Why do fashion designers never have any good ideas?

They're too clothes minded.

My parents are old fashioned. When I was a boy they wanted me to play baseball.

And When I was a girl they wanted me to see a psychiatrist

2020's fashion was really terrible

Probably because nobody had any taste

What did the trendy terrorist wear to the fashion exhibition?

A bomber jacket

What’s the cheapest fashion?

Freestyle.

I wish there had been fashion police at the capitol the other day

They would have actually arrested people

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Gay people have no excuse to have a bad fashion sense

Like homie what were you doing in the closet that whole time

I once met someone who refused to talk to people unless the conversation was about fashion.

He was very clothes minded.

Have you guys heard about the deaf fashion designer?

Whenever he watched anything, he needed clothed captions!

Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?

From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.

What fashion brand quickly raises armies?

Levy's

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.

...after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's com...

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A man is staying at an old fashioned pub/inn

Downstairs in the tavern he is drinking before retiring to his room. The innkeep approaches him and proposes a challenge. He has a magical chicken that will grant him one wish if he can beat her in a trivia contest. The man is bemused but accepts the challenge, figuring there’s no harm in indulging ...

I think Hong Kong is the next big player in the fashion world.

Mask were very in during the protests last year. Now everyone's wearing one.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

He really puts on the best lawsuits.

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

What did they call the guy who sold several fashionable hat companies for an incredibly large sum of money?

A multi-milliner.

Two friends met at the neighborhood supermarket.

When they got to the checkout one of the ladies started rummaging through her purse for her wallet, she took out a few things, including a TV remote.

“Do you always take the remote with you when you go shopping?” The other woman laughed.

“No,” the woman answered “But I asked my husband...

A man with no arms applies to be the local church bell squire.

The pastor looks him over and says - Well, we didn't get alot of interest in the posting, so the job is yours, but I'm not sure how you plan on pulling the rope to the bell?
The man climbs up to the church steeple and runs at the bell as fast as he can. BOOOONG! He hits it with his face and it so...

A Priest dies & is waiting in line at Heaven's Gate.



Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God to the guy : '' Who Are You....???? ''



Guy : '' I am a Bus driver''



God : Take this Gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.



God ...

Call me old fashioned but my favorite HTML attributes are still colspan and rowspan

I just love me some big TD’s!

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A young girl was about to get married.

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.

"Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something."

"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.

Two weeks after the wedding, the girl a...

Why do the clothes in Beauty and the Beast look so old-fashioned?

Tailors old as time…

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

According to his biography, Bob Marley's two favourite interests were fashion and comedy.

Or, as he called them, Get Up and Stand Up.

News: A Major Fashion Label Releases a Cream for Yeast Infections

It's called "Gucci Coochie Goo".

Are camo-pattern clothes still in fashion?

I don't see them anywhere these days.

I went to a fashion show the other day.

But they were just a bunch if posers.

People keep talking about these "safe spaces". Well, call me old fashioned but I'm going to keep on calling them what they REALLY are...

Banks

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I'm trying to create a good ol fashion porn shop for us necrophiliacs. I know just what to call it

Welcome to the Creamatorium

What do you call a socialist who's into fashion?

Commie Hilfiger.

Have you heard about the new trend? People are putting baked goods on their ear studs

Its pie-on-earring fashion

Did you hear about the super model with IBS that committed a fashion faux pas?

Got runs in her stockings.

A young man goes into a confessional booth and confesses to the priest that he used the Lord's name in vain.

"Tell me what happened my child, so we may begin the path of forgiveness." Said the priest behind the curtain.

"I was golfing," began the man. "And my first shot went deep into the rough."

"Ah, and that is where you misused the Lord's name is it?" Replied the priest.

"No father,...

I'm going to write a TV show about a detective living in Hawaii who uses mathematics to solve crimes in a circular fashion

that's right, Magnum Pi.

I just got banned from /r/fashion

Apparently they didn't like my threads

Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.

Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...

Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.

In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his bud...

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What's the difference between a fashion statement and being horny in WWI?

One's a French Tuck and the other's a...

Never talk to me about fashion

It just goes in one year and out the other

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One day, King Arthur had to leave Camelot to go for a diplomatic hunt. Worried about his wife's potential infidelity, he asks Merlin to fashion her a chastity belt...

Merlin assures the king that anything that is put through the hole in the chastity belt will be immediately cut off with magic.

Satisfied, King Arthur goes on his hunt. When he returns several days later, he immediately goes to the Knights of the Round Table and asks all of them to drop thei...

A man is walking down the road

One day and notices someone putting a bag filled with meat on the hook of a very tall crane.

The man in question asks him and says "why are you putting that up there?" In a clearly bewildered fashion.

He replies and says "my boss is making me do it, I think it pointless but he says the...

What fashionable shoes do ninjas wear to the anesthesiologist?

Numb Chucks.

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk.

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian complies, putting a couple of books...

This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co- worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”“Yo, Bob, I didn’t know you were into earrings.”“Oh, yeah, sure,” says Bob sheepishly.“Really? How long have you been wearing one?”“Ever since my wife found it in our bed!”

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Bob, an accountant





was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean fishing.


His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger-side floor.


He was late getting home and was speeding... Wouldn't you know that a...

What do fashionable ducks use to make s'mores?

Glam Quackers

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A man calls his boss one morning, and says..

“Hey boss, i’m sorry but I don’t think i’ll be able to make it today. I’m feeling really under the weather.”

His boss, a pretty old fashioned man, replies:

“Listen here, mister. Whenever I feel under the weather, I go see my wife, and tell her to polish my knob, grease my engines and d...

Where do fashionable ghosts shop?

Bootiques.

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It was weeks leading up to my prom, I didn’t have a date yet...

So I asked this girl in my class to go with me, and I knew I had to pull out all the stops.

I wanted to buy her flowers and chocolates when I asked her, so I went to the florist but when I got there there was a 15 minute line that I had to wait. I thought ‘Thats fine, it’s prom season’. I wai...

What do you call a fashionable subway system

Metro

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Girl and her dad are driving around, when an aisle of women leaving a fashion show suddenly walk onto the road, nearly being hit by them.

Girl says: "That was pretty fucking clothes."

My girlfriend walked out on me for being too old fashioned.

I thought we had good alchemy

In my old fashioned office the multifunction printer broke down.

No fax was given that day...

What do you call Jesus at a fashion show?

A Cross Dresser.

A PETA member was going to drive himself to a fashion show, but he changed his mind...

...when he found out they would show fur.

A man walked into a bar and orders a drink...

“What’ll you have?” asks the bartender

Man - Anything but a Bud Light
So the bartender pours him a Jack and Coke

After a while the man again requests a drink.

Bartender - what will it be this time?
Man - Anything but a Bud Light
After then finishing his Old Fashioned, t...

A young city biker walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis

A young city biker walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD. Sturgis! He finally made it. He had several items on his must-do list, and this tavern was one of them. The chili, he'd been told, was world famous.

As he sits down at the bar, he notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, s...

I spent Valentine's Day the old fashioned way

Running around in a diaper shooting arrows at people

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Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.

Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeepe...

A theological one for the computer scientists

After the animals exited the ark, the Lord came to the animals and the Lord spoke "Go forth and multiply".

The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, we cannot fulfil the commandment, for we are adders"

Thus spoke the Lord "Go and cut down the trees, and out of the trees you shall fashi...

[NSFW] How did the fashion designer kill himself?

The Hemming Way

What do fashionable apes wear in the jungle?

Dolce and Banana.

If “ire” is an old fashioned synonym for anger,

Is Ireland the land of angry people?

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A man is sitting alone at home, when suddenly there’s a knock at his door ...

Standing at the door is a door to door salesman.

Man: Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.

Salesman: But what I’m selling is very interesting. I’m a purveyor of luxury prosthetics. Allow me to demonstrate.

And he raises the right leg of his pants. His leg is solid gold!...

I once spent ten years marooned on a tropical shore...

I lived on nothing but coconuts and seafood. I fashioned sandals out of leaves, a hut out of grass and sticks, and I kept myself healthy with wild plants. One day I was scouring the beach for copper wire to build the radio I was working on, and I came across a small white spheroid about 2" in diamet...

You haven't heard of The Incredible Hulk's new fashion line?

It's all the rage.

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A toothpaste factory had a problem

Due to the way the production line was set up, sometimes empty boxes were shipped without the tube inside. People with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming off of it is perfect 100% ...

What do you call a dog's fashion sense?

Doggy style.

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There was a baby boy born without eyelids ...

To remedy his everlasting stare, when it came time to purge the foreskin, it was fashioned into a new set of eyelids. I guess that's what it means to be cockeyed.

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What do you call six men having anal sex with a woman in the back of an old fashioned car?

Shitty Shitty Gang Bang!

There was a fire in a yodelling school.

Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion.

My friend is old fashioned. Before proposing to his girlfriend, he asked her father.

But he was already married.

There's a town in Russia where the aristocracy are fashionably polyamorous.

Share-noble.

Why are prosthetic limbs so in fashion?

Anyone can pull them off

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A plane is flying over the Amazon when it crashes...

...three men survive the plane crash (German, French, American).

They crash near a village and get captured by the tribe. The villagers tell the three men that: "We aren't cannibals, and we're normally peaceful and wouldn't kill you, but our canoes are riddled with holes, and we need your sk...

Did you hear about the fashion designer who was on the phone while driving and nearly got into an accident?

It was a clothes call.

A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant to eat and they have a dress code.

The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

**Host** Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

**Host** Alright.... I guess you ha...

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee:

Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

I was trying to find out where my local pelt-merchant was hosting a “Lupine Designs” fashion gala for his fellow lycanthropes this year

So I asked “Where is the werewolf’s wolf-wares warehouse where werewolves wear wolves’ wares?”

I'm thinking of starting a fashion line for alcoholics.. I guess I'll just call it..

Michael Coors Light

An orange, a pea, and a lemon are barhopping

They visit bar after bar, getting as many drinks as they can before they're cut off, and getting further away from home.

Orange notices a large hill, and suggests rolling down it to get back home. The pea and the lemon think this is a great idea, and they all climb up the hill.

Now a...

I have a joke about a pirate lady who got hit in the chest by a cannonball and needed some good old-fashioned pirate surgery

But it would be funnier with a punchline, wooden tit?

If you arrive fashionably late wearing crocs

You’re just late

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21

I was at a lingerie store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

I’ll never join one of those online dating services because I prefer to meet someone the good old-fashioned way...

Through alcohol and poor judgement...

I did a few fashion shoots with Marillion in the ‘80s.

It was very easy work... like shooting Fish in apparel.

What does a Russian fashion designer call people from the United States?

A mannequin.

At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.

Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!

Shut up and eat what you're told.

Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!

Shut up and keep swimming.

Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Honestly, I'm scarre...

A man walks into an old-fashioned road-side dinner...

He sits at the bar and watches the cook, wearing a dirty wife beater, make hamburgers. The cook takes a ball of ground beef, places it under his armpit, then squashes it flat. Finally he throws it on the grill and repeats. After watching this a few times, the patron finally speaks out and says "t...

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panda

So this panda is tired of hanging around the zoo and decides one night, when his cage is accidently left open, that he's going to do what people do.

Being after dark, he's heads to the bar for some good 'ol fashion binge drinkin'

So this panda bear is sitting at the bar drinking some b...

During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expres...

I asked my daughter for the news

I asked my daughter to bring me the newspaper. she said I'm too old fashioned and brought me her iPhone. Not getting too much into details, the fly is now dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter is crying

My girlfriend said that I was too old-fashioned.

So I beheaded her.

I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks.

I'd much prefer a cup of C++.

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The Lion, the Witch and a fabulous fashion sense

What did the Lion say to the Witch when she caught him coming out of the wardrobe?

"My sexual preference is Narnia business."

What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything?

Calvin Deklein.

Husband and Wife are talking about them......!

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "A B C D E F G H I J K."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

What do you call a group of ducks quacking at once in a disorderly fashion?

Quack-aphony

The Heavy Weight World Champion belt will no longer be fashioned to look like a large watch.

They realized it was just a huge waist of time.

Why can't fashion designers play uno?

Because they always draw a cardigan.

I know skinny jeans are fashionable...

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are in a plane that crashes in the Amazon...

They are swiftly captured by a tribe of cannibals. The leader of their tribe tells them that outsiders from the sky are to be sacrificed for the good of the people. They will be cooked alive, the village will feast on their flesh, they will make weapons from their bones, and use their skin for canoe...

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What if Prom is just an elaborate business scams that fashion companies carry out every year to sell all the shitty, cheap dresses to high school kids because the rich people wouldn't buy them?

*scam

I is stupid.

We gave our children old-fashioned names...

Our little boy is Hunter and our little girl is Gatherer. - Brian Kiley

AIRPLANE FASHION

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.
She asked him, "Were you admiring my airplane?"
He replied, "No, I was admiring the landing field."

Recent fashion trends...

certainly have given women the cold shoulder, haven't they?

Colleague said "I used to be the most fashionable chick in my batch in college!"

To which "What changed after college?" Is not the apt reply.

Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way

We urn it.

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.   

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.   

After careful consideration by a team of...

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