UPJOKE
assureinsuresecurepledgeensurewarrantyassurancevouchsuretyunderwritepromiseindemnityconsiderationguarantyundertake

Guarantees Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What position *guarantees* the ugliest baby?

Go ask your mother.

How can you tell if being a suicide bomber really guarantees you blessings in the afterlife?

You have to C4 yourself

My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks..

Yet after two weeks I'm still asian

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

I1

The gyms must remain open

The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press

Engineer and anti-vaxxer

An engineer, an anti-vaxxer, and others were walking through the woods when they came upon a crocodile infested river.

The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that river safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural ...

Jesus saves!

Moses invests!

But only Buddha guarantees returns.

People don’t realize that vandalizing Trumps Hollywood Star is a bad thing

It guarantees him the newest and shiniest star on the walk. Art of the the Deal

I served an old man at the bar the other day.

He made me privy to a conversation he had just had with his wife. He asked her, "If I died, would you remarry?"

His wife replied, "Well...maybe, but no guarantees".

"You can't go through life lonely", he said. "I think you should. But would you live in our house together?"

"W...
3 jokes are hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.