UPJOKE
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I use to be a caregiver but now I'm having a hard time finding a new job

All of my references are dead

Mario is getting old and becomes sick

He needs a caregiver to help him get around the house. His caregiver is Horton the elephant.

After a while, Mario is bedridden with his illness. There's a knock at the door, but Mario is too weak to go see who it is. Horton opens the door. Mario asks, "Horton, who's a here?"

The local journalist heard about a man turning 100 years old who had never had any alcohol in his life.

The journalist decided to interview him to highlight the health benefits of abstaining.

On the day of the interview the journalist is led into the old man's house by his caregiver. The caregiver took him to the old man who was bedridden and hooked up to an oxygen tank.

"So you've never...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Golfer

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor in the hospital emergency room notifyin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A call from the hospital

A man comes home from work, and as he's opening the door, he hears the phone ringing. He puts down his toolbox, and picks up the receiver.

"Hello?"
"Hello, is this Steve Sanders?"
"Yes, it is..."
"Hello, Mr. Sanders. I regret to have to tell you that your wife has been in an awful ca...

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