Need some help creating fake certifications

Apologies if this isn't a good sub to post a request like this. Happy to pull it down.

My coworker has been taking a lot of short online certification courses. Every day he finishes a new course, prints out the certificate of completion and proudly hangs the certificate up on his wall. He's ...

Nobody can argue that Trump is creating jobs.

A position as an Iranian general just opened up.

President Trump is so good at creating jobs.

He even just recently opened up a job in Iran. I heard they’re looking for a new General

Did you know the seagull was gods third attempt at creating the bird...

The A-gull and B-gull weren't quite right.

Creating a joke is one thing. But delivering it is another.

I think my mother did a commendable job in that regard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm creating a petition based on the position of peoples belly buttons, so...

Are you in or out?

Imagine Hollywood is making a feature film about creating the perfect meal

In the first act of the movie, they go through many trials and tribulations to decide on what bread they should use. Eventually they decide on tortilla

The second act, they’re now plotting on what should go IN the bread. Meat, veggies, maybe neither.

Finally, the third act. now they j...

God was creating all the countries and it was Canada's turn

He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"

The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

I was a failing engineering student. Today I finished creating a robot with speech capabilities.

Between you and me, that's saying something.

I'm thinking of creating a new heavy metal band.

Osmium should do it.

After creating the Nile, God became the first self promoter on twitch.

"Check out my stream!"

Brother Mark arrives at the monastery where he intends to devote his life to servitude to the Lord.

When he arrives, he discovers that the other brothers are creating new books by copying from previous copies.

So he asks Brother John, 'Do you ever proofread these copies against the original? How do you know that someone isn’t copying a mistake?

Brother John ponders this and decides, ...

Creating a drug that destroys mitochondria...

is a waste of energy

You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country

The White House seems to always be hiring.

*Creating password*

"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"

ERROR: [Password two week]


^Edited ^for ^better ^understanding

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man is standing in line to get a train ticket.

The woman behind the counter is very attractive, and has big breasts. When he goes up to the counter, the man blurts out, "Can I please have a one-way ticket to Tittsburg...uh...I'm sorry...I mean Pittusburg."

As the woman is creating his ticket, he turns to the man behind him and says, "That...

Ford is creating a new company to manufacture electric vehicles using Tesla software and batteries.

They're naming it Edison.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

News: the creators of reddit are creating a dating app targeted to people who give up easily

It's called "fuckit"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did God say after creating the first digestive system?

Shit just got real.

When God was creating man he said to assistant

Put little toe on his feet too.
Assistant: why?
God: for furniture.
Assistant: furniture?
God: just put it on you will see it would be pretty funny.

Creating a new password

Enter password

'Snowflake'

Re-enter password

'Snowflake'

Your passwords are not alike

Did you hear about the hipster youth pastor creating a new Christian sect combining elements of Protestant and Baptist beliefs?

He's a Pabst-ist.

Edited to help /u/visualshocker get the joke

Netflix is creating a movie about Reddit starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It will be called *Total Repost*.

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