UPJOKE
citymetropolisurban centerontarioevansgordonclarkstewartwilliamswallacelewisadamsthomasthompsonjohnson

Hamilton Jokes

What did they call the conflict between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr?

The Ham-Burr-Grrr.

I'm not even sorry.

Today's performance of Hamilton in Chicago was cancelled due to the cold.

Once again, Brrr killed Hamilton.

Why is Alexander Hamilton banned from all-you-can-eat buffets?

because he will never be satisfied, oh he will never be satisfied.

Why did Obama have the cast of Hamilton preform at the White House?

Because presidents don’t do too well in theatres

George Washington and Alexander Hamilton go to the bar with their troops after a day of battle.

The troops are having fun and telling stories to each other. The generals are planning new strategies to continue their victorious ways. Washington and Hamilton order a few drinks and are discussing how to continue to fund the war against the British.

The night progresses on and the troops ar...

Now that there is a musical about Alexander Hamilton, I'm going to make a Musical about the founding of the Webster's English Dictionary

It's going to be a play on words

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence.

I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

Why did Alexander Hamilton get busted for possession?

'Cause he's not throwing away his pot.

Ever heard of Alexander Hamilton?

Heard he makes bank

Somebody offered me free Hamilton tickets if they could have my place in line at the Covid vaccination clinic, but I had to turn them down.

Not throwing away my shot!

What did Alexander Hamilton say when Aaron Burr mocked him for getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?

I am not throwing away my shot

My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.

**The doctor asked him a series of questions: “Do you know where you are?” “I’m at Rex Hospital.” “What city are you in?” “Raleigh.” “Do you know who I am?” “Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.” “Why?” she asked. “Because all...

Did you hear the one about the Vegan Crossfitter who saw Hamilton live on Broadway with the original cast?

He didn't know which one to talk about first.

A bunch of youths pull up next to Lewis Hamilton at set of traffic lights

One of them rolls his window down, and Lewis winds his down too

'Oi mate!' says the lad 'Race?'

'Afro-Caribbean' says Lewis, smirking. And speeds off

What do you call a party featuring John Adams, Alexander Hamilton and co as guests?

A feds era list party.

I like my coffee like Hamilton liked the source of his income.

Black, and made by my wife.

The casting for Hamilton was awful,

It makes no sense cast an American to play King George who is obviously British.

What do you call a mark hamil when he weighs 2000 pounds?

Hamilton

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What can Lewis Hamilton do what Hitler couldn't?

Finish a race.

You know Alexander Hamilton was a great man.

A real 10/10.

Celebrity Race-car Driver Lewis Hamilton Walk into a country golf club in England

He sees the woman on reception and enquires about joining the club.

Looking slightly disappoint, the woman at the desk tells Lewis that unfortunately the club has a very old rule which states only white people can become members.

She apologises for the out of date rule but says that ...

The WHO says the first sign of COVID is bad taste.

Looking back at my jokes, it appears I've been infected for years.

-Argus Hamilton

I think this one was here but saw it a few years ago so i decided to post it.

Little Jimmy was once playing with his dinosaur toys on the backyard, when his older brother Tony walked towards him with a brand new baseball bat, ball and glove.

Jimmy noticed it and gasped "Tony, how did you get all those cool toys?!"

"Simple" Tony chuckled "Just go to an adult, and...

Let me introduce the little known tale of Curtis Remond.

Curtis was born in the small town of New York, the only child of a rich and famous banking family. Curtis’ father was a banker. Curtis’ grandfather was a banker. The banking linage runs as far back in the family as time can remember, ever since Gerald Redmond had emigrated from Killarney back in the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Always wear clean underwear in public

Always wear clean underwear in public,
especially when working under your vehicle...

From the Hamilton Spectator Daily News comes this story of a Burlington couple
who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carr...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.