were you faithful in your married life?". The man looks down and replies, "Well, I did have two affairs". Peter nods and hands...

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A priest walks into a bar

A priest walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and asks for a drink.

“Sorry,” says the bartender, “we don’t serve your kind here.”

Baffled, the priest tries to object, but before he can, the bartender walks off. So, furious, the priest just decides to leave. But as he’s walkin...

$50 is $50

There was a newly married jewish couple called Mike and Ida that lived in a relatively small town. Every year there was a big fair that came to town that Mike and Ida decided to go to when they were 19, and they were blown away with all of the events and festivities. There was one in particular that...

How the Internet started according to the bible.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto...

So I'm in the office kitchen and I overhear a blonde telling a story. . .

She tells her friend "Some loser accountant from the window company called me. Wanted me to pay for my new windows they installed."

"Yeah? What did you tell them?"

"I told them the exact same thing their fast talking salesman told me. In a year, the windows will pay for themselves...

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It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet...

It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet. So, he goes all the way downtown to the tux store and when he opens the door there's a huge long tux line. Apparently everyone in town waited until the last possible minute to rent a tux, which shouldn't be that surp...

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A little boy is playing with his toy trains...

...in the living room while his mom is doing chores around the house. While cleaning, the mom overhears her son talking to his toy trains.


"Alright, you sons of bitches, we've arrived at your stop. Get your shit and get off my damn train!"


Astonished at what she'd just heard, ...

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A greyhound walks into a bar...

A greyhound walks into a bar and takes a look around. There are three horses sitting at the counter chatting away, he decides to sit close enough to overhear their conversation.

The first horse says, “I have an incredible story for you guys! I was racing last Friday, two minutes in and I am l...

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Italian guy on a bus

Sitting on a bus in New York, a prim old lady was shocked to overhear an Italian say to another, "Emma come-a first. I come-a next. Two ass-a come-a together. I come-a again. Two ass-a come-a together again. I come-a once more. Peepee twice. Then I come-a for the last time."

When the It...

A young girl is at a club and sits down at a table next to thee guys at another table.

The three guys are talking rather energetically, and the girl hears their conversation;

First guy: "It's spelled, W.H.O.O.M....WHOOM!"

The second guy: "No, you're wrong..it's spelled W.H.U.M.E....WHUME!"

Then the third guy: : "You both don't know what you're talking about! It's ...

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[nsfw] Voodoo Dick (Long)

Lucia popped into her local South American produce shop on the way home from work (it was enchilada night). While browsing she got a call from her bff Natalie and spent some time talking about the recent divorce, and her lack of sex life. Shortly after hanging up, she was approached by the store cle...

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The Coldest Igloo in the World

Three Eskimos are arguing loudly in a bar. Each is convinced his igloo is the coldest in the world. The bartender, tired of overhearing the argument, suggests, "Why don't you just visit each other's igloos and see for yourselves whose igloo is coldest?" The eskimos agree to this suggestion.

A...

A blonde was looking for some odd jobs...

A blonde decides to do some odd jobs around the neighborhood and walks up to the first house. A man answers the door and tells her she can paint the porch if she wants. The blonde says sure and asks what he thinks a fair price would be. The man reply's $50. After the blonde agrees to it the man tell...

A Woman Walks Into A Cafe

A woman goes to a cafe and takes a seat outside. While she's eating, she overhears a group of men at the next table.

"Look, let's go with the simple option. It's spelled W-O-O-M."

"No, I'm sure there's an R in there. W-O-O-M-R."

"I thought it was longer than that, and had a B. W...

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Two men are drinking in the bar...

Two men were drinking in the bar at the top of the Empire State Building.

One turns to the other and says: “You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you...

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A kid walks in on his parents taking a shower...

He hears them saying to one another: "Honey, you have big balls." "Babe, you have big tits".

The boy asks, "Mom, dad, what are tits and balls?"

His parents reply, "Oh, uhhh... that's just another way of saying hats and scarves, now go play." So the kid goes off to play.

Later...

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An idiot walks into a bar

and overhears the patrons in an excited hoo-hah over which among them was the luckiest.

One among them quieted all to say, "I met a beautiful woman last night! Within hours, I took her back to my home and we did the nasty like old chums!"

The crowd applauded and agreed he was luck...

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Father and his 5 year old Son are walking on their farm together...

The dad steps in dog poo and yells "SHIT!"


The son asks, "Daddy, what does shit mean?"


The father answers, panicking as he doesn't want to set a bad example, "Its another word for doormat"


The son is convinced and the dad breathes a sigh of relief.


Later...

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Welcome bitches and bastards!!!

On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, "Mommy, what does bastard mean?" She answers, "Um, it means boy." Then he asks, "Daddy, what does bitch mean?" He says, "Uh, it means girl." ...

Hollywood Halloween

Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.

Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'

Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'
...

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Three male coworkers are upset to find that the fourth member of their weekly golf outing will no longer be joining them...

...a female coworker overhears their plight and asks if she can join. The men are hesitant, but in the name of equality they decide to allow it.

"We like to take our time, so we start early," says one of the men.

"No worries," says the woman, "I'll be there at 7:30 or 8:00."

S...

Three couples are eating breakfast in the hotel restaurant

They're early birds, and the only ones there. It's an American, an English and a Norwegian couple. The American says to his wife

"Can you send me the sugar, sugar?"

The Englishman overhears him, and, thinking he can't be any worse than an American, asks his wife

"Will you pass...

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An Older Couple Are Having Dinner At A Nice Restaurant

Coincidentally, it is their 30th anniversary, and is also the same restaurant where the man proposed to his wife. The man leans toward the his wife and quietly says to her, "Remember how we had sex in the alley behind this place when we got engaged?" "Yes." the woman replies. "Lets do it again." ...

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Two guys in their mid-twenties sitting at the bar

I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar the other night.

One guy says to his buddy, "Man you look tired!"

His buddy says, "I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day, I just don't know what t...

A windmill and a solar panel are talking during a storm...

Windmill "Awesome weather we are having!"
Solar panel "I am not a fan."
Added thanks to /r/ChiisaiMurasaki: The nuclear powerplant overhears them feels left out, so he has a meltdown. What an over reactor!

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A woman is out of town on business

and decides to head down to the hotel bar for a quick drink on her first night there. She sees the bar isn't all that crowded and easily finds an open seat.

She grabs a menu and the only other guy sitting at the bar moves over next to her. He reeks of booze. He says to her, "I wanna tell you...

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A boy named Flayer

In ancient times, back when modern woes and tragedies were instead replaced by orcs, goblins, and bandits, there was once a lonely shepherd boy, known by the locals as Flayer, a young adventurous lad, forced by his father to tend to his flock.

"Oh tending to sheep is such a bore! I should be...

A frog wants to get a loan

He goes to a bank and there is a pig behind the front desk.

The pig introduces herself
“I’m Pattywack, how may I help you”

The frog asks for a loan and to use an action figure as collateral.

Pattywack explains that the action figure is not enough to be collateral.

Pat...

An old lady gets on a bus

She sits across from these two foreign guys who are deep in conversation. She can't help but overhear one of them saying -

"Emma come first. Then I come. A-two asses, they come together. Then I come again. Two asses, then I pee pee. Then I come again."

The old lady is horrified, and sa...

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Little Billy came home from school one day...

He asks his mother "Mom, what is a blowjob?"

She stammers, and a look of terror washes over her face as she tries to think of an appropriate response.
Overhearing this, Dad heroically swoops in to her rescue..

"Little Billy, she doesn't know."

One day, old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair...

There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person.

Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that."

Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $...

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A guy and a girl are lying in a room after just having sex.

The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests.
The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man, oh Man I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."
The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"
"Well," the guy explains, "I a...

An Army captain receives a message

The message says, that the father of one Private Miller just died. So after morning drill he yells: "Private Miller step forward!"

The private does as ordered and the captain yells: "Miller, your father died. Now get back in line so I can continue the drill!"

A general overhears this a...

A guy comes into a bar upset

Bartender asks him whats wrong, he tells the bartender "I've been doing this housewife for months now but I really want to break up with her but don't know how, she doesn't take bad news well. Shes in the car now waiting." Bartender says, "Well its dark out there and our voices sound similar, I coul...

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A young virgin woman from very religious puritan family walks down the street.

A young virgin woman from very religious puritan family walks down the street. When she passes a taxi stop she overhears one taxi driver saying to other: "Wow, I would love to shag that girl!" She gets home and she asks her mother: "Mom, what does the word SHAG mean?" Her puritan mother gets all red...

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Old joke from my school

This was originally in Marathi, translated it.
________________________

A young boy is walking down the street and he sees a cat. He picks up a stone, hurls it at the cat, and misses.
"Fuck, I missed!" he yells.
A priest who lives nearby overhears him. He walks up to the boy and says...

A father buys a robot that smacks anyone lying.

The dad brings the robot home. His son comes home and the dad asks "where have you been?" the son says "at school" the robot smacks the son. The son says "ok ok I was at my friends house." The dad asks "what were you doing?". The son says playing "board games". SMACK. the robot smacks the son and he...

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While explaining sexual orientations to a classmate...

My classmate asks "wait, what's polyamory?"

-

I begin to explain that it's when one person can be involved in many different intimate relationships with the knowledge and consent from all of the parties involved.

When my professor overhears from the front of the class....and eru...

A Sardar recently arrived in the US

and wanting to earn some money, decides to become a ‘handy-man’ and starts looking for some work in an up-scale neighborhood nearby.

He goes to the front door of the nearest house and asks the owner, another Indian, if he had any odd jobs for him to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch...

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A guy in a bar loudly proclaims: "All lawyers are assholes!"

Another guy overhears him and says, "Excuse me, I resent that remark."

First guy: "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

Second guy: "No, I'm an asshole."

An American man walks into a bar...

An American man walks into a bar and grabs a seat. While ordering a pint, he can't help but overhear an obnoxiously loud but indiscernible conversation from three massively large ladies down the bar.

The man calls out to them,, "Hey babes, are you from Scotland?"

Quite rudely, one lad...

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Little Tommy is walking to school one morning

[Long]

He passes by a couple of older boys, they are having a conversation. Tommy overhears them talking about something called "blue love". Little Tommy is curious, and asks them what blue love is. The boys give him a somewhat offended look and walk away.

Little Tommy goes to class, s...

Two Italians are having a conversation.

"Emma comes first. Then I come. Then two asses come together. I come once more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one last time." said the one seemingly older to his friend.

A woman nearby who overhears them proceeds to scold him loudly, "You filthy ...

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Two Jamaicans...

***If you have a thing against bad accents, you're going to have a bad time.***

...Are browsing thru some generic, privately-owned shop. On their way out one of them remarks, "Dere's nuting to do in dis town." The couple who owns the shop overhears this while clerking at the front counter and...

Two cowboys lean against the rail at their favorite bar...

...and rate women as they go by.

A beautiful brunette passes. The first cowboy says, "I'll give her a 3." The other cowboy nods.

Next, a hot redhead walks by. The second cowboy looks her up and down and says to the first cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4." The first cowboy no...

Pope John XXIII is going to formally become a saint on Sunday (27 April 2014). Here is a sample of his humorous quips:

1. Visiting a hospital he asked a boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. The boy said either a policeman or a pope. "I would go in for the police if I were you," the Holy Father said. "Anyone can become a pope, look at me!"

2. "It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think ab...

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A father has three daughters, Petal, Butterfly and Breezeblock...

...one day, Petal skips over to her Dad and asks,"Daddy, why am I called Petal?" He lifts her onto his lap, and explains, "Well darling, when you were born, and as I held you in my arms, a petal floated down gently onto your forehead, so we decided to name you Petal."

Butterfly overhears this...

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An English Man, An Irish Man, and a Scots Man all go to the beach...

As they walk along the sand they see a Mermaid laid up on the rocks, the waves crashing around her. They are all struck by her beauty but are initially scared to approach. The English Man finally does and strikes up a conversation. As they talk he realises she is totally inexperienced with human int...

New member joins a club where people write and talk about jokes

He overhears someone say "23" and everyone starts laughing. After sometime another one says "40" and everyone laughs uncontrollably. The man confused, asks what is it about and somebody explains to him that they all know all the jokes, so they just tell them by the numbers.

Man wanting to jo...

Energetic old couple recreate their first date.

An elderly couple, celebrating their 50th anniversary, decide to recreate their first date by having dinner at the same restaurant. They order the same dinner, the same drinks, and the same dessert as their first time.
As they're reminiscing, the drinks start kicking in and the old guy starts...

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Asian guy at my college

So I'm in college math class, and two new guys walk in. They introduce themselves as brothers, Ling and Ving. After a few days of talking, (Ving sits next to me) he says I can get help from him in trig if I answer him one question. I say, sure. (I'm bombing trig so I'd sell my soul to pass.) He asks...

Two Irish nuns visited Scotland for the first time...

Two Irish nuns were visiting Scotland for the first time when they saw a burly Scot wearing a traditional kilt. One nun whispered to the other, "Do ye suppose it's true what they say? That they dinna wear anything underneath their kilts?"

Overhearing them, the Scot proudly turned toward them ...

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A newpaper seller, stands on the edge of a cliff...

he says to himself, "Shit, I'm a newpaper seller, but I haven't got any more papers to sell. Might as well just end it all now." A brick layer overhears him and replies, "Shit, I'm a brick layer, but I haven't got any more bricks to lay, and if you're going to go, I might as well go with you." A lum...

50 bucks is 50 bucks.

Lois and Stan have been married for 35 years and every year they go to the state fair when it's in town. This year they have a new ride called 'The Helicopter ride'. $50 for a ride in the helicopter for 25 minutes. Stan really wants to ride it so he asks his wife if they can go. She declines say...

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A beautiful young blonde

A lady boarded a flight, but refused to go to economic class and insisted that she get to stay in business class. When the first stewardess asked the lady to move, the lady simply responded: "I am a beautiful young blonde flying to Los Angeles." The stewardess could not get her to budge, and called ...

A hotel is holding a convention for chess aficionados...

During the daytime, the chess fans can play each other in the ballroom, watch panels that discuss optimal tactics and long-term strategies, or watch videos of famous chess matches. In the night, many of them gather in the hotel lobby to discuss the game and what they've seen today.

The hotel ...

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An elderly couple celebrate their 50th anniversary.

A man in a restaurant overhears an elderly couple next to him celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Dear do you remember 50 years ago when I proposed to you right here in this same spot?" the old man asks caressing his wife's hand.

"Yes honey I do remember." she replies smiling...

The miracle doctor

a couple have a kid that only has a head, no body. A doctor overhears them talking about the kid while in line at the market.
The doctor tells the couple he can transplant the kid's head onto
a child's body therefore making him whole. Excited, the couple rushes home and tell Timmy they have ...

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A plane is about to go down...

While airborne, a plane crew discovers that their plane is carrying too much cargo and is at the risk of going down. The captain makes an announcement

"Unfortunately, due to a few miscalculations, our plane is carrying too much weight and therefore, we have no choice but to let some people o...

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The Morning Commute (Adapted Chinese Joke)

Two guys carpooling to work approach a stop light while a hot, young girl driving a Porsche pulls up next to them. The passenger says to the driver, "I bet she's the Mistress. At least she doesn't have to work."
The woman overhearing the passenger screams back, "Asshole! If I didn't have a job I...

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onion girl

A young woman has a vagina that smells terribly like onion. This makes her sentimal life very hard as she is too ashamed to start a relationship.

One night at a club, she overhears a conversation: a cute guy tells some friends he had an accident, and cannot smell anything anymore. The young ...

Doing it the Jewish way

A man goes to the door of a cathouse and asks the madam if any of the girls know how to do it the Jewish way. The madam thinks he is joking and slams the door in his face. This happens several times, until finally a girl overhears him, askin the madam, says, "Wait a minute, I've never tried it the J...

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"Good evening bitches and bastards" NSFW

Little John Tidswallow often heard his parents arguing with each other in the lead up to Thanksgiving. 'Bitch!' his father would say, 'Bastard' was the reply from his mother. "What does bitch and bastard mean?" John asked his parents.
Bitch just means a woman, John. And bastard is another word f...

At a medical conference

Two African doctors were in an intense debate. The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmbbbbb". The second said "no, it's woooooooooooooooommmbbaaaa." A British doctor overhears them and decides to help: "I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.'"
They both turn to him and say "Clearly, you'...

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A man, we'll call him Bob, walked into his doctor's office...

...and nervously approached the check-in desk.
"What brings you in today?" asked the receptionist.
Hesitantly, the man responded, "I have a green ring on my penis, and I don't know what it is."
"No problem," the woman replied. "Please have a seat, and we'll be with you shortly.
As B...

A priest dies...

And goes to heaven. There's a small queue to get in, and when he gets to be second in line, he overhears St. Peter asking some basic questions to the man in front of him, like what's your name/ occupation, and where are you from? They guy in front of the priest is wearing tight fitting, torn black c...

The new bull

Three bulls are standing around overlooking a field full of cows when they overhear the farmer tell one of the cowhands to get the trailer ready to pick up a new bull.
The old bull snorts and says, "I'm a tellin' ya what, there ain't but fifty cows here that are mine and if'n that new bull thinks...

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A Texan a bitch and a heifer

A Texan comes to California to visit his friend's ranch. He overhears two workers talking, standing next to a cow and a dog. The first worker looks at the cow and absentmindedly says "yup, she's one fat cow." The next man is looking at the dog and says "well, I've got one mean bitch" The Texan look...

A man is sitting in a bar...

When he overhears a couple women talking in a peculiar accent, he approaches the women;
Man: excuse me are you ladies from England?
Woman: Wales you idiot!
Man: sorry are you Whales from England?

A joke about planes

So, Jack and Jill were just married, both age 20, and go to this funfair, which offers a plane ride for £20.
Jack: Please, can we go? I've always wanted to fly on a plane!
Jill: I'm sorry Jack. £20, is £20
20 years later, they go to the same funfair, have fun on the rides, until they come a...

A couple visits the mountains on their honeymoon...

They were walking by and saw a sign for a helicopter tour. The man turns to his wife and says, "What do you think, honey? Want to give it a try? It's only fifteen dollars" "I don't think so, dear." She replies. "We just got married and don't have a whole lot of money and fifteen dollars is fifteen d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple Polish jokes

A Polish man finds a lamp. Inside the lamp is a genie who is willing to grant the man one wish. The man ponders for a moment, then says "I wish China would invade Poland!"

Another man overhears and is extremely puzzled. "Why would you wish that? Are you not Polish?" he asks.

"Yes, " th...

A group of men are flying in a plane.......

they get bored and decide to drop an orange out the window. They land the plane and overhear someone crying. They find a young girl crying so they ask her what is wrong. The young girl said "My mother was just hit in the head with an orange and died!". The men shrugged it off and got back on the pla...

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