Disappointment (noun)

Running into a wall with an erection and breaking your nose.

Prostitution Noun :/ˌprɒstɪˈtʃuːʃn

The arcane female art of getting money out of men while at the same time making them feel guilty for giving it to you.

What’s the collective noun for a group of bloodsucking parasites?

A Senate.

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I told this guy that nouns were pointless.

He said, "Give me a good reason, you cocksucker!"

I said, "Now now, there's no need for names."

What English word can be both a noun and verb at the same time?

Verb

can·ni·bal ˈkanəb(ə)l/ noun

Someone that is fed up with people

Politician (noun):

Someone who will lay down your life for his country.

**SPLENDA DADDY** - Noun :

A man who would like to be a sugar daddy.... But doesn't quite have the means to pull it off.

NSFW During a Linguistics lecture today, the teacher demonstrated how nouns can be turned into verbs;

for example "a brush is used to brush some one". My teacher gazed around the class, asking us for another example.

In retrospect, I don't think she liked the word "fist".

I just did one of those "what noun are you" quizzes...

and I got "pedantic", which is an adjective.

What is the collective noun for three dyslexics?

A riot.

I help blind children.

Verb, not an adjective.

What do you call a noun that is very good at its job?

A pronoun

What happened to the tasty noun?

Verbatim.

A guy asks Alexa to define "rendezvous"...

Alexa: As a noun, rendezvous is usually defined as an agreement between two or more persons to meet at a certain time and place.

Guy: Spell it.

Alexa: It is spelled, I. T.

My first post on r/jokes pretty bad

A man named mr.grammer ran for president. The news sources ask what he was standing for and he said he was “pro-noun”.

My first wife was a Brit. I loved her accent and the different words she had for things.

She called the bathroom the "loo." She called the pharmacy the "chemist." But my favorite was the "post." It was a noun and a verb. The mail I brought home was called the "post," and when she wanted me to mail something, I was "posting" it.

We were not wealthy by any means, but after we had b...

Both a Joke and a True Story

My girlfriend's middle name is Lee.



The other day we were discussing how we can't distinguish the difference between various English language describing words: verb, noun, pronoun, adjective etc.



She turns to me, deadpan, and says "I always remember adverb because I am ...

A panda walks into a bar

Goes to the bar and orders some food, then sits down and eats. Once finished he stands up pulls out two pistols and shots the place up.
The barman having ducked behind the bar stands up and says
"Oi panda, what the hell are you doing?"
The panda stops at the door, turns around and says
...

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

Siblings

(noun) : people you either plan to murder or plan a murder with. There's no middle ground.

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What's the LGBT community's favorite sex position?

Sixty-*Nouns*

American Exceptionalism

Noun. When every country in the world decides to do something good, *except America*

A Panda walks into an expensive restaurant...

He gets seated by the host and looks at the menu. He orders the most expensive items on the menu; Porterhouse, A bottle of Chateau Lafite and Black Truffle Cheesecake. When the check comes, the Panda pulls out a handgun and shoots the waiter right between the eyes.

As the Panda is walking out...

Time flies like an arrow...

...but fruit flies like a banana.

Probably, a lot of you already know this one. But I posted it from a -- *ahem* -- 'philosophical' consideration (not a really good idea for a joke subreddit).

But I think about this joke from time to time. Not only is it a complex double pun -- flie...

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One day, a hippie gets on a bus...

He sees a beautiful nun and sits next to her. He turns too the nun and says, ''Will you have sex with me?'' Surprised by the question, the Noun answers,''No!'' and gets off at the next stop.

After she gets off the bus the bus driver turns to the Hippie and says,''I over heard your conversatio...

What are you called if you are paid to be a thing?

A pro-noun!

Cation

Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on]

-Noun Chemistry

1.An ion with paws-tive charge.
2.The cutest ion ever.

Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?

*noun
the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.*

I found the meaning of life!

noun

the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

Simple instructions from an English teacher for a great essay.

1. Don't use no double negatives.
2. Don't abbrev.
3. Personally, in my opinion, a writer or essayist should not make use of too many words or phrases which he does not necessarily need in many cases.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. Dont, use, commas, when they are, unnecessary.
6. Ke...

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Fred and Barney are standing next to the jukebox,...

Barney says, "Hey, Fred, what do you want to listen to? *Rock* music?"

Fred replies, "You know, Barney, just because we live in the stone age doesn't mean all your puns have to be rock-based. Besides, I have a very eclectic taste in music which better suites my personality."

Barney ret...

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Punctuation!

A panda escapes the zoo and hooks up with some chick at a bar. They start out with 69. He's eating this chick's pussy, but the blow job is so good he cums. Then he just gets up and starts to head out the door. Chick says, "Hey, where you going?" Panda says, "I'm a panda, look it up." So she gets ...

The meaning of the word "Poor"

Poor (noun) = When you have too much month at the end of your money

So a Panda walks into a restaurant...

And the host, thinking this is a little out of the ordinary, asks the panda if he is here to eat.

"Of course." says the panda.

A little ashamed, the host walks the panda to a table and tells him the waiter will be along shortly. Soon enough the waiter comes along and asks the panda wha...

Jokes

1. Something said in the pursuit of laughter.

2. A short tale with an end worth laughs after.

3. A noun you expect

commands no respect.

Root word "jocus". This limerick: disaster.

A panda walks into a bar

and orders a bowl of beer nuts from the bartender. After finishing his meal, the panda whips out an enormous .45 Magnum and lets off six rounds into the ceiling.

!BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

As soon as the report of the last round had finished echoing around the bar, the panda rose...

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Appalachian Dictionary

Virgin: (noun) - A 12 year old girl that can run faster than her brother.

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