A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his<...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor.<...
I asked my wife, “Did you know there’s a fruit which gives you your entire daily potassium requirement?”
Her: That’s bananas.
Me: I know. I was shocked too.
I have two requirements in my will....
1) I want my remains spread out at Disney World
2) I do not want to be cremated.
A woman placed an ad in a news paper. 'I am looking for a male partner who needs to meet these three requirements.
1. He shouldn't beat me. 2. He shouldn't leave me.
Third and most important.
3. He should be great in bed.
One week later, her door bell rang, and she opened the door to find a man.
The man said, "Hi, I'm Peter. I don't have hands, so I can't beat you. I don't hav...
A requirement to be a pilot is to be good at basic math
So I asked a couple pilots what 300 + 90 was and they all said 30. I guess they are not that smart after all.
I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.
An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.
"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"
Revitalized, we picked up the pace.
"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point...
Yo mama so stupid, her password requirement needed to be 8 characters long so she typed in
"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".
Change in women's requirements towards men by years.
10 years - prince with a castle
15 years - a rock star
20 years - beautiful, smart and rich boy
25 years - a smart and rich man
30 years - a man that cooks and cleans
35 years - a man
40 years - a cat
45 years - two cats
Problem about being in IT. You go by requirements and logic.
Husband is a programmer.
Wife : Honey, please go to the super market and get 1 bottle of milk. If they have bananas, bring 6.
He came back with 6 bottles of milk.
Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?!?!
Husband (confused): BECAUSE THEY HAD...
Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement.
But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
TIL the government has a minimum height requirement for workers to receive Coronavirus relief payments. I was so angry...
but I'm over it
What is the requirement to start a pet food business?
I went to Coles to buy a cabbage but apparently it’s a legal requirement to buy mayonnaise and carrots too.
It’s Coles Law.
Did you hear there is no longer an essay requirement on the SAT?…
...Now it’s just going to be called the T.
Did you know it’s a requirement for MIT doctorates program to know how to make Ecstasy?
They need it so they can get their MD in MA.
So I was applying for a job and one requirement was to be flexible
I have spinal fusion, guess not.
The star football player was missing his academic requirements
He was the best player they'd seen in years, but unfortunately, shared an IQ with his helmet. Regulations required that the player be benched until he brought his grades back up.
The coach, wanting to win their first season in decades, pled to allow the player to finish the season. It was fin...
What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?
Ability to work under pressure.
Agency: "Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements.
How do you want their placements, sir?"
MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:
1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts departmen...
Being attractive is a requirement to become a firefighter...
Because they turn the hoes on.
Covid-19 is like client requirements...
This virus is like a client requirement. It keeps mutating regularly and a major change comes in just when you are about to go on holidays.
Princess asked if anyone who could fulfill all three requirements, she would marry him otherwise a death penalty...
Requirements: 1. Must drink plenty of alcohol. 2. Must kill the hungry lion inside a cage and bring the eyes. 3. Must make the princess happy in bed.
After hearing the announcement, a poor drunk man thought he would be able to drink free alcohol and die peacefully. Without a fur...
Disabled people have earned the word “special.” Special needs, special school and special requirements...
So it always alarms me when I hear special forces going to war!
Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement?
So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.
The entry requirements of the Polish Club are strict...
You have to have an untarnished reputation.
What do you call a Koala who doesn't meet the requirements?
A man is going through customs entering Australia
The man behind the desk asks him "do you have a criminal record?" The man replies "No, I didn't know that was still a requirement"
The Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6'.
That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.