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Gi Jokes

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.

Rather than ask about this, the Captain stands in the back of the room and listens to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explains the...

One day, a mother sees her daughter playing with Barbie and GI Joe. The mother, perplexed, says that she thought Barbie came with Ken.

The daughter says, "No, Barbie comes with GI Joe. She only fakes it with Ken."

What is the Natzis favorite yu-gi-oh card?

Blue eyes white dragon

How does a doctor know a gambler has gi issues?

When they constantly complain about having the runs.

Why couldn't the GI tract pick up her kid from school?

He was in testing

My wife accused me of being unsympathetic and not listening, so I bought her a GI Joe coloring book.

Now she'll always have a soldier to crayon.

Where do My Hero Academia characters keep their Yu-Gi-Oh cards?

A DEKU box!

A little girl sits on Santa's lap and asks him for a Barbie and a GI Joe.

"Well little girl, you can certainly have that, but doesn't Barbie usually come with Ken?"

"Oh no, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."

What kind of underwear do the GI Joes wear?

None, they go commando.

Gastroenterology Jokes

Looking for good GI jokes. That’d make a GI doctor laugh!

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Good ones I have

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A banana a day they said was good for cleaning the colon

It was a week before I realised you have to eat them

——

what do you call a fake gluten intolerance?

a sill...

What do you call a white person wearing glasses while playing Yu-Gi-Oh?

Four eyes white dragon.

^sorry if repost, thought of this myself.

What’s the largest species of ants?

Gi-ants

Which popular action figure has a farm?

GI GI Joe

Sales pitch

Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and, because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

Before long the Captain in charge of the ind...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Western v Eastern medicine

A GI had caught a venereal disease while serving in overseas. His penis had become infected, red, and smelly.
The GI went to a doctor and he told him that amputation is the only option to cure it. Disillusioned the GI had a second opinion and was told again that amputation was the only option. <...

What does a karate master keep in his pants?

Gi’s nuts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Paris cheese shop is hit by a German rocket moments after being evacuated by the Americans. "Watch out for debris!" shouts the owner to a GI standing in the ruins of the crumbling shop.

"Fuck off and save your own damn Brie" the GI called back, moments before being killed by a falling piece of masonry.

A Scotsman on his deathbed

A Scotsman was close to death, and asked that his sons be brought to him before it was too late.

The oldest son went in to see him and the father said:
“Son, I’m aboot to die, and I’d like ta gi ye a little somethin’ ta remember me by”

“Well, da, ye know I’ve always wanted a tartan ...

A little girl was in a store to buy a Barbie doll for her birthday.

The shop owner said to her as a special treat you can choose another doll as well, Little girl says, can I have a GI Joe, shop owner says I thought Barbie came with Ken?, Little girl says no she comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with Ken.

A mushroom walks into a bar.

The bartender told the mushroom:

"Sorry mushroom, we only serve humans here."

The mushroom replied:

"But I'm a fun gi!"

In a bus...

... a grandma looks with interest a girl that has a hieroglyphs tattoo on her neck

Gi: "Hey granny, what are you looking at?"

Gr: "At what is written on your neck, darling."

Gi: "So what? Tattoos haven't existed when you were young?"

Gr: "Babe, we had them to, but... I w...

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

Because he was a fun-gi

Want to contact the spirit of a dead Italian?

Use a Luigi board.

Old MacDonald had a toy store...

GI GI Joe

What do you call a huge ant?

Gi-ant

What do you call the Ant Man when he becomes super big?

giANT man.

A mushroom walks into a bar and sidles up to a stool.

Bartender: “You’ll need to leave. We don’t serve your kind here.”

Mushroom: “Why not? I’m a . . . fun-gi.”

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

Why did the girl invite the mushroom to the school dance?

Because he was a Fun-gi

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fun-gi, why did he leave? There wasn't mush room.

Why does princess peach keep toad around?

Because he's a "fun-gi"

A man falls over unable to breathe

The woman he's with scans around the area and spots a man with a gi and black belt on.
"Do you know anything about choking?"
The man responds that he does, due to teaching Jiujitsu.
The woman urgently yells, "help I think he's going to pass out!"
To which the JiuJitsu teacher replies, "T...

A dyslexic minority

giNgers.

The Barbies

Few days before Christmas the father of a lovely 9yo girls goes to best you shop in town. He walks the lanes untill he finds a nice girl and asks her for help.

Dad: good afternoon. Please, can you help me choosing a Barbie doll for my daughter?

Shop assistant (SA): Sure Sir! How much w...

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Cause he's a fun-gi!

Why didn't he get invited to last night's party?

Cause there wasn't mushroom!

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

What do you call a Hebrew commando?

GI Jew

Genie: You have 3 wishes

Me: I want the first letter of every word to be replaced with the letter g

Genie: Gok. Gecond gish?

Ge: Gi gant gevery gord go gend gith gamer

Genieamer: Ginalamer gishamer?

Geamer: Giamer Gantamer geveryamer gordamer goamer geamer giveamer gettersamer gongamer

Gam...

Game of Thrones Spoiler Joke

I heard the Night King just got a hold of one rarest YuGiOh cards

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest...

... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Miss Wilson is teaching her class of 1st graders basic human anatomy...

The teacher aimed her pointer at the female anatomy chart.

“Now class, does anyone know what these are called?” the teacher asked.

“I know! I know!” exclaimed the teacher's pet, Janie, sitting in the first row. “Those are breasts! My mommy has two of those, and she says some day I will...

The difference between Canadian and American men...

Back during WWII, an American GI met a Canadian soldier fighting along side him. The two fought together throughout the war and both made it home safely.

After the war, the two returned to their respective homes and decided to marry their respective sweethearts. The two became such good fri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Obama administration... (long)

During the Obama administration there were a few military cutbacks. As a result, several top generals were asked to retire. All of these men were very well respected and so (in addition to their generous pensions) they were given a bonus check.

Due to a bizarre technicality in the letter of t...

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