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Why are LGBT people so fashionable?

Because they spent a lot of time in the closet

Why do fashion designers never have any good ideas?

They're too clothes minded.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

A fashion designer was interviewing a cannibal...

"So what do you think would best complement a person?"
"Salt and pepper."

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Gay people have no excuse to have a bad fashion sense...

My friend, what were you doing in the closet that whole time???

Two friends having gotten tired of using instant communication, decided to use old fashioned means of messaging each other, such as pigeons.

For a few days, it is great. Then one day, a pigeon shows up at one friends house with a blank piece of paper.

Angry, the receiver phones his friend to ask what was the meaning of the message.

To which his friend calmly replies, "Oh, that was a missed call."

how do you call undercover fashion agents who defected to another fashion magazine?

Vogue agents

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An officer sees a man leave the bar at closing time and walk in a drunken fashion, trying to enter each car parked there.

The officer thinks to himself I have got an easy catch. Meanwhile while this is going in, the other patrons enter their own cars and drive off.

When the drunken man finally climbs in his own car and pulls out, the cop is waiting for him and gives a breath analyser test.

To his surprise...

"How can you watch Victoria Secret Fashion Week but still claim you love only me?" My wife asked

" The same way I watch Formula One whole weekend but still drive my trusted 2012 Toyota Camry everyday" I replied..

That satisfied her...

I just failed to mention I take rental at Enterprise when I go on business trips

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I was walking through the park and came across this guy typing on an old-fashioned typewriter.

He tapped his chin for a second before saying, "Othello" and began typing away.

Being the curious jerk that I am, I peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing.

He had typed "Othello" on one line and followed it with a description of the name as classically used in the English ...

2020's fashion was really terrible

Probably because nobody had any taste

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Putin and Biden are wrapping up their discussion...

Putin says: "You know, Joe. I had this dream few days ago"

Biden: "Oh, what kind of dream?"

Putin: "I saw America, in flames. Nuclear warhead crater where Capitol used to be. New York leveled. Los Angeles covered in human ash. It was Glorious, Joe. I nearly teared up..."

Biden: ...

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She kept busy

A man arrived home early from work and caught his sexy young wife in bed with another man…
The dishonored husband challenged the other man to an old-fashioned duel using his pistols, announcing angrily, "Whoever manages to shoot first and kill the other, gets her…"
The other man agreed to th...

I knew this girl, pretty ugly,(kind of a dog), but she always had a fashionable wardrobe.

She was a woof, in chic clothing.

4 religious women were chatting

First woman mentions her son:

-My son is a priest, whenever he enters a community, people stand up and call him, "Father, welcome"

The second woman doesn't seem impressed:

-My son is a bishop, people call him "Your excellency" when he is in a community.

The third woman ta...

Which designer fashion brand would never print their name on panties?

The Gap

How many trainers will it take to teach Tommy fashion design?

None. Hilfiger it out.

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.

...after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's com...

Click here for a good old fashioned vampire joke.

Ha ha ha. You sucker.

A Man Notices his Co-Worker Wearing an Earring One Day

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
<...

How would you describe me?

**Wife:** “How would you describe me?”

**Husband:** “ABCDEFGHIJK.”

**Wife:** “What does that mean?”

**Husband:** “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”

**Wife:** “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

**Husband:** “I’m just ...

I just got banned from /r/fashion

Apparently they didn't like my threads

I went to a fashion show the other day.

But they were just a bunch if posers.

Jacket

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day. My secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday, and there it was, on the back of a kitchen chair.

Why did the mechanic have a disappointing fashion show?

There was no time to change attire.

Little old man on the bus

A little old man gets on a crowded city bus, every seat filled. A tough looking bloke with a lot of prison tattoos is kicking his feet onto the seat opposite him, keeping it from being used.

The little old waddles over says 'scuze me' and pushes the tough bloke's legs off the seat.
...

Bachelor shopping

A man, enjoying bachelorhood while his wife was away visiting her parents, lived like a typical bachelor, living on whatever was in the pantry.

Cauliflower in the fridge? Fry them with the eggs found there and that's lunch and dinner. Don't want to cook? Open up the cans of soup in the pantry...

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A man is staying at an old fashioned pub/inn

Downstairs in the tavern he is drinking before retiring to his room. The innkeep approaches him and proposes a challenge. He has a magical chicken that will grant him one wish if he can beat her in a trivia contest. The man is bemused but accepts the challenge, figuring there’s no harm in indulging ...

I’ve always had an interest in combining fashion and art.

Too bad FART isn’t a major.

What’s the cheapest fashion?

Freestyle.

Never talk to me about fashion

It just goes in one year and out the other

With the world hating Russians again

The 80's have truly come back in fashion.

My parents are old fashioned. When I was a boy they wanted me to play baseball.

And When I was a girl they wanted me to see a psychiatrist

It seems my lady doctor has a crush on me and she really likes my fashion sense.

She told me that I have serious healthy shoes.

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One day, King Arthur had to leave Camelot to go for a diplomatic hunt. Worried about his wife's potential infidelity, he asks Merlin to fashion her a chastity belt...

Merlin assures the king that anything that is put through the hole in the chastity belt will be immediately cut off with magic.

Satisfied, King Arthur goes on his hunt. When he returns several days later, he immediately goes to the Knights of the Round Table and asks all of them to drop thei...

A young jock enters a pharmacy to buy condoms

Knowing the pharmacists is an old-fashioned gentleman and noticing a slight frown on his face, the young man decides to have some fun at his expenses by asking for another pack, remarking "you know, my girlfriend truly sounded thirsty last time I talked to her... Better be sure we don't run out!"...

Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?

From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.

I once met someone who refused to talk to people unless the conversation was about fashion.

He was very clothes minded.

According to his biography, Bob Marley's two favourite interests were fashion and comedy.

Or, as he called them, Get Up and Stand Up.

My ex broke up with me because she said I was too old fashioned

I thought we had good alchemy

Just learned that French fashion designers are trying to develop a clothing line made from frozen water.

I SWEAR!!

Why did the Chinese couple take their newborn back to the hospital?

He was Caucasian, and they knew two Wongs don't make a white.



.

.

.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT condone racism in any way, form or fashion. It's just wordplay, folks. Apologies to anyone too sensitive for my humor.

I think Hong Kong is the next big player in the fashion world.

Mask were very in during the protests last year. Now everyone's wearing one.

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What's the difference between a fashion statement and being horny in WWI?

One's a French Tuck and the other's a...

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

He really puts on the best lawsuits.

News: A Major Fashion Label Releases a Cream for Yeast Infections

It's called "Gucci Coochie Goo".

What fashionable shoes do ninjas wear to the anesthesiologist?

Numb Chucks.

Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?

Anyone can pull them off

People keep talking about these "safe spaces". Well, call me old fashioned but I'm going to keep on calling them what they REALLY are...

Banks

What do you call a Thai dish that comes in and out of fashion?

Fad Thai

What did the trendy terrorist wear to the fashion exhibition?

A bomber jacket

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I'm trying to create a good ol fashion porn shop for us necrophiliacs. I know just what to call it

Welcome to the Creamatorium

Did you hear about the super model with IBS that committed a fashion faux pas?

Got runs in her stockings.

Call me old fashioned but my favorite HTML attributes are still colspan and rowspan

I just love me some big TD’s!

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

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Sixty Years

In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So, the reporter went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there was the old man, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched hi...

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Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.

Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeepe...

What do fashionable ducks use to make s'mores?

Glam Quackers

Where do fashionable ghosts shop?

Bootiques.

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Girl and her dad are driving around, when an aisle of women leaving a fashion show suddenly walk onto the road, nearly being hit by them.

Girl says: "That was pretty fucking clothes."

What do you call a socialist who's into fashion?

Commie Hilfiger.

What did they call the guy who sold several fashionable hat companies for an incredibly large sum of money?

A multi-milliner.

I'm going to write a TV show about a detective living in Hawaii who uses mathematics to solve crimes in a circular fashion

that's right, Magnum Pi.

If “ire” is an old fashioned synonym for anger,

Is Ireland the land of angry people?

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How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

What do you call Jesus at a fashion show?

A Cross Dresser.

A Russian, an American, and an Englishman catch a goldfish while fishing on a boat

The goldfish pleads to them: “C’mon guys, I have a family down there, don’t eat me! Here’s what I’ll do for you, wherever you want to go, just say the place and jump off of the boat into the water, the very next moment you’ll be there.”

The Russian comes forward and says: “I’ve missed my dear...

I spent Valentine's Day the old fashioned way

Running around in a diaper shooting arrows at people

A PETA member was going to drive himself to a fashion show, but he changed his mind...

...when he found out they would show fur.

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee:

Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

[NSFW] How did the fashion designer kill himself?

The Hemming Way

What do you call a fashionable subway system

Metro

In my old fashioned office the multifunction printer broke down.

No fax was given that day...

What do you call a dog's fashion sense?

Doggy style.

My friend is old fashioned. Before proposing to his girlfriend, he asked her father.

But he was already married.

You don’t hear much about nip slips anymore.

They’re falling out of fashion.

There's a town in Russia where the aristocracy are fashionably polyamorous.

Share-noble.

I'm thinking of starting a fashion line for alcoholics.. I guess I'll just call it..

Michael Coors Light

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What do you call six men having anal sex with a woman in the back of an old fashioned car?

Shitty Shitty Gang Bang!

I was trying to find out where my local pelt-merchant was hosting a “Lupine Designs” fashion gala for his fellow lycanthropes this year

So I asked “Where is the werewolf’s wolf-wares warehouse where werewolves wear wolves’ wares?”

I was at a lingerie store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

Did you hear about the fashion designer who was on the phone while driving and nearly got into an accident?

It was a clothes call.

Why did the hoody smell like weed?

It was high fashion.

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at Heaven's Gate.



Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God to the guy : '' Who Are You....???? ''



Guy : '' I am a Bus driver''



God : Take this Gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.



God ...

I have a joke about a pirate lady who got hit in the chest by a cannonball and needed some good old-fashioned pirate surgery

But it would be funnier with a punchline, wooden tit?

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.

Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!

Shut up and eat what you're told.

Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!

Shut up and keep swimming.

Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Honestly, I'm scarre...

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A guy wants to experience some deep soul searching solitude...

He manages to hire an old abandoned sheep station in outback Australia. Tens of thousands of vast empty hectares stretching out to all the horizons.

As soon as the chopper drops him off, flies away and the dust settles, the quiet falls upon him. The distance recedes out endlessly in front of...

A blonde was checked into the hospital when a fire broke out.

A blonde was checked into the hospital when a fire broke out. The entire hospital was being evacuated. As the fire spread, a fireman was checking for stragglers when he found the blonde choking on smoke while pulling on a nurse's assistant's gown. The fireman grabbed the blonde and took her outside ...

I did a few fashion shoots with Marillion in the ‘80s.

It was very easy work... like shooting Fish in apparel.

I’ll never join one of those online dating services because I prefer to meet someone the good old-fashioned way...

Through alcohol and poor judgement...

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The Lion, the Witch and a fabulous fashion sense

What did the Lion say to the Witch when she caught him coming out of the wardrobe?

"My sexual preference is Narnia business."

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A new farmer from the city

He's given up on city life and dropped everything and bough 20 acres in the country.

The problem is he doesn't know anything about farming. So he goes to the feed store to ask some friendly farmers for some help in the right direction.

Luckily an old farmer there is happy to see youn...

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything?

Calvin Deklein.

Why can't fashion designers play uno?

Because they always draw a cardigan.

We gave our children old-fashioned names...

Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley

I know skinny jeans are fashionable...

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

I had no complaints....

I had no complaints when i became interested in Buddhism and became a Budist

a few more when i became invested in affirmative action and became an activist

but as soon as i got into fashion....

What do you call a group of ducks quacking at once in a disorderly fashion?

Quack-aphony

AIRPLANE FASHION

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.
She asked him, "Were you admiring my airplane?"
He replied, "No, I was admiring the landing field."

I wanted to send over an invoice to the Westboro Baptist Church using an old-fashioned method of communication, but they told me...

God hates fax.

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

Recent fashion trends...

certainly have given women the cold shoulder, haven't they?

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21

My girlfriend said that I was too old-fashioned.

So I beheaded her.

I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks.

I'd much prefer a cup of C++.

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What if Prom is just an elaborate business scams that fashion companies carry out every year to sell all the shitty, cheap dresses to high school kids because the rich people wouldn't buy them?

*scam

I is stupid.

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk.

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian complies, putting a couple of books...

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A man went to the doctor to inquire about options for penis enlargement...

"Doc," he said, "you've got to help me. My penis is miniscule. It always has been. The other boys used to make fun of me in the locker room, girls I dated would laugh at me as soon as we got to the bedroom... I experienced nothing but humiliation my whole life, until I met my wife, god bless her. Sh...

The Heavy Weight World Champion belt will no longer be fashioned to look like a large watch.

They realized it was just a huge waist of time.

What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map?

Incontinent

A panda walks into a bar...

A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual an...

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