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Farting Jokes

A woman was sick of her husband always farting in bed...

she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one C...

Farting Issues

Patient: Doctor, every time I pass gas, the room fills up with smoke and stinks of petrol. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: Get some rest. You're just exhausted.

Farting on an elevator

It’s rude on so many levels

What did the farting cow say to the farmer who fed him?

Gassy Ass

What did the winner of the farting competition say?

"I knew I had it in me"

What do you call a farting hippo?

A hippo-poot-amus.

I just won a farting contest.

The judges were blown away.

If farting under the covers is a Dutch oven...

is doing it in the shower a German oven?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buster the farting dog...

A guy was at his girlfriend’s parents’ house, meeting them for the first time. He was understandably nervous, especially because he was trying desperately to hold in his gas.

At one point, shifting in his seat, he accidentally let one slip and it reverberated quite loudly on the leather chai...

An embarrassed older lady visited her doctor for help with a problem.

"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong, but I fart all the time. It's strange because they are both silent and odorless, but they keep coming out. In fact, I've farted about 6 times just sitting here. What can I do?"

The doctor replied, "Here, take one of these pills every morning and then come s...

Farting under the covers is no longer called a Dutch oven...

It's a free Covid test. If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.

So a woman makes an appointment to see her doctor...

She goes to the doctor's office and during the examination she says,

"Doctor, I've got a problem that i am deeply concerned about. I keep farting all the time, they don't smell or make a sound but I am constantly farting all the time, in fact I've farted 15 times since you've stepped in the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday I went rock climbing and the guy above me kept farting.

It was by far the worst ass scent I’ve ever had to deal with.

A guy gets to the doctor, farting over and over...

- Hi doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I can't stop farting. Luckily it has no smell!
The doctor looks at him, write down a prescription and say:
- Take this for a week and come back.
So the guy does. And returns still farting to the doctor:
- I took the pills, but I still can't stop f...

Why are Egyptians so good at farting?

They have good Sphinxters

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