Cameras Jokes - 34 Hilarious Cameras Jokes

Q. Why were photographs so depressing before digital cameras were invented?

A. Because they spent too much time processing the negatives.

Why do iPhone cameras look like a stove top?

Because Tim Cooks.

The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast

honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.

They say the camera adds 10 lbs.

To which I say, “Stop eating cameras.”

Scientists attached cameras to dogs, to learn more about their life.

Turns out: 10% of time - dog trying to get rid from camera and rest of time - it run away from scientists.

I was thinking of adding cameras to the Bible

^(But they probably wouldn't be Canon)

These reversing cameras are great.

Since I got one I haven't looked back.

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I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.

"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"

"To buy groceries," I told him.

"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles ...

What do you call the people with cameras that follow opera singers?

The pavarazzi

Why don't racist people take photographs in old cameras?

'Cause they appear in black and white.

Why do scientists have cameras in the toilet?

They wanna see their pee HD.

You might have read about nature photographers disguising their cameras as herd animals to photograph lions...

Don't believe it.

Fake Gnus

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“Back in the day...” my grandfather started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well.”

“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras...”

What do condoms and phone cameras have in common?

They both capture the moment!

Why don't US presidents like cameras?

They don't like being shot.

I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

Covert Russian Cameras Discovered In High Profile US Officials' Restroom Facilities

The cameras were disassembled, and found to be of Russian origin. Upon further investigation, they are found to be part of a Russian espionage/blackmail program, codenamed 'Operation VCUP'.

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Did you know about colonoscopies before cameras?

Apparently it was a real painter in the ass.

what's the difference between a bunch of cameras and a million dollars?

i haven't hid a million dollars inside your house

Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling

It's called methead acting

TIL that India is installing 15000 CCTV cameras in Delhi for Obama's visit.

This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.... When will the world stop this Racist behaviour ?

A joke from my country (Brazil)

In an international police convention, American FBI, English Scotland Yard and Brazilian BOPE are about to take part in a competition.

A rabbit will be set loose in the woods and the team that retrieves it in the shortest time wins.

First goes the Scotland Yard. They use hounds and hel...

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I haven't felt at home since my wife installed security cameras.

Now I masturbate in the work toilets.

What type of cameras do police officers in the USA like?

Point and Shoot

Back in my day I went to the store with only $1 and came back with 2 bags of chips, 1 carton of milk, and 3 boxes of chocolate

Now they have cameras

Years ago you could enter a grocery store with 25 dollars

and walk out with several kilos of fruits, a loaf of bread meat, cheese, milk and much more.

Nowadays, there are surveillance cameras everywhere.

A Grandfather tells his Grandson, "When I was a boy, you could go into a store with change in your pocket, and come out with a loaf of bread, lunch meat, and a bottle of milk.

The Grandson replies, " You can't do that anymore Grandpa, there's too many cameras now".

I remember when I was a kid I could go to a store with a dollar and get two big bags of chips, a 2 liter of Sprite, 6 bags of Skittles and 6 Slim Jims.

Nowadays they have cameras everywhere inside.

A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.

He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.

A Chinese man went to a psychiatrist in Beijing

He says "I am under a lot of stress. I feel like I am being watched. I feel like there are cameras everywhere, my phone is bugged, someone is opening my mail, and I think I am even being followed by secret police"

The psychiatrist says ". . . . And?"

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I like my sex the way I like my pickpocketing.

Nowhere near security cameras.

When I was a kid 20 years ago, you could go to a convenience store with $5 and come out with what seemed like half of it.

Today you can't, because there are cameras.

All the blondes in the world are tired of being portrayed as stupid

... so they decide to prove that they're just as smart as anyone else.

They hold a big conference, and fill up an entire stadium of blondes. People come from miles and miles to be part of this, the stadium is filled, the city outside the stadium is packed, and millions more watch from home as...

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