A grumpy old lady goes up to her husband and starts throwing a tantrum.
Wife: “I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is wrinkled skin, saggy boobs and a sad body. Please give me some kind of compliment to make me feel good!”
Husband: “Sounds like you still have perfect vision”
My little brother is throwing a tantrum because we aren’t having German sausages for dinner
He’s being such a brat
What do you call it when a girl throws a tantrum during her period?
An ovary-action.
Seeing my son throw tantrums about going to the toy store makes me so mad
All he does is make excuses and I'm afraid he might get fired from his position any day.
Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."
They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
Why do pregnant women throw tantrums
Because they're trying to bring out their inner child
My 7yr old son told me this tonight. What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?
A meltdown
*edit* Thanks for the silver, its greatly appreciated
What do you call a baby plate throwing a tantrum?
Childish
How do you deal with a toddler throwing a tantrum?
Tell him to wait until the vote count is finished
Why did Loki throw a tantrum when he couldn't find his brother during a game of hide and seek?
Because he was a Thor loser
Cristiano Ronaldo has a baby.
Cristiano Ronaldo has his first parenting lesson with his new son. "Right," says the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?" "Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f**king floor," replies the baby.
my wife had a tantrum while we was playing scramble,
She threw a G at me,
then a N
followed by a B
and lastly the A hit me in the forehead.
I thought to my self thats bang out of order.
My daughter was throwing one of her temper tantrums when she shouted at me...
"Well sorry for being born!"
I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "It's all right, just don't do it again."
I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.
You can say he was having a midlife crisis
My anti vaxer neighbor's eight year old was throwing a temper tantrum
"Isn't she too old to throw a temper tantrum?", I asked. "It's not a temper tantrum. It's a mid life crisis."
Wandering round Liverpool yesterday with my wife and our toddler son, when he decided to have a tantrum, throwing his favourite red toy car out of his buggy.
By the time I picked it up, it was blue and had new number plates.
A woman was trying to breastfeed her son in a bus
The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."
An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, ...
As we watched an anti-vaxxer's toddler throw a tantrum, my friend asked "What's his problem?"
"Mid-life crisis", I replied.
Only married men need apply.
A company has a policy of hiring only married men.
Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front leader called on the CEO.
She asked him: "Why is it that you limit your employees to married men? It must be because you consider us women as weak, dumb, cantankerous, or do you co...
What happens when a vegan gets mad?
They throw a tempeh tantrum.
What's the difference between a toddler and a Capitol Rioter?
Toddlers have more teeth, smell better, and have thrown tantrums for more justified reasons.
What is the keyboard shortcut to becoming an idiot who throws temper tantrums like a child?
Alt-right.
When your a spoiled brat and your dad is a trusts lawyer
Kid starts throwing a tantrum in a department store:
Kid: If you don’t buy this for me for Christmas I’ll kill myself!”
Dad: “Well then it’s a good thing I took out that life insurance policy on you”
Kid: “Ughhh! I hate you!”
Dad: “I love you too”
Kid: “Didn’t you ...
It seems that my kids move at the speed of light
Because when they throw a '5 min' tantrum, it last forever
Shopping nightmare
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, Now Monica, we just have half of th...
What happens when a musician messes up during a song?
He has a tempo tantrum.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...
Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really ...
A man brought his son to a grocery store...
A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.
Despite the scene his son was causing...
Binghamton University's Athletic Director compared the mens basketball team to a zoo. The Binghamton Zoo responded with the following letter:
I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in th...
What do you call the conniption someone has after they lose bigly?
A trumper tantrum.
What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?
Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.
As a crowded airliner is about to take off
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. ...
Mother nature decides to buy a condo in Miami Beach.
Mother nature decided she would like to be a snowbird and bought a condo in Miami Beach. All of the mythological creatures were invited to her housewarming party.
Father time gave her a beautiful grandfather clock. Jack Frost presented her with a state of art air conditioning system. Th...
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