How does a doctor know a gambler has gi issues?

When they constantly complain about having the runs.

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’ sales pitch.Jones explained the basics o...

My wife accused me of being unsympathetic and not listening, so I bought her a GI Joe coloring book.

Now she'll always have a soldier to crayon.

A girl says to her mom, "I want a Barbie and a GI Joe".

Mom says, "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"

And the girl replies, "No, Barbie comes with GI Joe. She just fakes it with Ken."

Why couldn't the GI tract pick up her kid from school?

He was in testing

An American and a Soviet general are at the UN and are bragging about who has the best soldiers.

The American says: "We train our men hard; our boys march 100 miles a day in basic training". The Russian says "Da, so what? Our soldiers march 200 miles a day and double on weekends".

The American retorts "Well... when our GIs march they do it carrying 90lb packs without so much as a complai...

I'd been having some stomach issues, so I went to the GI

He said I should keep a bathroom journal, but I prefer to call it a log book.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Western v Eastern medicine

A GI had caught a venereal disease while serving in overseas. His penis had become infected, red, and smelly.
The GI went to a doctor and he told him that amputation is the only option to cure it. Disillusioned the GI had a second opinion and was told again that amputation was the only option. <...

A man falls over unable to breathe

The woman he's with scans around the area and spots a man with a gi and black belt on.
"Do you know anything about choking?"
The man responds that he does, due to teaching Jiujitsu.
The woman urgently yells, "help I think he's going to pass out!"
To which the JiuJitsu teacher replies, "T...

Where do My Hero Academia characters keep their Yu-Gi-Oh cards?

A DEKU box!

A little girl sits on Santa's lap and asks him for a Barbie and a GI Joe.

"Well little girl, you can certainly have that, but doesn't Barbie usually come with Ken?"

"Oh no, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

Blue-Eyes White Dragon

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

Because he was a fun-gi

I have some serious GI issues. So I subscribed to Constipation Magazine...

But it takes forever for an issue to come out.

What do you call a white person wearing glasses while playing Yu-Gi-Oh?

Four eyes white dragon.

^sorry if repost, thought of this myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Paris cheese shop is hit by a German rocket moments after being evacuated by the Americans. "Watch out for debris!" shouts the owner to a GI standing in the ruins of the crumbling shop.

"Fuck off and save your own damn Brie" the GI called back, moments before being killed by a falling piece of masonry.

A mushroom walks into a bar.

The bartender told the mushroom:

"Sorry mushroom, we only serve humans here."

The mushroom replied:

"But I'm a fun gi!"

What do you call a huge ant?

Gi-ant

What kind of underwear do the GI Joes wear?

None, they go commando.

A Scotsman on his deathbed

A Scotsman was close to death, and asked that his sons be brought to him before it was too late.

The oldest son went in to see him and the father said:
“Son, I’m aboot to die, and I’d like ta gi ye a little somethin’ ta remember me by”

“Well, da, ye know I’ve always wanted a tartan ...

A little girl was in a store to buy a Barbie doll for her birthday.

The shop owner said to her as a special treat you can choose another doll as well, Little girl says, can I have a GI Joe, shop owner says I thought Barbie came with Ken?, Little girl says no she comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with Ken.

Sales pitch

Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

Before long the Captain in charge of the ind...

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fun-gi, why did he leave? There wasn't mush room.

In a bus...

... a grandma looks with interest a girl that has a hieroglyphs tattoo on her neck

Gi: "Hey granny, what are you looking at?"

Gr: "At what is written on your neck, darling."

Gi: "So what? Tattoos haven't existed when you were young?"

Gr: "Babe, we had them to, but... I w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Miss Wilson is teaching her class of 1st graders basic human anatomy...

The teacher aimed her pointer at the female anatomy chart.

“Now class, does anyone know what these are called?” the teacher asked.

“I know! I know!” exclaimed the teacher's pet, Janie, sitting in the first row. “Those are breasts! My mommy has two of those, and she says some day I will...

What do you call the Ant Man when he becomes super big?

giANT man.

Why did the girl invite the mushroom to the school dance?

Because he was a Fun-gi

A mushroom walks into a bar and sidles up to a stool.

Bartender: “You’ll need to leave. We don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom: “Why not? I’m a . . . fun-gi.”

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Cause he's a fun-gi!

Why didn't he get invited to last night's party?

Cause there wasn't mushroom!

Why does princess peach keep toad around?

Because he's a "fun-gi"

Genie: You have 3 wishes

Me: I want the first letter of every word to be replaced with the letter g

Genie: Gok. Gecond gish?

Ge: Gi gant gevery gord go gend gith gamer

Genieamer: Ginalamer gishamer?

Geamer: Giamer Gantamer geveryamer gordamer goamer geamer giveamer gettersamer gongamer

Gam...

A dyslexic minority

giNgers.

The difference between Canadian and American men...

Back during WWII, an American GI met a Canadian soldier fighting along side him. The two fought together throughout the war and both made it home safely.

After the war, the two returned to their respective homes and decided to marry their respective sweethearts. The two became such good fri...

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

What do you call a Hebrew commando?

GI Jew

Old MacDonald had a toy store...

GI GI Joe

Game of Thrones Spoiler Joke

I heard the Night King just got a hold of one rarest YuGiOh cards

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scruffy old drunk walks in to a bar...

... and says "give me a fucking pint and a whisky pal". The barman says "sure, but there's no need for the bad language though". The old fella drinks his pint down in one go and then pours the whisky in to his coats top pocket. The barman is watching this and just shakes his head thinking the guy...

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest...

... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.