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I felt creative today, and decided to paint a cat.

Turns out, those fuckers are really hard to catch.

I once wrote a very creative and detailed suicide note....

Now I've got a #1 country music song in the U.S.

A composer, a chef, and a creative writer are interviewed how they find beauty in classical music.

The composer says, "I love how the notes harmonize on the octaves when they're played, no matter the scale; anytime I hear someone singing the fifth note, I get these fuzzy feelings inside."

The creative writer answers, "What I find fascinating about music in general is the story behind the ...

There was a man who wasn’t creative

He named his kids numbers in the order they were born (the first child was 1, second child 2 and so on)

After he had 100 kids , a fire burned his house down leaving only one child. 90

90 grew up and had his own kids that weren’t creative and when they saw a stray dog , they took him in...

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A pigeon, a snake, and a bear are debating

"See that family over there," the pigeon says, looking at a happy family at a park, "I can go over to their picnic and get the humans to give food."

The snake and bear give a laugh. "We can all get food," they say. "No," the pigeon dictates, "I can get them to give me food in a more creative ...

My cat always sits in his box. I told him to be more creative and find himself another place.

He just can't think out of the box.

Several churches started having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ...

Being left handed I was always told I was more creative but all I noticed was that I smudge the words when writing with pencil.

I guess it’s a blessing and a cursive

My son is so creative...

That he creates new problems everyday.

how do you make a creative Star Wars joke?

you have to think outside of the jarjar

[OC] Why aren't OBGYN's creative?

They're always focused inside the box

My girlfriend said I was too creative

So I just unimagined her

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A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

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A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.

“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.

The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.

“How much will it cost to buy everyone here a round of drinks?”, the man asks, taking a s...

What nation is the most creative?

Imagination.

I started a program at the local jail to teach creative writing to inmates.

It’s called Prose and Cons

Apple needs to come up with a new creative naming scheme for their products...

You know what iMean?

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A Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink.

When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, “Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can have me for tonight.” So the Chinese guy says “I love liver and cheese.” She says “That’s not good enough” The Japanese man says “I hate liver and cheese” She says “That’s not ...

Warning, English not my first language, so sorry if hard to understand

The creative writing students all shifted a little uneasy as they realized they had clearly picked the wrong professor

Why do princesses who have been locked away in a castle become the most creative?

Because they're in-spired.

Stan Lee, may be rest in peace, will forever be known as the creative genius behind Marvel.

Sadly, all good things come to an end. As his left this universe, and passed on to the next, we have no choice to to acknowledge that he is DCseased.

Why was the shovel regarded as one of the most creative inventions?

Because it was ground breaking.

No motivation. Why bother if people don't notice my creative work?

It just seems that lately nobody really notices all the work I do. It seems like no matter how much effort i put into my works, no matter how much I invest in improving my skills via education, books, conferences, no matter how much i try to 'get in the spotlight' and display my art, people seem to ...

Her tinder bio said she’s very creative and imaginative.

So I didn’t text. She can imagine our chats. And probably a better one.

I wonder how far our relationship has gone.

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

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A man walks into a bar and says he'll drink anything that has gin in it

The Bartender decides he wants to impress the man with something creative. He grabs some cold-pressed mango juice from the refrigerator, squeezes in the juice from a small lemon, adds some ginger ale, and garnishes it with rosemary and an orange twist. Finally he adds the gin.

As the man fini...

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Little Johnny in creative writing

The teacher start creative writing class by saying, "Today I want you to write a sentence that uses the word 'beautiful' twice".

Susie goes first: "My mom bought me a beautiful dress and I look beautiful in it."

Next, the teacher calls on Mary: "Today is a beautiful sunny day, helping...

There was once, in a small town, a man named Don.

One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives.

The left half, more prone to rati...

Where are all of the creative Calculus jokes?

All these new ones are so derivative...

Not feeling creative?

Open up a gym membership and see how many excuses you can come up with not to go.

There was once a man who had 100 kids.

There was once a man who had 100 kids. He was not a creative man, so he named the kids after the number of their birth. One of his kids, 90, had a few kids when he grew older. One day, they found a dog on the road. They took him in, and named him This. This was a very good and well behaved dog. “Dad...

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A class of high school art students are broken into groups...

...and tasked with making silly and creative paintings combining culture with food.

One group decides to paint an Indy race car made out of roti. Another group decides to paint a business suit necktie being grated into cheese. Another group paints Donkey Kong serving up a creepy bowl of banan...

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English Literature Class

Professor starts the literature class. "Today's lesson is metaphors. A metaphor conceptualizes and exaggerate a big thing into a small creative image. As an example you can say 'The snow is a white blanket' instead of saying that snow is white. Can anyone say a similar metaphor ? "

"Tom Crui...

Timbuktu

This one I got from Playboys joke page in the late 80s.


Two guys with identical education and experience were applying for the same marking position in a company. The hiring manager could not decide which one to give the job offer to, so he calls them both in for a final interview at th...

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Sa...

Time to be creative. I'll give you the punchline, you give me the joke!

A dresser without drawers.

Say what you want about Elon Musk but with his plan to bring people to mars...

No one is a more creative serial killer

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My friend is very involved in the German Blackbird Racing league

My friend Hans is very involved in the German Blackbird Racing league. He's always whooping and hollering at every race, and now most of his friends call him "Woo!". Despite his enthusiasm for the sport, he's not very creative. He mostly just numbers his birds, and never takes our advice on names....

Why is a creative writing workshop the first step when training to become a firefighter?

Prose before Hose

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Dog named Sex

Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.

That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.

But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he'd be cute and named his dog Sex?

*It goes like this:*

"One day Sex and I took a walk and h...

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A self-made millionaire decided that he was lonely and needed to find a mate. So, he organized a bit of a competition for it.

As his search neared the end he narrowed the choices down to four.

One was a doctor. She was a surgeon, made incredible money. She was focused and driven. Because she was so wealthy on her own, he knew she wasn't in it only for the money.

One was a lawyer. Again, a successful professio...

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My Wife won't like it

One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"

"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.

"Jack , forget your troubles. Com...

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Scientists have come up with a foolproof methodology of predicting when someone lies

There are 2 different approaches for each sexes.

For Males
OBSERVATIONS
1) the eyes deviate slightly to the left indicating the Male is accessing the creative part of the brain
2) heartrate elevates in an attempt to support the strain of the creative effort
3) pupils constrict s...

For Sale - and not what you think it is!

For Sale:



'96 Model Year

Low Mileage

No Accidents

Spotless Interior

Reliable

Superior Performance and Handling

Runs Well Every Day

Dual Front Airbags

Spacious Rear Cargo

Looks Great, Sounds Better



No, this ...

A teacher is working on word problems with her students

A teacher is working on word problems with her students and asks, "if there are 3 birds on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" A boy raises his hand and says, "zero. Because if you shoot one the other two fly away" The teacher responds, "no, there's two left but that's creative and I like...

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A friend told me this, and he might have got it from reddit so this might be a repost but here it goes [Long]

3 best friends decide to travel to an lonely little island somewhere near the Bahamas in the hopes of having a relaxing camping trip, for old time’s sake.

They arrive by water plane, and the pilot informs them that he’ll be returning to pick them up the next day. The men, happy to finally be ...

A patient went to a doctor

A doctor accidentally prescribes him a laxative instead of a coughing syrup. - Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?” - The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.” - NOTE: A lot of creative work went into our website. Do not copy text wi...

A guy walks into a diner on the side of the road

The place is really old and messy, but he was hungry from the road so he sat at the table and ordered spaghetti with meatballs.

After a while the waitress gives him the order, and he saw a bunch of thick hairs on some of the meatballs.

He calls the waitress "Hey miss, there are a bunch...

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Curious George goes to a bar

A man and his monkey went into a bar,

On his shoulder was the monkey, he went not far.

Shooting pool all day long was what the man did,

The monkey watched as balls cross the table slid.



And then in a flash the small monkey ran down,

Then he picked up the ...

The other day, I posted a meaningful phrase on r/originalquotes

It was very well-received, but a comment bugged me bad. It says "The OP is very creative".

I swear I didn't plagiarize from any poster.

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It’s parade day in Russia and 3 military thieves are locked in a jail cell awaiting their punishment.

All the other males in the army are either partaking in the parade or out celebrating their national pride and getting drunk on vodka so they have cleverly entrusted their female counterparts to continue running things whilst they are gone.

A female Lieutenant asks her superior, “How are we t...

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