How does Kevin Bacon escape from a bear trap?

He's gotta cut footloose

Two guys are attempting an escape from an insane asylum

Eventually they escape the main building but there are walls around the encampment so they get to a roof to get over the wall, they look at the gap between the roof and the wall and decide it’s too dangerous. the first guy says,
“Alright, we can’t jump across so I’ll just shine my flashlight over...

So, apple, lemon, and pea escape from the refrigerator..

Happy to be free from their prison, they go to a bar to celebrate. Many bars later, they're all tipsy at best when they come across a hill.

Pea, being a energetic drunk, gets super excited saying, "Hey! Let's roll down the hill! Come on!" And before the other two object he launches hims...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pirate and his parrot were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle.

While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To his amazement, a Genie came forth.


This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the stand...

So three women escape from a prison, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

They hide under a tarp on a work truck. The security guard is checking the tarp at the gate. He pokes his rifle at the brunette and she goes "meow, meow". He pokes his rifle at the red head and she goes "woof, woof". He pokes his rifle at the blonde and she goes "potato, potato".

How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?

He reached ESCAPE VELOCITY

Jack and Carl are planning their escape from jail...

Jack: "Tomorrow we'll escape. Here's the plan. if the wall is short we'll go over it and if the wall is tall we'll go under it."

Carl: "Let me check the wall!"

After few minutes Carl comes back...

Carl: "There's a problem... there's no wall..."

Jack: "Gosh! We can't escap...

It was very easy to escape from prison.

The WiFi was so bad that there were zero bars on my cell.

How did i escape from Iraq?

Iran

My two British neighbours had their donkey escape from the barn, and are desperately looking for it.

They are assless chaps.

Three women plan to escape from jail. One is a redhead, one is a brunette, and one is a blonde.

As the women are in their cell, the brunette suggests an escape plan. She decides that they should break out at exactly midnight, as that is when the guards change posts and are most tired.

The women escape quietly and quickly. However, a guard somehow notices them, and proceeds to shout and...

Three women escape from a prison and take refuge in an old barn.

The barn is almost empty, except for three old wooden barrels. The police are closing in on them, so they decide they will each hide in a barrel.

After a while the police arrive and start to search the barn. A police office kicks the fist barrel, with a brunette woman inside.

“Meooooow...

How mathematicians escape from prison

How mathematicians escape from the prison:

Mathematicians: let's say there is a door...

Q: How did the programmer escape from prison?

A: from%20prison

After years in jail, I finally managed to escape from it, and when I got home my wife said, "They announce your escape on TV nine hours ago. Where have you been and with who?"

I called the police and turned myself in.

How do you escape from a closed cellar without the keys?

I don't know either, please help me.

Two guys are trying to escape from Soviet Russia.

The first guy looks over to the other and says : race you to the Finnish line!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If my ancestors hadn't managed to escape from Nazi Germany, I probably wouldn't exist.

They went to Argentina in 1945.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ancestors knew exactly when to escape from Nazi Germany.

There were a LOT of red flags.

Did you ever hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?

You could say it was a very well thawed out plan

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead escape from their cells on a prison island...

... They sneak past the guards and make it to the shoreline. The mainland is a kilometre away, through dangerous waters.


The brunette, being the bravest, leaves first. She swims as hard as she can, but after only a few hundred meters she becomes exhausted and drowns.


The redhea...

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman escape from prison.

They have just finished climbing the wall when they hear police sirens so they decide to hide in the back of a nearby R.S.P.C.A van and each climbed into some old cloth sacks they find in there. Ten minuets later a police officer looks into the back of the van and sees the three filled sacks.
He ...

How do you escape from a Jewish Cop?

You take the toll road.

How do you escape from a windowless bunker with a sealed vault door using only a rubber band and a puddle of water?

1).Look into the puddle and see what you saw.

2). Pick up the saw and cut the rubber band in half

3).Pick up the 2 halves of the rubber band.

4). 1 half plus 1 half equals 1 whole.

5). Use the whole on the door and escape.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

JOSEPH FRITZL: Why don't you write a book about basements you can't escape from?

It's bound to be a best cellar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy escape from prision

A man escapes from prison, where he sat for the last 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

However, the only thing he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. Then he ties the young woman on the bed, comes on top of her and kiss...

What wouldn't MacGyver be able to escape from using a paper clip?

A desk job

Three women escape from prison....

A redhead, brunette & a blonde escape from prison and hide in a farmers' barn. Seeing no other cover, they decide to hide in three separate burlap sacks.

Before long, a deputy searches the barn and comes across the sacks.

He nudges the first sack, with the redhead in it, and she l...

3 Prisoners planned to escape from a prison...

The first prisoner scaled over the prison wall, but made a loud crash when he landed on the other side.
A patrolling guard yelled out "WHO GOES THERE?".
The prisoner thinks quickly and makes a cat noise "MEOW!"
The guard calms down and thinks it just a stray cat.
The second prisoner foll...

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