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Securing Jokes

What is both legal and cool, pleasant and healthy, free and highly profitable, securing and freeing - all in one, and is available only today?

Voting in USA

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

A handyman was securing a bolt into a wall when he got distracted by a beautiful woman.

He ended up busting a nut.

A Fellow Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only...

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