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Fashion Jokes

2020's fashion was really terrible

Probably because nobody had any taste

I just got banned from /r/fashion

Apparently they didn't like my threads

Why are LGBT people so fashionable?

Because they spent a lot of time in the closet

Too soon for COVID jokes?

COVID is like fashion…

We started hearing about it in Italy…

Became popular in LA and NYC…

Florida ignored it…

And it was all made in China in the end.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

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Gay people have no excuse to have a bad fashion sense

Like homie what were you doing in the closet that whole time

Some people say rolling for stats in D&D is old fashioned and unforgiving

But I think it builds character.

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One day, King Arthur had to leave Camelot to go for a diplomatic hunt. Worried about his wife's potential infidelity, he asks Merlin to fashion her a chastity belt...

Merlin assures the king that anything that is put through the hole in the chastity belt will be immediately cut off with magic.

Satisfied, King Arthur goes on his hunt. When he returns several days later, he immediately goes to the Knights of the Round Table and asks all of them to drop thei...

I went to a fashion show the other day.

But they were just a bunch if posers.

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A man is staying at an old fashioned pub/inn

Downstairs in the tavern he is drinking before retiring to his room. The innkeep approaches him and proposes a challenge. He has a magical chicken that will grant him one wish if he can beat her in a trivia contest. The man is bemused but accepts the challenge, figuring there’s no harm in indulging ...

A girl in a nudist colony had problems with fashion...

Nothing looked great on her!

how do you call undercover fashion agents who defected to another fashion magazine?

Vogue agents

Edna Mode has been to fashion shows across the global, but there’s one place she will never visit…

Cape Town

I can't have a meaningful conversation with anyone in the fashion industry...

They're all so clothes-minded...

For fashion week, Paris covered the famous Eiffel Tower in camouflage

I'll be honest, I don't see the attraction.

What’s one question that’s only asked of high-fashion celebrities and serial killers?

“Who are you wearing?”

A man discovered a small fashion boutique that had just opened, and went in.

After telling the clerk that he's "just looking", he peeked around and found a shirt he thought would look good on him.

"What a nice shirt," he said.

Then he heard a voice, as if from inside the shirt itself: "What a nice shirt, a nice shirt."

At first, the man was shocked, but...

Click here for a good old fashioned vampire joke.

Ha ha ha. You sucker.

What’s the cheapest fashion?

Freestyle.

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.

...after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's com...

Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?

Anyone can pull them off

Never talk to me about fashion

It just goes in one year and out the other

James Caan shared this one in his famous Twitter fashion

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. End of tweet

Which designer fashion brand would never print their name on panties?

The Gap

A plane is flying over the Mediterranean

A pilots voice comes on
And says a terrible thing has happened.

We’ve lost both engines and we’re gonna have to land in the Mediterranean.

The plane will stay afloat for a very short time.

And we’ll be able to open the door just long enough that everyone can get out.
<...

Why did the mechanic have a disappointing fashion show?

There was no time to change attire.

Where do fashionable ghosts shop?

Bootiques.

I’ve always had an interest in combining fashion and art.

Too bad FART isn’t a major.

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A man calls his friend

Tells him, hey man! I opened my own business. Its a brothel. You should come by! Were having specials now as the business is newly opened!

\-Oh yeah? What prices do you offer?

Well, we're having a special on Anal, thats $100, BJs are also on sale, for only $20.

\-Wow, those pric...

How many trainers will it take to teach Tommy fashion design?

None. Hilfiger it out.

"How can you watch Victoria Secret Fashion Week but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked

" The same way I watch Formula One whole weekend but still drive my trusted 2012 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..

That satisfied her...

I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips

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I was walking through the park and came across this guy typing on an old-fashioned typewriter.

He tapped his chin for a second before saying, "Othello" and began typing away.

Being the curious jerk that I am, I peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing.

He had typed "Othello" on one line and followed it with a description of the name as classically used in the English ...

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Putin and Biden are wrapping up their discussion...

Putin says: "You know, Joe. I had this dream few days ago"

Biden: "Oh, what kind of dream?"

Putin: "I saw America, in flames. Nuclear warhead crater where Capitol used to be. New York leveled. Los Angeles covered in human ash. It was Glorious, Joe. I nearly teared up..."

Biden: ...

My ex broke up with me because she said I was too old fashioned

I thought we had good alchemy

What do you call a socialist who's into fashion?

Commie Hilfiger.

What did the trendy terrorist wear to the fashion exhibition?

A bomber jacket

My parents are old fashioned. When I was a boy they wanted me to play baseball.

And When I was a girl they wanted me to see a psychiatrist

I knew this girl, pretty ugly,(kind of a dog), but she always had a fashionable wardrobe.

She was a woof, in chic clothing.

A man is about to walk into a bar known for having lots of beautiful women, when a bouncer stops him at the door.

The bouncer says, "We have a dress policy where ties are mandatory for men, and you are just wearing a shirt that's open at the collar. So sorry, I can't let you in."

So the man returns to his vehicle, to see if he has a tie anywhere. Sadly, he doesn't, but while looking, he notices a set o...

AIRPLANE FASHION

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.
She asked him, "Were you admiring my airplane?"
He replied, "No, I was admiring the landing field."

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What's the difference between a fashion statement and being horny in WWI?

One's a French Tuck and the other's a...

Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?

From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.

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Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.

Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeepe...

Recent fashion trends...

certainly have given women the cold shoulder, haven't they?

What fashionable shoes do ninjas wear to the anesthesiologist?

Numb Chucks.

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An officer sees a man leave the bar at closing time and walk in a drunken fashion, trying to enter each car parked there.

The officer thinks to himself I have got an easy catch. Meanwhile while this is going in, the other patrons enter their own cars and drive off.

When the drunken man finally climbs in his own car and pulls out, the cop is waiting for him and gives a breath analyser test.

To his surprise...

I spent Valentine's Day the old fashioned way

Running around in a diaper shooting arrows at people

What do you call Jesus at a fashion show?

A Cross Dresser.

Two friends having gotten tired of using instant communication, decided to use old fashioned means of messaging each other, such as pigeons.

For a few days, it is great. Then one day, a pigeon shows up at one friends house with a blank piece of paper.

Angry, the receiver phones his friend to ask what was the meaning of the message.

To which his friend calmly replies, "Oh, that was a missed call."

What do fashionable ducks use to make s'mores?

Glam Quackers

I think Hong Kong is the next big player in the fashion world.

Mask were very in during the protests last year. Now everyone's wearing one.

What do you call a dog's fashion sense?

Doggy style.

News: A Major Fashion Label Releases a Cream for Yeast Infections

It's called "Gucci Coochie Goo".

[NSFW] How did the fashion designer kill himself?

The Hemming Way

What do you call a fashionable subway system

Metro

I once met someone who refused to talk to people unless the conversation was about fashion.

He was very clothes minded.

What do you call a Thai dish that comes in and out of fashion?

Fad Thai

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

Fashion Sense

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make ...

It seems my lady doctor has a crush on me and she really likes my fashion sense.

She told me that I have serious healthy shoes.

According to his biography, Bob Marley's two favourite interests were fashion and comedy.

Or, as he called them, Get Up and Stand Up.

Why can't fashion designers play uno?

Because they always draw a cardigan.

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

He really puts on the best lawsuits.

Is fashion all about clothes?

Apparelently.

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

Just learned that French fashion designers are trying to develop a clothing line made from frozen water.

I SWEAR!!

If “ire” is an old fashioned synonym for anger,

Is Ireland the land of angry people?

Two men are talking whilst having beers, 'Call me old fashioned but I didn't sleep with my wife until we were married' he says 'What about you?'

'I'm not sure to be honest' says the friend ' What was her maiden name?'

What do you call a fashionable paraplegic?

A trendsitter.

In my old fashioned office the multifunction printer broke down.

No fax was given that day...

I know skinny jeans are fashionable...

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

There's a town in Russia where the aristocracy are fashionably polyamorous.

Share-noble.

Burlap pants are coming into fashion,

People are just itching to show off the new look.

My friend is old fashioned. Before proposing to his girlfriend, he asked her father.

But he was already married.

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything?

Calvin Deklein.

Did you hear about the super model with IBS that committed a fashion faux pas?

Got runs in her stockings.

Call me old fashioned but my favorite HTML attributes are still colspan and rowspan

I just love me some big TD’s!

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The Lion, the Witch and a fabulous fashion sense

What did the Lion say to the Witch when she caught him coming out of the wardrobe?

"My sexual preference is Narnia business."

I did a few fashion shoots with Marillion in the ‘80s.

It was very easy work... like shooting Fish in apparel.

If you arrive fashionably late in crocs...

you're just late.

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What do you call a fashionable Japanese warrior?

Glamurai

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A man inherited a farm and decided to remodel it...

He had a great business idea. Turn it into a country vacation destination. Tours for kids, horseback and wagon rides. Learn to milk cows the old fashioned way. Eat fresh farm raised food... Well, he encountered one problem.

There was an ornery old rooster that didn't like strangers hanging a...

The world's richest man is dying...

The world's richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.

But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune. On Earth, everyone knows he's a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he...

What does a Russian fashion designer call people from the United States?

A mannequin.

I made my money the old-fashioned way...

I used a printing press

A PETA member was going to drive himself to a fashion show, but he changed his mind...

...when he found out they would show fur.

It was to be the biggest scientific press conference of the decade.

Geneticist Rick Hallorann spoke to the crowds of reporters, camera flashes illuminating his face.

"The time has finally come for the first human cloning experiment to be performed," he began. "The technology for us to clone humans has been around since the eighties - but only now, after plent...

I'm thinking of starting a fashion line for alcoholics.. I guess I'll just call it..

Michael Coors Light

Don't you hate the purely fashionable pockets that don't open to hold anything?

What a complete stitch-up.

Chad always has an impeccable fashion sense, even when he's not trying

People ask him how he does it and he tells them, "Well, I didn't stay in the closet all those years for nothing".

My Dad taught me to swim the old fashion way

He took me down to the river and threw me in. As soon as I got out of that burlap sack I could swim like a fish!

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She kept busy

A man arrived home early from work and caught his sexy young wife in bed with another man…
The dishonored husband challenged the other man to an old-fashioned duel using his pistols, announcing angrily, "Whoever manages to shoot first and kill the other, gets her…"
The other man agreed to th...

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

4 religious women were chatting

First woman mentions her son:

-My son is a priest, whenever he enters a community, people stand up and call him, "Father, welcome"

The second woman doesn't seem impressed:

-My son is a bishop, people call him "Your excellency" when he is in a community.

The third woman ta...

We gave our children old-fashioned names...

Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley

What did they call the guy who sold several fashionable hat companies for an incredibly large sum of money?

A multi-milliner.

What do you call a group of ducks quacking at once in a disorderly fashion?

Quack-aphony

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21

My girlfriend said that I was too old-fashioned.

So I beheaded her.

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I'm trying to create a good ol fashion porn shop for us necrophiliacs. I know just what to call it

Welcome to the Creamatorium

At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.

Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!

Shut up and eat what you're told.

Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!

Shut up and keep swimming.

Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Honestly, I'm scarre...

Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way

We urn it.

I'm going to write a TV show about a detective living in Hawaii who uses mathematics to solve crimes in a circular fashion

that's right, Magnum Pi.

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