Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awakens and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

​

Watson replies, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

&...

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping...

They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Some time in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson up and said, “Watson look up at the sky and tell me what you see”.

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said, “And what do you deduce f...

Dr. Amrak, superintendent of the Tidder School District, was nervous about the upcoming budget meeting.

All of the schools in the district needed new benches and tables in their cafeterias. Unfortunately, the Tidder Comets were in a difficult financial situation, and all of the estimates for the cafeteria furniture were way too expensive. One day before the big meeting, Dr. Amrak told his secretary,...

Remember dr strange watched the "endgame" 14,000,605 times

But he didnt spoil any of it.


Be like Dr Strange.

Don't drink Mr Pibb. It's just a cheap knockoff of Dr Pepper..

The dude didn't even get a degree.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did Dr. Watson say when he was constipated?

No shit, Sherlock.

Man: Dr, recently I have become a bit forgetful.

Dr: well. how long have you had this problem?

Man: which problem?

What did the bratty nut say to Dr Phil?

Cashew outside. How 'bou dat?

What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?

Tim Hortons hears a Who

Dr. Frankenstein is experimenting with a new monster made with a cheese body.

It's Frankenstein's Muenster.

Which game does Dr Jekyll play best?

Hyde and seek

A dude walks into a Dr's office and says "Doc, I think I'm addicted to Twitter".

The Doc looks at him and says. "Sorry, I Don't follow you".

My Dr. told me that I have one month to live. I said, "But Dr., I can’t pay my bill."

So he gave me another month.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man with a horrible stutter goes to the Dr. to see if there's a way to fix it...

Because of his stutter, Mr. Smith was painfully shy, and only communicated using gestures and notes. After reading his note explaining his problem, the doctor gave him a thorough examination, and returned to discuss his diagnosis with him.


"Well, Mr. Smith, the problem seems to be that y...

I´ve just done a quote for painting Dr Who´s TARDIS.

$50 for the outside, $400 for the inside.

Dr Suess had a theory that the digestion of lemon zest is optimal when stationary, what did he name his investigation?

The digest zest the best at rest test.

I’m like Dr. Strange without the PHD and magic cape.

Strange...

Dr. Doolittle learned to talk the language of thousands of animals.

But not the language of ducks..

They were just too Fowl.

The Dr. gave Jim a call and said, “Hey Jim, I’ve got good news and bad news.”

“The good news - You have 24 hours left to live.”

“Oh my gosh, doc, what could possibly be the *bad* news!?”

The doctor replied, “I forgot to call you last night.”

A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies...

“Have you tried condoms?” Asks the Dr.

“I did, and it resulted in 3 kids!” said the man.

“Have you tried birth control?”

“I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!”

“Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?”

“I did! And it resulted in 3 kids!”

Confounde...

Had the choice between 3 Cokes and 4 Dr Peppers.

I picked seven up.

I got lead poisoning from a Dr. Pepper knock-off

I guess I shouldn’t drink Mr. Pb again

Reports show that adults aged 18-24 are the healthiest, with the least dr visits per age

But between you and me it’s because my mom doesn’t make my appointments anymore

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Guy gets pulled over by a policeman on a motorcycle...

Cop comes up and says "You know why I pulled you over?"

Guy says "yes, I was going way over the limit but I am running super late for work"

Cop says "and what could be so imperative that makes you rush to work. What type of work do you do?"

Guy responds "I'm a rectum stretcher!...

What did Dr. Obvious say to the Frenchman at the urinal?

European.

If I owned a nuke I would name it Dr. W.

Because its a W. M.d.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were walking through a park...

They passed three women sitting on a bench each eating a banana. All three women greeted Sherlock Holmes "Good afternoon Mr. Holmes." and Sherlock acknowledged each woman with a nod and a smile.

When they were some distance away, Dr. Watson turned to him and asked "Sherlock do you know thos...

Dr. Jill Stein plans on marrying former senator Al Franken.

She will run for president in 2020 as Dr. Franken-Stein.

Did you hear about the time an anvil fell on Dr. Pepper?

He was sodapressed.

Dr. Goldberg

Dr. Goldberg was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper at a conference, coincidentally held in his home tow...

If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it is Dr. Whom.

We should have an orgy with all the Dr. Seuss characters

Whos with me

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dr: Bad news Jim

Jim: What is it Doc?

Dr: You have to stop masturbating.

Jim: Oh God... Why?!

Dr: Because I’m talking to you.

Dr. Frankenstein went to a body-building competition...

There was a terrible misunderstanding.

I went to the Dr today. He said " don't eat anything fatty".

So I asked "what like burgers and bacon"?

He said, "No, fatty. Don't eat anything"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dr. Watson is performing an autopsy. Holmes ask if he’s found the cause of death.

Watson: It would appear the decedent had a bowel obstruction. It caused a rupture in the intestinal wall, creating a septic condition and ultimately, death.

Holmes: Wait, John, are you saying he died of...

Watson: No Shit, Sherlock.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dr visits an Indian Tribe

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go...

Two wives ho out for girls' night.

Both got drunk, started walking home and had to go to the bathroom. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties and the other grabbed a wreath off a grave. The next morning, one husband calls the other and says

"No more girls' night out. My wife came back wit...

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting...

To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotchman are marooned on an island

John, Mick, and McTavish have been stuck on the island for a very long time, and all have grown long beards.

One day while exploring, John discovered an old type of lamp, like an oil lamp.

Mick saw it and said "It could be an ol' genie! rub it a few times"

John rubs the lamp thr...

A man walks into a Dr.’s office with a duck on his head.

The Dr. asks, “May I help you?” The duck says, “Yeah – get this guy out of my ass!”

Dr. Dre is giving up music.

Instead, he has decided to become a shepherd, and raise sheep.

Introducing Bleats by Dre.

Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."

Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."

Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."

Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition...

... And discovered that he had seriously misunderstood the objective

Dr Dre may not be a real medic...

...but he has performed hundreds of hip hop orations.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long...

No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Nsfw! An elderly man goes to a dr.

He says: Dr. I think my circulation is going backwards. The Dr asks why do you think that. The man says :well you see, when I was younger, when my wife stroked my hair my penis would stand up. But now when she puts her hand in my pants, my hair stands up.

What does a Dr. Who fan say when he has dry skin?

EXFOLIATE

What does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in?

Theoretical fizz-ics.

If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you’re likely to get arrested.

However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you’re likely to make a new friend.

Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️

A guy complains to his buddy that he went to the Dr for a vasectomy since he doesn't want any kids, but it didn't work.

When he got home, the kids were still there.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy and his girlfriend are watching Dr. Phil...

Dr. Phil says to the audience, "Sometimes you say things that heal, and sometimes you say things that hurt. And sometimes you can say things that make somebody happy and sad at the same time..."

The boyfriend scoffs. "What a bunch of bullshit! You can't say one thing to me that will make me h...

Dr O'Mahony tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John."

"Oh dear," John replies. "What's the bad news?" asks the patient.

The doctor replies: "You only have 24 hours to live."

"That's terrible," says the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"

Dr O'Mahony replies: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train one day when they passed a huge flock of sheep in a field. As quickly as they had observed the fluffy cloud it had passed out of view.

"So many sheep!" Watson exclaimed. "I wonder how many there were?"

"Elementary, Dear Watson. There ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So this guy brings his wife to the Dr and asks what's wrong with her. The Doc says it's either AIDS or alzheimers. But how do we know says the guy.

Doc says take her out to the woods and leave her. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her.

A girl with tight skirt tries to get on a bus....

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrass...

What type of medicine does Dr Pepper practice?

Fizzyology

I went to my Dr. the other day and said “doc last night I dreamt I was a tee-pee, and the next night I dreamt I was a wig-wam”

He said relax you’re two tents

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Success

Joe was showing his date what a successful and influential man he had become, and he really wanted his date to be impressed as she was a true 10.
"Sue, this resturant is the finest in the state. 3 Michelin stars, reservations booked solid for nine months, an icon. I built this up from a hotdog ...

Dr. Strange: I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.

Dr. Strange: I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.

Me: How many did you see?

Dr. Strange: Fourteen million six hundred and five.

Me: Did I win any arguments with my wife?

Dr. Strange: ...One. ...

Why was Dr Frankenstein never lonely?

He was good at making friends.

9 out of 10 doctors reccommend for children to drink water instead of soda

that 1 doctor lives in flint michigan

My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange.

I declined because I have Stranger Things to watch.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having sex with a young girl...

Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having sex with a young girl and says:
Sherlock, what are you doing? This girl looks like she's in middle school.
Sherlock: Elementary, dear Watson.

What headphones does United Airlines use?

Beats by Dr.

Finally started watching "Dr Who"

it's about time

Dr Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding.

The policeman asks him, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?". "No, ", replies Dr. Heisenberg, "but I know where I am!".

What's Dr.Dre's favourite vegetable?

Beets

“Hey, do you guys remember Dr. Chang?”

“Dr. Who?”
“No, Dr. Chang”