Electrical Jokes

So I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly ...

That hertz.

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

I’m a watt

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.

The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's ... read more

He refused.

I think it constitutes grounds for divorce

Was working on a Generator switchgear with the factory representative who was from Ireland and we had the generators running and the electrical panel open with all the thick bare copper busbars visible. As most may know anything with a ton of electricity flowing through it makes this humming sound. ... read more

He couldn't get enough of the circuits!

He got shocked after I completed the work.

They both have inherit design flaws that can be dangerous in the hands of idiots.

The first says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Look at how we manipulate our arms, legs, lungs, and how blood flows through our bodies. God is a mechanical engineer."

The second says, "No. God is an electrical engineer. Our nervous system, heart, brain. Everything is run by electrical impulse... read more

A plug.

when the civil engineer wonders, "If god were an engineer, what type would he be?"

The electrical engineer says, "Oh, that's easy. Think of the human body: impulses in the brain, signals sent through muscles and nerves...god is an electrical engineer."

The mechanical engineer counters,... read more

It's called **You Conduit!**

One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.

The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.

"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road agai... read more

Lady wanted me to check the light fixture in her bedroom. I set up my ladder under the fixture and removed the cover, then asked if she could turn on the switch at the door. Being out in hallway, she said, “Give me a sec.” I smiled and told her I’d give her all the ‘secs’ she wanted.

I was shocked.

I was shocked and grounded him. He resisted but I told him to stay positive. It's been a week, he's currently doing better and conducting himself properly.

The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the brakes. Let me check 'em out." The electrical engineer said, "I think it was something in the electrical system. Let me check it out." The software engineer said, "Let's push it back up the hill and run it again."

They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

>!They went on a power trip!<

What do they do with logic gates that behave erratically?

They call an XORcist.

He was too afraid to fly over enemy ohmland because he was worried he'd be grounded.

This is a TRUE STORY but hopefully you will find some humor in it.

Back in the early 70s, when I was a college student, I took care of the yard of a lonely widower, named Arthur, who occasionally asked me to join him for a game of chess. He resided in Paradise Valley, AZ. During WWII, Arth... read more

How did the protestors win electrical conductance?


They one by resistance.

"You're Different and That's Bad."

"Why cant Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Socket be Friends?"

"Let's Find and Play With Mommy and Daddy's Toys."

Welp she’s in for a shock.

It was a turtle disaster.

He sits them down and tells them, "I need a way to win a horse race every time. You are each going to think up a plan for doing this... Or else. "

A week later, the biologist walks in, "It's simple. We drug the horses with this series of amphetamines and steroids that I've come up with. "
... read more

“Stop resisting!”

An Ohmelet.

..and CLOSES it.

Wired

It was charged with battery

j love you.

The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter".

The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery".

The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline".

The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

I've been grounded so many times

Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.

He applied for a job and was immediately contacted by a wealthy man who was looking for someone to help incorporate electricity onto his fence. As my friend finished his job he was about to leave when he tripped and landed right onto the fence. I don't even know if he's even alive or if he still has... read more

Number 6 will shock you!

Of course he denied the charge first, but later I found him coiled up in his room.

He's conducting himself better now, so I think that worked out.

Well that's the current situation anyways, but there's definitely potential for greater resistance.

Some days I just feel like I ... read more

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and ... read more

What happens next will shock you.

A sea lion

As they drank, the conversation turned to God. Obviously, he was an engineer! But what sort of engineer?

The mechanical engineer brought up the perfection of the human joints and musculature. Surely that proved God was a mechanical engineer!

The electrical engineer responded that, wi... read more

when their car stalls and they are forced to pull over to the side of the road.

The mechanical engineer says, “It’s probably a mechanical problem. I’ll get my tool box out of the trunk and I can fix it.”

The electrical engineer says, “No, I’ll bet it’s an electrical problem. I have my ... read more