UPJOKE
laceunderwearundiesbrassieresilkgownunderclothesnightgowndenimbeachwearouterwearmenswearapparelswimsuitundergarment

Lingerie Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man enters a Jew's lingerie store...

-I want 20 black bras size 85 D.

The Jew:

-Of course, but black is rare color, so their price is 15$ for each one.

-It does not matter,

said the Chinese,

-I'll pay.

He took the purchase and left. After a week the Chinese returns again.

-I want 30 bl...

My girlfriend bought some lingerie

She said it was for me, but the she got upset when I put it on. I’ll never understand women.

Did you hear that William Shatner’s lingerie company went out of business?

Turns out no one wanted to buy underwear from a place called Shatner Panties

An Economist went to a lingerie shop

to buy a bra for his wife. While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.


The smart Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic...

300 lb man decides to lose weight one day.

A 300 lb man decides he is tired of being so fat and wants to lose weight. So he gets on the Internet and finds a program that claims you can lose 10lbs in 2 weeks or your money back.

So he orders the program, and the very next day there is a knock on his door. He opens it up and there is a ...

Did you know that William Shatner once tried to start up his own line of lingerie for women?

Unfortunately for him, Shatner Panties was a terrible brand name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British soldier returns from war after 4 years against the Germans.

His faithful wife, longing for sex all these years, dresses up in her sheerest lingerie, hoping to entice her returning husband. She waits by the door as her husband enters and her lingerie gently slips off her body and she stands there naked. “Darling, look what the wind blew away”, she says seduct...

Starbucks and Victoria's Secret are collaborating on a new line of designer lingerie.

Coffee cups.

I have a friend who works as security at a well-known lingerie store.

He prefers to say he's part of the Victoria Secret Service.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pet shop looking for a new bird

He sees a parrot in a cage with a tag reading "$10", the man asks, "why is he so cheap?", he then heard "Because I'm defective, I've got no legs." Surprised the man asked, "Well how do you stay on your perch?" The parrot draws him closer and whispers, "I have a big penis. I just wrap it around the b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three mates get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, an...

What's a math teacher's favorite piece of lingerie?

An alge-bra.

My favourite type of lingerie

My favourite type of lingerie is when it's on the floor...

Much to the annoyance of the store clerk

I was in a fancy lingerie shop, and I asked the cashier if these knickers were satin..

She said ‘no, they’re brand new!’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For his 50th wedding anniversary, a man decided to buy some lingerie for his wife.

He went to one of the finer stores in town and asked to see some of their nightgowns. When the salesperson brought out the first item he asked how much it was and was told $100. “I’d like something a little more sheer” said the gentleman. The salesperson brought out a second item, whereupon the gent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anniversary Lingerie

For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.

He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out."

"W...

I bought my girlfriend lingerie

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, ‘I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.’ And I said, ‘If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.’

William Shatner has discontinued his new line of lingerie.

Apparently, Shatner panties wasn’t the best choice for a name.

What rhymes with lingerie.

No it doesn't.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife surprised me with sexy lingerie.

I should have locked the door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The owner of the sex shop sold some lingerie to my girlfriend that has zero sex appeal.

But the lingerie is decent.

What kind of lingerie attracts the most donations for cam girls?

White knighties.

The original actor who played Captain Kirk tried to start a Star Trek themed line of women’s lingerie.

But no one would invest in Shatner Panties.

(An oldie, but deserved a fresh posting)

What's a piece of lingerie that reveals more skin than the wearer consciously desired to show?

A Freudian slip.

William Shatner

Did y’all hear about William Shatner’s failed business idea for women’s lingerie store?

Apparently, “Shatner Panties”, was not the best name for the store.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Support your local mailman

On John's last day as a mailman after 40 years serving the same neighborhood, the first house on his route gave him a nice gift envelope with $100 in cash.

At the second house, they gave him a box of high-quality cigars.

At the third house, they handed him a selection of great fishing ...

Thinking about opening a lingerie shop for plus size women

....... Gonna call it KING THONG

What do German women's lingerie and Africa have in common?

Ze-bras!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to a psychiatrist

She says I'm having a problem with my husband.

He's totally fixated on his mother....

He thinks about nothing but his mother..

All he cares about is his mom...

What can I do to have him think about me?

The shrink says you have to sex it up a bit//

Wear linge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are you putting your sexy lingerie? It's just a dentist appointment after all.

\- Yeah, but what if he is a pervert?

A dyslexic man walks into a bar…

…and apologizes to the lingerie model.

(Pretty sure it’s original)

What does a lingerie store and a guitar store have in common?

They both sell G-strings

A group of lingerie models were protesting

They were met with stiff resistance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a hidden camera in a lingerie store dressing room?

A booby trap!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man bought his wife sexy lingerie for Women's Day...

Seventy-five year old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Women’s Day.
Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife met me at the front door wearing sexy lingerie

The only trouble was, she was coming home.
- joke stole from the great Rodney Dangerfield

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buddy saw me putting on women's lingerie after we played racquetball...

He asked, "Cool, since when do you wear sexy women's leggings?"

And I told him, "Ever since my wife found them in the glove box."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a sex shop to purchase a small see-through lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 85 year old man wanted to spice up his marriage

He went to a lingerie shop to get a sexy lingerie for his 80 year old wife. He got an expensive one and went home.

Later that night he gave it to his wife and told her to put it on. She went to the bathroom to put it on and found out that it was too small for her. She thought “He does not hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came home to find candle light in my dining table,my favourite meatloaf in the oven and my wife dressed up in lingerie

She came close to me and whispered " I shaved my vagina . Do you know what that means ?"

"Oh fuck , you clogged the drains again! Where is the plunger? "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My next door neighbour knocked my door last night, wearing lingerie and stockings. Asked to borrow a cup of sugar and if I wanted to come over for a night cap

I said, 'Fuck off Dave, I've got work in the bloody morning' .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a girlfriend that was into lingerie. You know what the bad thing is about crotchless panties?

Your balls hang out the bottem of em!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife said my New Year resolution needs to be to have more romance and sex

As a good husband I booked an expensive suite for a long weekend in a posh hotel. I got dressed up, bought some sexy lingerie for her and some cosplay outfits. Got some viagra so I could perform all night long.

Romantic dinner on a French restaurant, candle light dinner and was amazing. She w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was driving home from work when he remembered it was the 20th anniversary of his marriage

He still needed to get a gift for his wife, so he stopped at the department store on his way home. He quickly went to the lingerie department to pick up a gift and a sales associate was very happy to help. The sales associate asked what his budget was, to which he responded about $50. She showed him...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] My therapist asked me what was my earliest erotic remembrance and I told him it was wearing my mother's lingerie when I was a child.

he said it was probably a Freudian slip.

A woman in her forties tells her doctor, “My husband has completely lost interest in me”.

He gives her a bottle of drops, and tells her: “Put three drops in his dinner, no more, no less”.

She then goes home and makes dumplings. Right before the time he usually gets home from work, she puts three drops in, but then remembers how apathetic he is, and goes for the whole bottle.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The accommodating wife

A woman complains to her friend that her husband is losing interest in sex, and he prefers nights out with the lads to the joys of copulation. Her friend tells her that to win his love she must make more effort. She advises her to cook a slap-up meal and then send him drinking with his pals down the...

A woman was working at a lingerie counter when a customer approached with a pair of frilly panties.

"I'd like to buy these," she said, "but only if you can embroider 'If you can read this, you're too close' on the back."
So the saleswoman took the panties to the tailor in the backroom and described the rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "I can do that. Does she want block letters or ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walking his dog comes across an old man sat on a park bench sobbing

He walks up to him out of concern, and says "Is everything OK?".

The old man says "Well not really".

"What's wrong?" says the man?

"Well a couple of weeks ago, I married this 30 year old exotic dancer. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. Every morning, she wakes me up...

(NSFW) A redneck bought a computer and he was trying to browse internet with his friend.

They came across a shopping website which they mistook for a dating website and went to the lingerie section .

After a long selection, his friend said " look this woman wearing red lingerie is really gorgeous and is only $49.99. order her" .

So he went and ordered it .

2 weeks l...

I was at a lingerie store and they were advertising an old fashioned-looking nighty with the tag line "Just like mother used to wear"...

It's called a Freudian Slip.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Santa Claus goes down a chimney to find an older woman laying on the couch in a bath robe..

She says to him, “Santa can you stay with me tonight, please?”
Santa says, “no no no, gotta go. Gotta deliver presents to all the boys and girls”
She takes her bath robe off to reveal that she’s wearing lingerie underneath and asks Santa, “Santa would you please stay the night with me?”
San...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A women wanted to spice things up in the bedroom so she went to a professional sex therapist. The Therapist went through an exhaustive list and importantly how to look sexy, which is to gently bite your lips and raise your eyebrows suggestively.

the next morning the women was in tears... she called the therapist and explained that not only did it not worked but it had completely ruin the mood. The therapist then proceeded to ask here her intimate details ( did you wear the lingerie, perfume, etc ) and could not figure out whey it didn't w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mailman is working his last day on a route he's been doing for 20 years

He gets to the first house and a man greets him at the door with a very expensive bottle of wine and thanks him for his service. He arrives at the next house and is greeted by the entire family with a box of Cuban cigars and everyone wishes him a happy retirement.

He arrives at the third hous...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a brothel looking for something different

He goes to the counter and tells the lady “I feel like I’ve tried everything. Regular sex is boring for me. I’ve done 2 girls, 3 girls, 2 guys, 3 guys, toys, watching, everything. I can’t even get it up anymore. Can you help?”

The madame cracks a sly smile and says “go down the hall to room 4...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man returns home…

…and finds his wife dressed in a sexy lingerie.

Wife: You want to change positions tonight?
Husband: Yeah!
Wife: Ok, you do the dishes and I'll sit on the couch and watch Netflix!

A man dies and ends up at the gates

A being shows him an elevator and explained "on the first level, you will see a woman. You can choose to get off, or continue upward"

So he goes to the first floor and sees a woman, who isn't very attractive. She says "you can choose to get off, or carry on to success"

The man continue...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jewish men are talking.

Shlomo: Oh Haim, you wouldn’t believe it. Last night, the wife and I were about to have sex, and I prematurely ejaculated. How embarrassing!

Haim: Oh no, what happened?

Shlomo: She comes home after shopping and says she got new lingerie. She says I should sit right there and she will...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Trip to the Brothel

One day a man comes home to find his wife having an affair with the neighbour, obviously Infuriated by this he storms out of the house and goes on a ride to the towns brothel. Upon entering he is greeted by a beautiful lady in skimpy lingerie, seething with anger he walks up to her and says "I want ...

A man is on a business trip...

and decides to buy his wife some new lingerie. A saleswoman greets him as he enters an expensive lingerie store, and asks him how she can help. Then man replies, "I'm looking for something made with very sheer fabric".

The saleswoman leaves for a minute and returns with a semi-transparent pi...

Jewish Bra

A young Jewish man walks into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York. He tells the saleslady,
"I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size 34 B."

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"

He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a J...

Wasted

A woman's husband comes home wasted every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub. "It's g...

A couple is about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.

The old man goes down to a lingerie store and picks out a sheer little number for his wife.

At home after their anniversary dinner, he gives her the lingerie and tells her to go try it on.

The old lady goes into the bathroom to change, but then says to herself, "That old fart is blind ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The dress of love

A young woman is about to get married and wants to make her first night with her husband to be as special as possible. While she is wedding planning with her mother, aunt and grandma she decides to ask them what she should do during the wedding night to get her husband really going. Her mom goes fir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife of want to spice up their stale sex life.

They want to try BDSM for the first time. So one afternoon, the husband comes home from work, heads upstairs to the bedroom to change, and finds his wife spread out on the bed decked out in bondage gear and lingerie. Without skipping a beat the husband gets undressed and leans down and asks her in a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to a pet store to buy a companion.

The assistant in the pet store however guides her to the aquarium and says "these frogs are on special.'
"Why would I want a frog" says the woman.
The shop keeper looks around sheepishly then says "this frog gives the best oral sex in the world, MIND BLOWING!!"
The woman immediately buys ...

I bought my wife a gift for Christmas and hid it in the perfect spot, a place she would never look.

I put it in her lingerie drawer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Retiring mail man

So a retiring mail man is making his route on his last day. He has been working the route for 30 years. He receives a few thank you cards, and some small gifts, which really makes him feel appreciated.

As his day is coming to an end, he comes to one of the final houses. As he puts the mail in...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is trying to decide which woman to marry...

He is picking out of three women. In order to test which one he should marry he gave each one of them $5000 to see what they would do.

The first woman spends her money on new clothes, lingerie, and a total makeover. She tells him she did it because she loves him so much and wants to look gre...

I don't get women.

My wife said she bought this lingerie for me, but then got boiling angry when I put it on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man came home and was greeted by his wife...

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home...

To find his wife sitting seductively on the couch in sexy lingerie. She looks at him coyly and asks, "Have you ever seen a dollar all crumpled up?"

The man replies, "No..."

His wife reaches near her breast and pulls out a crumpled up $1 bill. She then asks him, "Have you ever seen fift...

If love is blind...

... lingerie makes great braille

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young couple on their honeymoon...

...the bride comes out of the bathroom in her lingerie and finds her new husband cowering under the sheets. She says, "What's wrong? Don't you want to do this?"
He says, "Momma told me girls have teeth down there!"
She lifts her leg up and leans in close so he can get a good look. "Do you see ...

What did the French baker buy his wife to surprise her on Valentine's day?

BOO-lingerie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I'll take the red one."

A woman enters an adult toy store. She wanders around a bit, looking at lingerie and videos and magazines. She spends a long time at the section selling dildos, carefully examining packages and peering into display cases.

Finally, she approaches the sales counter. The clerk asks her, "Have yo...

John's wife won't let him go fishing with his buddies

They have all went together on a fishing/camping trip the past four years together. But this year she wouldn't let him. The guys were very disappointed

Two days later the other guys made it to the campsite and noticed John was sitting by a fire with a cold beer. The tent was already set and s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Postman's Last Day

A Postman, after years on the same route, was on his last day before retirement. He was cherished by all on his route. And every door was one gift after another, celebrating the beloved postman. He received gift after gift.

Then coming up to another home on the route, he sees a blonde in sexy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer selling his peaches

A farmer knocks on the door and an attractive woman answers the door in skimpy lingerie.
"Hello Ma'am, would you like to buy some peaches?"

As she leans on the door frame she asks; "are they as soft as these?" while she touches her breasts. "Or are they as round as this?" as she touches h...

One more for the road. Abu Al Abid went to USA for the first time,

He opened a furniture shop & a lingerie shop.
In 6 months....
he made a good business.
.
He sends an email to his wife saying:
Please rush, pack up & come to USA,
I sold 100 mattresses and 5000 panties.
I made $100,000.
She replies:
It is better that you close your...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vampires!

So a Man and His newly wedded wife were about to have Sex in this Transylvanian Hotel. She was lying on the bed, dress in nothing but her tiny lingerie. Just when he was about to get on the bed with her and do the deed. A Vampire crashed through the roof between them. It stood there, menacingly, and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.

I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from w...

It's a mailman's last day at work

As he makes his daily rounds, his usual customers hand him their regards. Housewives, businessman, children on their way to school--they give him assorted gifts, including chocolate, flowers, or a simple hug.

As he turns onto the next block, he sees the a blond housewife standing in beautifu...

Two friends are chatting in a bar...

A: I will never understand the way women think.

B: Why do you say that?

A: My wife came home the other day with some revealing lingerie and told me "I bought these for you."

B: So?

A: She started yelling at me when I put them on.

The neighborhood postman was retiring after 30 years.

On his last day of delivering mail, all of the people on his route left him something in the mail box in honor of his retirement. Some left money, some left small gifts, and some met him at the door and invited him in for a drink.

As he was putting the mail in the mailbox of the last house, t...

Business is going well

A man left his home country of India to go to America in hopes of making money to support his family. He opened a furniture and lingerie business and in just 3 months he had made 80,000 dollars.
So he he wrote to his wife saying 'Honey I want you and the kids to come to America, I sold 1500 matt...

Ole & Sven go to the unemployment office

Ole and Sven were just laid off from the lingerie factory so they went to the unemployment office to collect their checks.

Ole goes up and rings the bell. The lady asks, "What can I do for you?"
Ole replied, "I vas just laid off from vork and I vant to collect my unemployment"
Lady - "W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mrs. Blum's husband has lost interest in her sexually,.....

...so she goes to the local lingerie boutique and buys some crotchless
panties. That night, when her husband comes home from work,
she yells down from the bedroom, "Honey, come upstairs...
I have a surprise for you." When he opens the bedroom door,
she's lying on the bed wearing just a...

Two men are lost on the womens floor of a department store

The first man says to the other "my wife was trying on clothes and I've lost her, I don't know what to do!"

The second man says "Yeah, me too, let's stick together and we can try and find our wives".

"Good plan" says the first man, "what does your wife look like so I can keep eye out f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe bag of donuts walks into a brothel...

He tells the madam he wants something really special, money is no object.

She leads him into a room with two beautiful nubile nymphettes and he engages in a passionate hour of sex.

A few weeks later he can’t deny himself so he goes back, only this time the madam leads him into a ro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy asks his girlfriend over for dinner to meet his parents.

He tells her he will pick her up at 6 and his parents are seeing a show afterwards, so they will have the house all to themselves. She’s nervous, but also excited, so goes shopping to pick out some lingerie for their big night.

She and the chatty assistant just click and get to talking about...

Why men don't write advice to the lovelorn columns:

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's hel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dysfunctional Parrot

Jim goes to the pet store, looking to buy a parrot. They’re all pretty expensive except one, which is $20. He asks, “Hm what’s wrong with you?” To his surprise the parrot responds, “Well, I’m a dysfunctional parrot. I have no legs and I can’t fly. But I AM a great companion! I’m fluent in three lang...

A citizen was cited for a tax investigation in the IRS.

Frightened, he asked his accountant how to dress.


-"Use rags, they'll think you're a beggar," the accountant replied.

When he asked his lawyer, he told him the exact opposite:

-'Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and most elegant tie'


Confused, t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mathematician and a physicist...

... are invited to participate in a psychological experiment.

The first one is the mathematician.

He is guided into a room where his wife sits on a chair, only wearing lingerie, looking at him with lust and desire. The surprised mathematician is placed on a chair a few meters away.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mailman Gets an Interesting Christmas Gift

Joe the mailman was on his usual rounds in late December when he came upon the Jones residence, finding to his surprise that Mrs. Jones was standing in the doorway in sexy lingerie beckoning him inside. Not one to question a good thing, Joe followed her inside, where she showed him the night of his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Traveling Salesman

A traveling salesman is going from door to door in a town, and as he walks up to the door of the last house he hears what sounds like music playing inside the house.

He knocks on the door and is greeted by a twelve year old boy with a cigar in one hand, a scotch in the other, wearing his moth...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is getting married in a week.

He decides he wants to have his stag party while playing a round of golf. After a couple of holes, the man gets his in the genitalia by a rogue golf ball. Wanting to make sure everything is OK, he goes to a doctor. He asks the doctor, "I'm getting married in a week and my fiance is a virgin. Wil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old mailman retires

It's been 35 years that he's worked in the same area. He was well loved in the neighbourhood, so the people who knew him and loved him decided to surprise him on his last day. At one house, the whole family was waiting for him and they give the old mailman a huge gift bag. At another house, they giv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pierre the French Air Force Ace!

Pierre the French Air Force Ace finishes another successful mission and goes to a small hotel bar to celebrate. He meets a nice lady who after few drinks invites him to go to her hotel room. In the room conversation quickly turns into action and she asks him to kiss her. Pierre without thinking ope...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two rednecks, husband and wife, open a Bed&Breakfast place...

Among their first clients, was a couple of French. They give them the key to the room, and during the night, the redneck wife decides to go and spy on them through the key hole. She sees how the French woman strips in front of her husband and throws her lingerie at him. Seeing how aroused the man wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes up to a man in a bar....

She asks him if he wants to go back to her house and get "kinky".
The man says yes, and off to her house they head. When they get there, the woman goes off to the bathroom to get ready. She puts on her sexiest lingerie, and heads back into the bedroom where the man is putting his shoes back o...

Wife letter to husband

I am writing you this letter to let you know that I'm leaving you. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today, I was kind to you and respected you for 7 years of our marriage, most of the time you did not appreciate me. The last two weeks were like hell. A week ago, you came home and d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Tech Support...

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 then uninstalled many other val...

A Blonde woman had a christmas fantasy

She had a dream of doing santa claus, and so in the 24th she got all dressed up with lingerie, and put some perfume as well, by the time Santa was there, she asked if he wanted something "special", he replied "thank you, but I must deliever other presents".Not convinced, she took off her panties and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple goes on vacation for their 60th wedding anniversary....

They decide to go to the same island and stay at the same hotel as their honeymoon 60 years earlier.

After checking in and a nice, romantic dinner, they go back to their suite, just like on the honeymoon.

The Wife goes into the bathroom and slips on the same lingerie as their first n...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.